Need advise on how women think...

[mpb47]

I am trying to figure out what went wrong with a relationship that never was.
If anyone has been in a like situation, I would appreciate interpreting what happened and what this girl was saying to me. Long story so keep it as short as I can.

Friend pushed me to get on several dating sites to get back into living again. I had been very sick...gained a bunch of weight but when health restored things were turning around...lost the weight looked decent again..so why not.

I had only been on one site for a few weeks when a girl contacted me...it was too good to be true as she met all 3 of my needs: nice looking, nice person, high iq. Better yet she was into the same interests as me ...one of which is rare for women (IT).

One thing that would be repeat itself would be how the girl would seem interested, then pull away, only to return later. I think this was due to the fact that she was under stress...going through a divorce and family problems, but regardless it was back and forth and confused me.

so after the first pull away and return we meet for our first date. I thought things went really well....but I often misread women so who knows for sure.

At that point she seemed to pull away again for a week so I contacted and asked her if anything was wrong. she said she had been out of town....and that turned out to be true but still seemed pulled away. Around this time or maybe shortly later, I just came out and told her if she found me unattractive, to just say the word and no hard feelings. But she wouldn't say a word..only that she had just got divorced and didn't want any relationship with me or anyone else..and was thinking of getting off the dating sites. Fair enough...but maybe a month went by and she was contacting me again.,,,we finally had a small fight and that is when she told me she was not interested in dating me....that when we met I said some things that she knew we would not be a good fit. Says she has a good friend that would be a good match for me. What did I say that was so wrong? Only thing I could think of was some jokes that she took as serious..for someone so smart, she did not get the concept of deadpan.

So at that point (late OCT) I figured that was it..last time I would hear from her.

But over the holidays, she appears yet again..this time depressed and sounded like she needed a friend. I talk to her and tried to cheer her up- nothing more. Well she later emails me and thanks me , but then adds how we are just friends and how on paper we were a good match, but once we met there was nothing else there. What the heck does that mean and why did she bring it up? She brings up her friend that would be a good match for me. I asked how she knew she would be a good match for me since she really didnt know me that well. no response.

I guess I am looking for some kind of explanation of where I went wrong. Next time I won' be telling any jokes till I know them better but other than that I can't see what I did wrong. I try to learn from mistakes and want to know what the heck she meant ..any ideas?

Some of my friends think I was in a no win situation as she had just been dumped by hubby #2 I do agree that was part of it, but I still think there was something about me she did not like and just trying to figure out what it was....

Any ideas?
Thanks....