I'm so devastated for my son

[muchtooyoung]

I'm the Mother of a 20 year old boy who is going bald!! I noticed it a bit over the summer on the back crown area but didn't say anything. When he was home from college over Thanksgiving though, he said he's noticing thinning at the crown but wasn't hugely concerned as he thinks he'll be 40 before it gets really going. The unbelievable thing is that he's home now for Christmas and I think it's now thinning not just in the back, but now progressing to the middle of his top head - how can this have advanced so in just a month?! I'm just sick over this - he's just too young and he's such a good kid -I don't want to have him suffer with this at this age. I come from a long line of full-haired men but my husband's brother and his son went very bald early, and I have to think that this is where it came from. This is messed-up thinking but I'm almost angry with my husband for passing this on - my other son also has another type of problem that my husband's family has and I at least thought this boy would be safe from the flawed genetics, but very unfortunately not. I haven't said anything to my son as I don't want to worry him and I know it greatly would. I'm thinking I should bring him to a dermatologist for a confirmation and then maybe get him on rogaine. He makes his own decisions but I would say propecia is a last resort. I'm not wealthy but nothing is more important to me than the well-being of my kids, so I'm prepared to pay for a hair transplant down the road if he wants it. I realize this isn't a horrible illness, but the mental effects on such a young person can be just as devastating. Any suggestions or words of wisdom??

[AFye]

I can't wait for the crowd who says women don't care about hair deal with this one.

Angry at husband for passing down bad genes?

I'll be watching this thread closely.

[win200]

I can't wait for the crowd who says women don't care about hair deal with this one.

Well, it's her son, not a potential romantic interest. Mothers scrutinize their sons differently; they notice things others don't. I still think most guys with hair loss vastly overestimate the degree to which most (not all, but MOST) women care about or even notice hair loss. I mentioned my brother's hair loss to my ex-wife the other day, who sees him reasonably frequently, and she had no idea what I was talking about--she literally hadn't notice. And he's a NW3 *at best.*

[AFye]

Well, it's her son, not a potential romantic interest. Mothers scrutinize their sons differently; they notice things others don't. I still think most guys with hair loss vastly overestimate the degree to which most (not all, but MOST) women care about or even notice hair loss. I mentioned my brother's hair loss to my ex-wife the other day, who sees him reasonably frequently, and she had no idea what I was talking about--she literally hadn't notice. And he's a NW3 *at best.*

No it just shows how women really feel about hairloss. They hate it.

[ChrisM]

In my opinion your attention to this and bringing it up to him will make him feel self conscious and more than likely uncomfortable. If you have noticed it it is a good chance that he has as well if he has been looking into a mirror lately. My best advice would be to be as supportive as possible and to be tactful.

Also it is a scientific fact that both sexes pass and indirectly activate and trigger the baldness gene not just one. Though in his paternal line baldness runs through that line as a male with XY chromosone.. your matrilineal genes are in him as well and it is the pairing of both the dominant bald gene and recessive traits and yours perhaps being the trigger pull that have potentially activated the baldness. It is a 50/50 shot a genetic lottery..two boys can be born from the same family and one can have a full head of hair and the other brother conceviably go bald before 30 years old it is just random like that. However now is not the time to blame your husband, yourself or anyone else for that matter.. it is time to be there for your son and to seek answers for him should he ask them of you.. and constructive ones that are well resrched at that.

[Artista]

You can 'let it all out here' but you must also be accepting of honest rebuttal as well.
" I'm almost angry with my husband for passing this on"
".. my husband's flawed genes.."

Hair loss skips generations on BOTH SIDES. You cannot absolutely connect or BLAME THIS solely to your husband and his genes. That is unfair and almost sounding disrespectful.
That hair loss to your son may have also been brought on by your side of the family too.
That should not be the focus anyway.. Your son's hair loss is why your here and you are at the right forum to ,not only get great advice for him, but also to dispel misconceptions about hair loss.

[didi]

very interesting thread

amazes me how women dont care if their bf/husband is bald but get so devastated if their son goes bald...i mean logic would tell you if you marry someone who is bald chances are that your son will be bald too...

is it just that females mind cant join the dots? if im to mary women who has serious mental illness i would anticipate my offsprings would have big chance to have the same illness, you kinda accept the risk n when it happens you are already prepared??anyone agrees with this

[Exodus]

In my opinion your attention to this and bringing it up to him will make him feel self conscious and more than likely uncomfortable. If you have noticed it it is a good chance that he has as well if he has been looking into a mirror lately. My best advice would be to be as supportive as possible and to be tactful.

Also it is a scientific fact that both sexes pass and indirectly activate and trigger the baldness gene not just one. Though in his paternal line baldness runs through that line as a male with XY chromosone.. your matrilineal genes are in him as well and it is the pairing of both the dominant bald gene and recessive traits and yours perhaps being the trigger pull that have potentially activated the baldness. It is a 50/50 shot a genetic lottery..two boys can be born from the same family and one can have a full head of hair and the other brother conceviably go bald before 30 years old it is just random like that. However now is not the time to blame your husband, yourself or anyone else for that matter.. it is time to be there for your son and to seek answers for him should he ask them of you.. and constructive ones that are well resrched at that.

Im the youngest of three brothers. Number 1 has perfect hair, mature hairline. Number 2 mass recession and thinning. Me, I've maintained my hairline somewhat, but diffuse all over the crown/top/vertex of my head. Baldness most likely comes from my Mothers side as my grandad and uncle are bald, yet on my dads they're full of thick luscious black velvety hair.

Various approaches really for your son, but it could be super awkward raising it with him...

[Kayman]

No it just shows how women really feel about hairloss. They hate it.

So what are you saying? That she'll now think less of her son because he's losing hair? This is a completely different situation its a mother concerned for her sons mental well being not a woman who's finding her partner less attractive due to hair loss.

[win200]

So what are you saying? That she'll now think less of her son because he's losing hair? This is a completely different situation its a mother concerned for her sons mental well being not a woman who's finding her partner less attractive due to hair loss.

Exactly. It's an apples-and-oranges comparison.