I'm so devastated for my son

[Hicks]

Have you thought about PRP? During my ground stomping to find a surgeon, Doctors or their office promoted PRP. If you got the coin I would at least try this and document the process over the years. They never promoted it as a regrowth but more as maintenance. You might not think something is working till you stop. Then it's game over. Best of luck.

[win200]

Any suggestions or words of wisdom??

You've got a really tough decision to make here--either leave your son be and let him continue to think he won't have any serious loss until he's 40, or intervene and encourage him to take steps that could very plausibly help him hold onto his hair. And I'm not being flippant; that's a genuinely difficult choice. It's very difficult to predict how someone will lose their hair, but if he's experiencing noticeable crown and vertex thinning at 20, it's very, very likely that he will have fairly significant hair loss by the time he's 25 or 30. Everyone balds differently, but showing loss at his age doesn't bode well. Your position is difficult because the condition doesn't bother him, but it doesn't bother him because he's under an impression that's probably false. A lot of folks will say leave him be and let him enjoy his 20s, but there's a good chance that he would be upset to find out, ten years later, that someone knew differently and could have intervened to help him keep his hair for a longer time.

There isn't a great "cure" for hair loss, but there are treatments that can frequently help guys hold onto hair for a significantly longer time. Propecia is a prescription medication that inhibits production of DHT, a form of testosterone that causes hair loss in men with male pattern balding. It's effective in the vast majority of guys, and has a very small incidence of side effects (although the frequency of side effects is hotly debated). Propecia is, far and away, the best treatment ever developed for male hair loss. Rogaine is topically applied and could help your son regrow hair; it's most effective on the crown, which is where he has loss. If he got on these treatments now, it could save lots of his hair during the coming years. Neither of these treatments prevent hair loss entirely, and nature will eventually take its course, but they may buy him years of having hair on his head, which may help him benefit from new treatments that are in development.

My advice would be to think carefully about your son, and whether he's the type of person that would be deeply affected by losing his hair at a young age. If he is, it may be worth puncturing his bubble to intervene. There are many men on this forum who desperately wish that they had had the wherewithall to treat their hair loss at an earlier age.

[Kayman]

I'm the Mother of a 20 year old boy who is going bald!! I noticed it a bit over the summer on the back crown area but didn't say anything. When he was home from college over Thanksgiving though, he said he's noticing thinning at the crown but wasn't hugely concerned as he thinks he'll be 40 before it gets really going. The unbelievable thing is that he's home now for Christmas and I think it's now thinning not just in the back, but now progressing to the middle of his top head - how can this have advanced so in just a month?! I'm just sick over this - he's just too young and he's such a good kid -I don't want to have him suffer with this at this age. I come from a long line of full-haired men but my husband's brother and his son went very bald early, and I have to think that this is where it came from. This is messed-up thinking but I'm almost angry with my husband for passing this on - my other son also has another type of problem that my husband's family has and I at least thought this boy would be safe from the flawed genetics, but very unfortunately not. I haven't said anything to my son as I don't want to worry him and I know it greatly would. I'm thinking I should bring him to a dermatologist for a confirmation and then maybe get him on rogaine. He makes his own decisions but I would say propecia is a last resort. I'm not wealthy but nothing is more important to me than the well-being of my kids, so I'm prepared to pay for a hair transplant down the road if he wants it. I realize this isn't a horrible illness, but the mental effects on such a young person can be just as devastating. Any suggestions or words of wisdom??

Dont be devastated for him, just be supportive. If he see's its upsetting you it could make him feel bad. It's not flawed genetics, its just genetics and its normal. there is no cure for male pattern baldness, it doesn't exist. You can delay or slow down the loss with the following treatments, minoxidil which you apply topically twice a day, finasteride which you take one tablet a day, and nizoral which is a shampoo that you use about twice a week. These are treatments, not cures, they are more about retaining what you have. The finasteride can have side effects in some guys such as low libido, erectile dysfunction, anxiety, depression, affected memory etc, these affect a small percentage of men but it does happen and there are forums where people still suffer the sides after they cease taking the pill. Your dermatologist or doctor will re affirm what I've just said.
The hair transplant route is very very pricey road to go down running into tens of thousands of dollars. Its not a case of one transplant and everything is fixed, its a case of multiple surgerys over time because more hair will fall out in the future and more transplanted hair will be needed to take its place, it also leaves scarring in the donor area from where the hair was taken depending on the method used. So if in the future your son decides he wants to buzz his hair off he will have scars to show for the transplants.
How does your son feel about it? Because it seems a little like you are more upset than he is, is it something that really bothers him? Or is he the kind of guy who's happy enough to buzz his hair short and get on with life?

I started losing my hair when I was 20. I went through the treatments of minoxidil, propecia, looked into surgery etc but in my experience all it really did was inhibit me from accepting myself for who I was and moving on, for a decade I was just constantly worried about my hair and taking propecia and minoxidil and checking to see how much hair I had lost and checking the meds were still working and it just made me insecure. Instead of "bald" jokes you just get "balding" jokes instead. I dropped the treatments because after a while they lose effectiveness and looking back I wish I had just accepted it from the start like I do now.
I've said it before, its much less stressful and so much better to be a bald man in control than an insecure man trying to fight against his genetics. In the long run your son will just need to accept it so he will need to cross that bridge sooner or later. There is no reason he cant by happy even with hair loss. A lot of people who cant let it go think its the end of the world and they make themselves miserable as a result when all they need to do is accept who they are and move on.
Im not saying it wont be tough for him, but what I am saying is, at the end of the day when he accepts who he is, he's going to be just fine. Its better to be the bald guy who's smiling instead of the insecure guy who's looking at his shoes.

[Pate]

I've said it before, its much less stressful and so much better to be a bald man in control than an insecure man trying to fight against his genetics...

Im not saying it wont be tough for him, but what I am saying is, at the end of the day when he accepts who he is, he's going to be just fine. Its better to be the bald guy who's smiling instead of the insecure guy who's looking at his shoes.

This is the best advice out there.

I'll just say the following:

1. When/if you speak to him, please don't act like it's a big deal - certainly don't let him know how devastated you are. Hair loss is only half the problem. The other half, and arguably the much more important half, is how he feels about it. Particularly in the early stages of his hair loss his assumptions about his condition won't be set in the stone and they are open to change, especially since he's still only just out of his teens. As Kayman said it's better to be okay with one's situation, no matter what it is. So help him be okay with it!

2. If you do speak to him and he wants to do something about it, don't delay. It is absolutely critical to tackle hairloss as soon as possible. Once hair is gone, it's probably gone for good (unless the new generation of treatments work better than they appear to work so far). Get on Rogaine or Propecia, or preferably both.

3. It sounds like what your son has is a type of balding called 'persistent hairline' where his hairline is staying intact. This could be good news because the hairline is normally the hardest to treat. Propecia and Rogaine both work much better in the crown. If you tackle it early there is a good chance that he could even regrow some or much of the hair he has lost.

4. You said you never noticed whether a guy was balding before (thank you for this btw - there are a lot of idiots on this forum who like to insist balding is a deal-breaker for every woman). You should take this attitude to your son and generalise it - point out it's not such a big deal and most women won't worry/care. Obviously some do, many clearly don't (my own girlfriend among them) and this will help him avoid some of the worst mental anguish associated with balding - that it somehow means a guy will never get a girlfriend ever again.

My own mother fussed about my hairloss so badly when I didn't even care in the slightest, when I was about 22 and she first noticed my hair receding. Now I'm 31 and quite bald and, worse, I care about it, in part because my own mother acted like it was a big deal when I didn't think it was. She bought me Rogaine without my even asking for it and then kept asking me if I was using it.

Now that I'm almost bald my mother has changed her tune and tells me she never cared about my father's baldness and that other women won't either. Thanks Mum, but it's too late now! The damage was done in my early 20s, and now I am very self-conscious about it.

Thankfully my girlfriend doesn't seem to be, and I am so grateful I have her - but please don't make the same mistake my mother did!

[baldozer]

Dont be devastated for him, just be supportive. If he see's its upsetting you it could make him feel bad. It's not flawed genetics, its just genetics and its normal. there is no cure for male pattern baldness, it doesn't exist. You can delay or slow down the loss with the following treatments, minoxidil which you apply topically twice a day, finasteride which you take one tablet a day, and nizoral which is a shampoo that you use about twice a week. These are treatments, not cures, they are more about retaining what you have. The finasteride can have side effects in some guys such as low libido, erectile dysfunction, anxiety, depression, affected memory etc, these affect a small percentage of men but it does happen and there are forums where people still suffer the sides after they cease taking the pill. Your dermatologist or doctor will re affirm what I've just said.
The hair transplant route is very very pricey road to go down running into tens of thousands of dollars. Its not a case of one transplant and everything is fixed, its a case of multiple surgerys over time because more hair will fall out in the future and more transplanted hair will be needed to take its place, it also leaves scarring in the donor area from where the hair was taken depending on the method used. So if in the future your son decides he wants to buzz his hair off he will have scars to show for the transplants.
How does your son feel about it? Because it seems a little like you are more upset than he is, is it something that really bothers him? Or is he the kind of guy who's happy enough to buzz his hair short and get on with life?

I started losing my hair when I was 20. I went through the treatments of minoxidil, propecia, looked into surgery etc but in my experience all it really did was inhibit me from accepting myself for who I was and moving on, for a decade I was just constantly worried about my hair and taking propecia and minoxidil and checking to see how much hair I had lost and checking the meds were still working and it just made me insecure. Instead of "bald" jokes you just get "balding" jokes instead. I dropped the treatments because after a while they lose effectiveness and looking back I wish I had just accepted it from the start like I do now.
I've said it before, its much less stressful and so much better to be a bald man in control than an insecure man trying to fight against his genetics. In the long run your son will just need to accept it so he will need to cross that bridge sooner or later. There is no reason he cant by happy even with hair loss. A lot of people who cant let it go think its the end of the world and they make themselves miserable as a result when all they need to do is accept who they are and move on.
Im not saying it wont be tough for him, but what I am saying is, at the end of the day when he accepts who he is, he's going to be just fine. Its better to be the bald guy who's smiling instead of the insecure guy who's looking at his shoes.

I totally agree with you. A man trying to cover up his baldness is just pretending to be someone which he is not. Baldness is nothing to be ashamed of. You are what you are.

[burtandernie]

Well I would just argue none of the existing treatments work that well period. You can try 40 different things or propecia but the fact is even with those over the years your probably still going to slowly keep balding.
Just need better treatments. CB 03 01 might make MPB history in a few years if it can stop MPB and a powerful enough AA certainly can. Its just a waiting game because some years from now MPB will be much less a problem then it is now

[Thinning@30]

The reality is that there is very little that can be done for hair loss in this day and age. Your son can try finasteride and minoxidil, but they are stop loss measures at best. They lose effectiveness over time, they don't work for everyone, and for some people, they can have terrible side effects.

If your son is destined to go bald, I think one of the key things you can do for him is to examine your own reactions to baldness. You want to build his confidence not destroy his self esteem. Do you ridicule men with hair loss? If so, stop. If you discuss hair loss at all, be careful not to make it sound like it is a terrible thing. Talk about it like it's no big deal and just something that happens to most men as they get older. If there are bald celebrities you find attractive, such as Patrick Stewart or Jason Statham, figure out ways to casually mention this in conversations in front of your son. Better yet, do this with any bald men you know personally that you find attractive. I think it will do your son a lot of good if the women in his life reinforce the message that "bald is beautiful," and not something to be ashamed of or something that will render him "damaged goods" in the eyes of women. If he needs to lose weight or dress better, don't tell him this directly, but praise him when he does go to the gym or dresses well or does other things to improve his appearance. For bald men, I think confidence is key. You want to do whatever you can to build it up.

[Notcoolanymore]

Just make it a habit of going out with your son and whenever you see a bald guy, tell your son how hot you think that bald guy is.

Joking, but on a serious note, the treatments we have today are not the best. But they are something and for some they can work wonders. Your son is going bald and I guarantee if you know it, he does, and by some of his comments that you have said he has made about it, he cares. Make him a dermatologist appt. and let him discuss treatment options with a professional. Your comment about the doctor that mentioned fin causes cancer, I am sure there are many more that would say that guy if full of it. Take him to see a Dr. and let him make his own decision on whether he wants to treat his hair loss. Being kind and acting like life will be ok might end up hurting him in the long run.

[baldozer]

The reality is that there is very little that can be done for hair loss in this day and age. Your son can try finasteride and minoxidil, but they are stop loss measures at best. They lose effectiveness over time, they don't work for everyone, and for some people, they can have terrible side effects.

If your son is destined to go bald, I think one of the key things you can do for him is to examine your own reactions to baldness. You want to build his confidence not destroy his self esteem. Do you ridicule men with hair loss? If so, stop. If you discuss hair loss at all, be careful not to make it sound like it is a terrible thing. Talk about it like it's no big deal and just something that happens to most men as they get older. If there are bald celebrities you find attractive, such as Patrick Stewart or Jason Statham, figure out ways to casually mention this in conversations in front of your son. Better yet, do this with any bald men you know personally that you find attractive. I think it will do your son a lot of good if the women in his life reinforce the message that "bald is beautiful," and not something to be ashamed of or something that will render him "damaged goods" in the eyes of women. If he needs to lose weight or dress better, don't tell him this directly, but praise him when he does go to the gym or dresses well or does other things to improve his appearance. For bald men, I think confidence is key. You want to do whatever you can to build it up.

From what she has posted, she does think of baldness as something terrible and consider bald men as inferior. Nothing surprising here, as most women nowadays are fixated with looks and outer appearance. They spend all their lives trying to appear sexy.

[35YrsAfter]

I'm the Mother of a 20 year old boy who is going bald!! I noticed it a bit over the summer on the back crown area but didn't say anything. When he was home from college over Thanksgiving though, he said he's noticing thinning at the crown but wasn't hugely concerned as he thinks he'll be 40 before it gets really going. The unbelievable thing is that he's home now for Christmas and I think it's now thinning not just in the back, but now progressing to the middle of his top head - how can this have advanced so in just a month?! I'm just sick over this - he's just too young and he's such a good kid -I don't want to have him suffer with this at this age. I come from a long line of full-haired men but my husband's brother and his son went very bald early, and I have to think that this is where it came from. This is messed-up thinking but I'm almost angry with my husband for passing this on - my other son also has another type of problem that my husband's family has and I at least thought this boy would be safe from the flawed genetics, but very unfortunately not. I haven't said anything to my son as I don't want to worry him and I know it greatly would. I'm thinking I should bring him to a dermatologist for a confirmation and then maybe get him on rogaine. He makes his own decisions but I would say propecia is a last resort. I'm not wealthy but nothing is more important to me than the well-being of my kids, so I'm prepared to pay for a hair transplant down the road if he wants it. I realize this isn't a horrible illness, but the mental effects on such a young person can be just as devastating. Any suggestions or words of wisdom??

I began noticing my own hair loss when i was 15! There are far more options for young men dealing with this today. Another plus in today's culture is a wider acceptance of bald men. I have a friend who is a Norwood 6 who just shaves his head. He knows I work for Dr. Cole and has no interest in doing anything about his hair loss. I have never known anyone in my life, hair or no hair more popular with women either. To me the bottom line is how hair loss affects individual men. To some it feels like a death sentence, to others it's mildly annoying and to a few it's a non-issue. To me it was like the end of my life, so I went the hair restoration surgery route. Unfortunately the technology back then was poor and my result looked unnatural. There have been great advancements in the slowing of hair loss and I have a gut feeling a near cure is right around the corner. Please try to encourage your son. I survived my own hair loss beginning at 15. I have a great family and I'm mostly a positive and happy person.

35YrsAfter works at Dr. Cole's office in Alpharetta, GA