I'm so devastated for my son

[sighsigh]

Well, I'm going to give you my perspective as a male who just turned 21.

1. I'd be really, really surprised if your son isn't extremely concerned about his own balding. He’s clearly noticed it, and he probably noticed it a long time before commenting about it to you. Losing hair is a traumatizing experience for men. Especially a young man who wants to pursue his romantic options.

2. He most likely doesn't feel comfortable talking about his hairloss problem with you, because it is a personal issue that is emasculating. When I first noticed some hair loss I didn't talk to my mother at all about it for this reason, even though we are close. I did everything myself: doing the research, going to the doctor, and paying for the mediciation. Nobody currently knows I'm on it.

3. I'd say the best thing you can do is tell your son that you will support him 100% if he decides to tackle hair loss. Tell him you will drive him to the doctor, pay for the medication, or whatever. He will appreciate that, even if he doesn’t feel comfortable talking about hairloss with you in any sort of detail.

Btw, I personally recommend finasteride. I've been on it about 6 months with no side effects.

[Assemblage23]

I dont fully agree with what the previous poster said, he might still be in denial I didnt accept I was going to become bald until I went past NW2 and I sure am not the only one

[muchtooyoung]

Wow - I'm surprised my rambling post has generated this much interest. I truly mean it when I say that I never noticed if a guy had hair before - - I really just noticed their face/body/dress/general way they present themselves. I don't find bald men unattractive - a guy isn't about his hair, and I'll convey this to my son when the time comes. I'm crushed for him though because he's too damn young to be dealing with this and because I know he'll be so pained by it. As a Mother, you don't want your kid to suffer any kind of pain. He's my baby and I'll probably be protective of him until I die. If he were okay with being bald, I'd be okay BUT I KNOW HE WON'T BE based on a question I asked him when he first brought it to my attention in November. I asked him how he'd feel if he lost his hair in his 20s and he said it would be the worst thing possible. Based on what I read on this site, I'm not a fan of propecia but everyone except one said to get him on it - - I don't recall the name of the 20 year old who said don't take it but if he's reading this, why?? I'm going to educate myself and calmly, nonjudgementally lay it out for my son when he's home next, even if I'm sick about it inside...

[Kayman]

Wow - I'm surprised my rambling post has generated this much interest. I truly mean it when I say that I never noticed if a guy had hair before - - I really just noticed their face/body/dress/general way they present themselves. I don't find bald men unattractive - a guy isn't about his hair, and I'll convey this to my son when the time comes. I'm crushed for him though because he's too damn young to be dealing with this and because I know he'll be so pained by it. As a Mother, you don't want your kid to suffer any kind of pain. He's my baby and I'll probably be protective of him until I die. If he were okay with being bald, I'd be okay BUT I KNOW HE WON'T BE based on a question I asked him when he first brought it to my attention in November. I asked him how he'd feel if he lost his hair in his 20s and he said it would be the worst thing possible. Based on what I read on this site, I'm not a fan of propecia but everyone except one said to get him on it - - I don't recall the name of the 20 year old who said don't take it but if he's reading this, why?? I'm going to educate myself and calmly, nonjudgementally lay it out for my son when he's home next, even if I'm sick about it inside...

It will be because of the side effects. What propecia does is it effects hormones in the system and the side effects can consist of erectile dysfunction, watery semen, reduced ejaculation, lower libido, anxiety, depression, brain fog, not everyone gets these sides although there are cases of even after the medicine is stopped the side effects continue, there is a forum for those who continue to suffer the sides long after they stopped taking the drug. It is however the best possible treatment against hair loss. Your son will have to stop taking the drug temporarily if he tries to have kids with his partner in the future. That being said some people don't suffer side effects at all or at least don't notice that they do.
Like I said before, if he's losing hair it will one day go, treatments or no treatments, and surgery imo is not a route to go down due to cost of multiple surgeries and scarring. Hair loss isn't the end of the world, its just a fact of life. If he shaves his head tell him it suits him, he looks sharp, thats what he should continue to do. After I bought a set of clippers all my troubles and anxietys simply disappeared

[Marshmalo]

I think the question you need to ask is whether or not your son actually cares enough to do anything about it?

My brother started going bald at 20 and my mum tried to help him out by buying Regain but he just didn't really care, some guys don't even care their going bald which is fine for them.

I'm obviously not one of those guys, hence why I'm here.

[BigThinker]

Flawed genetics? Perhaps you should start a revolutionary eugenics or genocide group that could wipe the bald fascists off the face of the earth for good.

Haha. Right? I'm sure the husband would appreciate that.

[35YrsAfter]

I'm the Mother of a 20 year old boy who is going bald!! I noticed it a bit over the summer on the back crown area but didn't say anything. When he was home from college over Thanksgiving though, he said he's noticing thinning at the crown but wasn't hugely concerned as he thinks he'll be 40 before it gets really going. The unbelievable thing is that he's home now for Christmas and I think it's now thinning not just in the back, but now progressing to the middle of his top head - how can this have advanced so in just a month?! I'm just sick over this - he's just too young and he's such a good kid -I don't want to have him suffer with this at this age. I come from a long line of full-haired men but my husband's brother and his son went very bald early, and I have to think that this is where it came from. This is messed-up thinking but I'm almost angry with my husband for passing this on - my other son also has another type of problem that my husband's family has and I at least thought this boy would be safe from the flawed genetics, but very unfortunately not. I haven't said anything to my son as I don't want to worry him and I know it greatly would. I'm thinking I should bring him to a dermatologist for a confirmation and then maybe get him on rogaine. He makes his own decisions but I would say propecia is a last resort. I'm not wealthy but nothing is more important to me than the well-being of my kids, so I'm prepared to pay for a hair transplant down the road if he wants it. I realize this isn't a horrible illness, but the mental effects on such a young person can be just as devastating. Any suggestions or words of wisdom??

I began noticing my own hair loss when i was 15! There are far more options for young men dealing with this today. Another plus in today's culture is a wider acceptance of bald men. I have a friend who is a Norwood 6 who just shaves his head. He knows I work for Dr. Cole and has no interest in doing anything about his hair loss. I have never known anyone in my life, hair or no hair more popular with women either. To me the bottom line is how hair loss affects individual men. To some it feels like a death sentence, to others it's mildly annoying and to a few it's a non-issue. To me it was like the end of my life, so I went the hair restoration surgery route. Unfortunately the technology back then was poor and my result looked unnatural. There have been great advancements in the slowing of hair loss and I have a gut feeling a near cure is right around the corner. Please try to encourage your son. I survived my own hair loss beginning at 15. I have a great family and I'm mostly a positive and happy person.

35YrsAfter works at Dr. Cole's office in Alpharetta, GA

[tgajr]

Remember

There is no need to be devastated about any of this.

Its whats inside a man's head that counts not whats on it!

[lalala]

There is no need to be devastated about any of this.

Its whats inside a man's head that counts not whats on it!

Yeah, and that's why you're posting on a HAIR LOSS FORUM

[BigThinker]

Yeah, and that's why you're posting on a HAIR LOSS FORUM

You can be concerned and proactive about your hairloss without being devastated by it, and discussing it on a hairloss forum doesn't necessarily equal devastation.

[tgajr]

Yeah, and that's why you're posting on a HAIR LOSS FORUM

Is there a better place to promote a positive outlook on being bald or not being DEVASTATED by it?

[Aames]

Is there a better place to promote a positive outlook on being bald or not being DEVASTATED by it?

Unless positivity can help me maintain my hair, I'm not interested.

[lalala]

Is there a better place to promote a positive outlook on being bald or not being DEVASTATED by it?

My point is you're a hypocrite. You're telling a guy who is depressed about his hair loss to not be depressed and maintain a positive outlook while, at the same time, you have gone so far as to set up an account and post on a hair loss forum yourself. I would be willing to bet that the reason you took that step is because you too were depressed about your hair loss. If you truly were positive about it you never would have wasted the time setting up an account here. You simply wouldn't care.

[tgajr]

My point is you're a hypocrite. You're telling a guy who is depressed about his hair loss to not be depressed and maintain a positive outlook while, at the same time, you have gone so far as to set up an account and post on a hair loss forum yourself. I would be willing to bet that the reason you took that step is because you too were depressed about your hair loss. If you truly were positive about it you never would have wasted the time setting up an account here. You simply wouldn't care.

I understand how you feel. I will be the first to say if I could snap my fingers and have my hair back I would do it. And yes I do miss it. But I am only trying to get a true message across. If someone is a good, decent, hard working person then there is little to be devastated about.

My brother is autistic, but with lots of hair. I am working on a PhD and am bald.

Charles Manson has lots of hair, and look at whats inside his head.

Take your pick.

Its whats in your head that counts, not whats on it!

Attempting to reverse or deal with your hair loss is just fine, and understandable. There is just no need for devastation.

[jgold]

The reason I said don't take propecia is because I think it is too risky and I wish I hadn't taken it. I took it because I started losing my hair at 17 and when 18 came around I couldn't handle it emotionally, so I took the risk. Propecia helped 100% to maintain and regrow significantly, but it decreased my sex drive so much I just couldn't be on it anymore. It not only decreased my drive to have sex, but the normal thoughts just weren't there, and I actually think it messed with my brain functioning - I know, kind of weird but scientifically speaking DHT plays a big role in a mans body and mind. I took it for about a 7 months then got off it for about 7 months then got on it for a year and now I'm off of it again.

I am still completely devastated by my hair loss however Propecia was a dead end for me. I'm probably more devastated than most because I have a bit of BDD, but I only have it about my hairloss. A thing to note is that most people who take propecia are older and being so young and taking it I personally think is riskier and there is a far greater chance of it effecting you negatively. I think that the studies about it are bs when they say it's safe, in my personal opinion.

I can't tell you what to do. I would say to stay away from propecia. I have tried to find something else that is effective, but I have failed. Hopefully your son will have the strength to not give a shit and not let this effect him. I apologize for the dismal response, but this is just my reality.