I need to apologize to someone today

[clandestine]

Looking at myself introspectively, I think hair loss is stressing out my every day person. This, coupled with a struggle with depression which is relatively ongoing; I've acted out of character.

At least, what I thought my character was. But what are values if we don't demonstrate them in our everyday, through action. It is action which defines a person, moreso than anything else.

I need to apologize to someone today, I hope they take it to heart. I've not been myself, but sometimes it can be hard to make people see that, as all they experience is 'yourself', but not yourself.

[BigThinker]

Looking at myself introspectively, I think hair loss is stressing out my every day person. This, coupled with a struggle with depression which is relatively ongoing; I've acted out of character.

At least, what I thought my character was. But what are values if we don't demonstrate them in our everyday, through action. It is action which defines a person, moreso than anything else.

I need to apologize to someone today, I hope they take it to heart. I've not been myself, but sometimes it can be hard to make people see that, as all they experience is 'yourself', but not yourself.

Heard that. I've pushed friends away who are wanting to hang out because I wasn't at peace with myself. I've snapped at my roommate for doing trivial things. In my late teens/early 20s I would have never done any of those things. Always happy just to spend any amount of time with friends and I couldn't be out partying enough.

Life's changed in other ways besides just my hair and age. Work and school are two totally different thing then then were 2-5 years ago. I think a lot of us need to learn to overcome this depression an anxiety -- for ourselves and for the people around us.

[mmmcoffee]

agreed guys.

on my good days, im pretty much normal, but still stressed out and anxious internally.

on my bad days, definitely very impatient, quick to anger and visibly stressed out.

Some guys just say "be a man, go live your life"...easier said than done.

if im like this as a NW2, i feel bad for people who will be around me at the more advanced stages.

[BigThinker]

agreed guys.

on my good days, im pretty much normal, but still stressed out and anxious internally.

on my bad days, definitely very impatient, quick to anger and visibly stressed out.

Some guys just say "be a man, go live your life"...easier said than done.

if im like this as a NW2, i feel bad for people who will be around me at the more advanced stages.

A lot of them say f**k it and overcome it to find some sort of happiness I'm sure. I'm also sure that some are ruined for most of their life. Should I go bald, I'll opt for the former.

[mmmcoffee]

i will never let myself get there, even if it means a very expensive HT, it will be worth it for my overall emotional and mental health...

id rather live to 80-90 as a man with hair and less money saved than die rich at 50 because stress and anxiety caused health issues

the problem with hair transplants is you have to go pretty bald before you should consider them, which still amounts to years of stress/anxiety.

[clandestine]

Thanks for sharing, guys. Helps me feel less alone in all this.

I've apologized this morning, and it's been a long day. I'm a very sensitive person, and I think about things a lot. I still feel bad about the situation, as this is a good friend I've been disrespectful towards.

I've come to a conclusion, though. Ultimately, it's all about feeling. Are we acting in ways which make people feel good, or bad? If we care about a person, we should strive to help them feel good.

Now, how about ourselves; are our feelings negative, and thus of detriment to our well-being, or are they geared more towards the positive? Perception necessarily dictates reality; we all choose so much about our lives, everyday.

Choice being a major theme here. Hakuna matata is choice.

[clandestine]

These thoughts may seem obvious to some, but I think sometimes we foret the obvious. So much so that we do not act in accordance what is, or should be, obvious.

[BigThinker]

Thanks for sharing, guys. Helps me feel less alone in all this.

I've apologized this morning, and it's been a long day. I'm a very sensitive person, and I think about things a lot. I still feel bad about the situation, as this is a good friend I've been disrespectful towards.

I've come to a conclusion, though. Ultimately, it's all about feeling. Are we acting in ways which make people feel good, or bad? If we care about a person, we should strive to help them feel good.

Now, how about ourselves; are our feelings negative, and thus of detriment to our well-being, or are they geared more towards the positive? Perception necessarily dictates reality; we all choose so much about our lives, everyday.

Choice being a major theme here. Hakuna matata is choice.

Absolutely. Choice is everything. The choice to pursue treatments, an education, physical activity, good nutrition, surrounding ourselves with positive people, pursuing certain women, etc. etc. That's one thing I know; we can shape ourselves and the world around us with a positive attitude and perseverance.

[Fixed by 35]

The effects on personality that hair loss can have are fascinating. Baldness turned me into a misanthrope; regardless of what people say you are treated differently if it happens to you when you're young (20 in my case; most people my age assumed I was 10-20 years older than them and it's only now that I'm starting to look my age again). For example, at university, the assumption was made that I was a mature student and I was generally ostracised from social gatherings with new people unless I made a lot of extra effort to convince them I was the same age as them!

The truth is I eventually decided I couldn't be bothered to make an effort. Most of my (small number of) friends are now are much older than I am and I have spent so much time on the wings of society that I feel more like an observer than a participant. Bizarre though it may sound, I don't feel down about his. I think that most people are contemptible and I derive a lot of satisfaction from taking this view. From the elderly who are too ****ing slow to be on the road or the pavement to the idiot teenager who thinks a public doorway is a good place to hang about, from the cynical white collar fraudster to the wretched pickpocket and from the obsession with celebrity to the enjoyment of reality TV, I look down upon it with more contempt than any of the rabble could ever look down on my baldness.

Of course, this is all my internal thoughts spilling out on an anonymous forum but the most fun part of all is being obnoxious (think Curb Your Enthusiasm with more biting sarcasm). Since baldness led to me no longer caring what people thought of me and since I have no respect for them I get a lot of enjoyment out of the belittlement of others. I get to make put downs to people about everything from bad customer service, their stupid religions/superstitions and yes, their stupid hair cuts. Of course, you could carry on down the 'acceptance seeking' route is you want, but being an obnoxious git is much more fun!

[Fixed by 35]

I should add that part of the image problem for baldness is people like me. Sorry about that!

[Exodus]

Today someone asked about my new haircut. I explained that it wasn't a haircut...

[Fixed by 35]

Tame by my standards, but a good response nonetheless. Let a dumb **** know they're a dumb ****, never give them an inch. They'll be so shit scared of your put downs that they'll never mention your baldness.

[DepressedByHairLoss]

Looking at myself introspectively, I think hair loss is stressing out my every day person. This, coupled with a struggle with depression which is relatively ongoing; I've acted out of character.

At least, what I thought my character was. But what are values if we don't demonstrate them in our everyday, through action. It is action which defines a person, moreso than anything else.

I need to apologize to someone today, I hope they take it to heart. I've not been myself, but sometimes it can be hard to make people see that, as all they experience is 'yourself', but not yourself.

Clandestine, this happens to me all the time. Hair loss has really changed me as a person and to those to whom I am the closest with, the change is blatantly obvious. I yell more, I get pissed off more often, I don't enjoy the things that I used to love, and these feelings get reflected upon those with whom I interact. I have been transformed from a vivacious, energetic, and outgoing rocker to a depressed, introverted, and pissed off shell of the person that I once was. Whenever I lash out at some one close to me, I always apologize and say that I would never be acting this way were it not for this pain due to hair loss that I am experiencing. People who do not experience hair loss for themselves truly do not understand the pain that we go through each and every day.

[clandestine]

DBHL; Sorry to hear you're having it rough too. I sometimes feel the incredible stress we can at times undergo as sufferers (be it hair loss, side effect, combination of, or otherwise) has the potential to make us stronger persons. But only if we find it within us to rise to the occasion, as well as refuse to admit defeat in the long run.

All the best mate, try to relax, maybe a shift in paradigm is needed. Meditate, perhaps. Know we're always here for support should you need it.

[DepressedByHairLoss]

Hey Clandestine, thanks a lot for the empathy. I always respected your point of view because you seem like a very sensible guy and you seem to practice what you preach. You don't preach about how hair loss should not define our identity and then go out and break the bank to ensure that you yourself will not go bald. Hypocrites like that really piss me off.

You talk about this hair loss having the potential to make me a stronger person, but ever since I noticed this hair loss, I've just become a weaker, less confident, more inhibited person than I ever was.

Anyway, I know that you're a young sufferer and I really sympathize with you. Actually, a friend of mine started losing his hair in high school and was actually part of a rock band at the same time. He got teased for it, but came up with some witty (yet angry and aggressive responses) and eventually thrived. He's living in Manhattan now, is married to a hot young lady, and is one of the most secure guys that I know.