The girl I was after....

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  • sausage
    Senior Member
    • Jan 2012
    • 1064

    The girl I was after....

    So you may have read some of my posts about me trying to build up the courage to ask this girl out I have liked but not seen for years......

    I did it....on Wednesday.....and it was a FAIL.

    I messaged her on Facebook, She did not reply at first even though she had come on FB. But I finally got a reply today....it was a nice reply though but she said she was happy being single...which basically means she's not interested cos I have lost my hair.

    Oh well...

    At least its over and done with, I can move on, at least now I won't have regrets that I didn't at least give it a go.

    Maybe I should get henched as much as possible, upload a completely naked photo of me on facebook and see if she enjoys that.
  • clandestine
    Senior Member
    • Aug 2011
    • 2005

    #2
    Originally posted by sausage
    I did it....on Wednesday....
    Nice. Good job.

    Originally posted by sausage
    I finally got a reply today....it was a nice reply though but she said she was happy being single...which basically means she's not interested cos I have lost my hair.
    Try not to make assumptions.

    Originally posted by sausage
    At least its over and done with, I can move on, at least now I won't have regrets that I didn't at least give it a go.
    This is a great attitude, really.

    Kudos to you for garnering the courage to do so, whatever the outcome.

    Comment

    • DepressedByHairLoss
      Senior Member
      • Feb 2011
      • 876

      #3
      Dude, speaking of facebook, that's one thing that really pisses me off: I see a bunch of my friends having a great time on facebook and I feel like I can't go on there because I don't want to post pics of myself where it's noticeable that I'm losing my hair. And it really snuck up on me too. One year, I was posting photos of myself left and right on facebook but the next year I couldn't post any because I felt that my hair loss was way too noticeable. Hair loss really snuck up on me so damn quick.

      Comment

      • sausage
        Senior Member
        • Jan 2012
        • 1064

        #4
        Originally posted by DepressedByHairLoss
        Dude, speaking of facebook, that's one thing that really pisses me off: I see a bunch of my friends having a great time on facebook and I feel like I can't go on there because I don't want to post pics of myself where it's noticeable that I'm losing my hair. And it really snuck up on me too. One year, I was posting photos of myself left and right on facebook but the next year I couldn't post any because I felt that my hair loss was way too noticeable. Hair loss really snuck up on me so damn quick.
        Same, I only got on Facebook a few months ago. I would have got on it years ago but since losing hair I hate having my photo taken and hate seeing photos of me and didn't want to deal with the embarrassment and baldie comments by others on facebook, I didn't want the hot girls that used to like me think 'what has happend to him'. Because of this I feel I have possibly missed out connecting with girls I would potentially have had a chance with.

        I also up to recently could not look at myself in the mirror. For 2 years I did not look at my reflection.

        But recently I have now been able to do so and got on Facebook, I have more of an acceptance of how I look, but still I am devastated at how its ruined my life.

        But looking in the mirror again + getting on facebook + asking a girl out is a huge step forward for me....

        Next step is to get out of my parents house and ask more and more girls out until hopefully I find one that wants me....

        Comment

        • DAVE52
          Senior Member
          • Sep 2010
          • 776

          #5
          Originally posted by sausage
          ....it was a nice reply though but she said she was happy being single...which basically means she's not interested cos I have lost my hair.
          .


          You don't know that

          Comment

          • yeahyeahyeah
            Senior Member
            • Nov 2011
            • 1818

            #6
            Well done saussage. You have done what most guys can't do!

            See it's not that bad!

            The worst a girl can say is No. You can now move onto the next one... It's not scary, and eventually one will say Yes

            Comment

            • sausage
              Senior Member
              • Jan 2012
              • 1064

              #7
              Originally posted by DAVE52


              You don't know that
              Maybe I should ask her.....maybe not, it would devastate me whatever the reason.

              I don't see why she would have not liked me personality wise, even if I seem like a nutty, depressant to people on here, I am fairly normal, easy going guy in actual life around people. I have a degree in a similar subject to her so we have that in common.

              With hair I would say I am at least average.

              The guy she recently split up with was ok looking, I would say I would be better looking than him with hair and I definitely have a better body than him, he had a bit of a belly and matted hair all over his chest.

              So putting all that in place I believe she would have been interested if I had hair.

              Comment

              • yeahyeahyeah
                Senior Member
                • Nov 2011
                • 1818

                #8
                Originally posted by sausage
                Maybe I should ask her.....maybe not, it would devastate me whatever the reason.

                I don't see why she would have not liked me personality wise, even if I seem like a nutty, depressant to people on here, I am fairly normal, easy going guy in actual life around people. I have a degree in a similar subject to her so we have that in common.

                With hair I would say I am at least average.

                The guy she recently split up with was ok looking, I would say I would be better looking than him with hair and I definitely have a better body than him, he had a bit of a belly and matted hair all over his chest.

                So putting all that in place I believe she would have been interested if I had hair.
                A tip for the future:

                never tell a girl over facebook that you like her. The last time I did this (over msn), she rejected me. *I was a NW0*.

                She will react according to how she is feeling at that time about YOU.
                Actually, a better way to do it, is to get a convo going. Flirt with her, and just get her to talk about herself. AND then when you can see her interest levels are high, drop in a suggestion about meeting up alone to do x, y thing together.

                If she agrees to meet up alone, you have a chance.

                Comment

                • sausage
                  Senior Member
                  • Jan 2012
                  • 1064

                  #9
                  Originally posted by yeahyeahyeah
                  A tip for the future:

                  never tell a girl over facebook that you like her. The last time I did this (over msn), she rejected me. *I was a NW0*.

                  She will react according to how she is feeling at that time about YOU.
                  Actually, a better way to do it, is to get a convo going. Flirt with her, and just get her to talk about herself. AND then when you can see her interest levels are high, drop in a suggestion about meeting up alone to do x, y thing together.

                  If she agrees to meet up alone, you have a chance.
                  1. I had no other option but to ask her through Facebook.

                  2. If I had hair I would have asked her personally back when I knew her years ago.

                  3. I doubt that would have made much difference, not sure why she took 3 days to reply, when she had been on facebook on the wednesday night as she posted something on her wall. Maybe she thought about it for a few days.

                  4. She came out of a relationship a few months back and I can tell she likes being single but still....if someone is interested in you and asks you out that is at least average looking and normal then your going to meet up surely. I would anyway.

                  Comment

                  • yeahyeahyeah
                    Senior Member
                    • Nov 2011
                    • 1818

                    #10
                    Originally posted by sausage
                    1. I had no other option but to ask her through Facebook.
                    Sure, just dont tell her you like her. Get chatty, flirt a bit, then ask her out. By that dont do "I like you lets hang out", rather "hey lets check out x thing together"

                    2. If I had hair I would have asked her personally back when I knew her years ago.
                    Good for you on trying anyway. BTW even with hair, men get rejected. Attractive men that is - I have been. What Norwood level are you?

                    3. I doubt that would have made much difference, not sure why she took 3 days to reply, when she had been on facebook on the wednesday night as she posted something on her wall. Maybe she thought about it for a few days.
                    Girls always do this. Or for that point guys do it too (but you take less notice of it) Has happened to me many many times.

                    It might be because they are thinking about what to write back.
                    It could be because they haven't got around to writing back.

                    Don't read too much into it. You will drive yourself nuts.

                    The main thing is that she replied. She couldn't have. Happened to me LOADS of times.

                    4. She came out of a relationship a few months back and I can tell she likes being single but still....if someone is interested in you and asks you out that is at least average looking and normal then your going to meet up surely. I would anyway.
                    Depends on how you do it.

                    If it is a blatent lets hang out, without any real bonding done, with your cards out on the table. Then yeah, chances of being rejected is higher.

                    The problems with conveying your interest too early, is that girls especially love having what they cant get. You are too available, they get bored and go nah.

                    Comment

                    • john2399
                      Senior Member
                      • Jan 2012
                      • 527

                      #11
                      Well what picture did you have on facebook? Did it show you have hairloss?

                      Comment

                      • sausage
                        Senior Member
                        • Jan 2012
                        • 1064

                        #12
                        Originally posted by yeahyeahyeah
                        Sure, just dont tell her you like her. Get chatty, flirt a bit, then ask her out. By that dont do "I like you lets hang out", rather "hey lets check out x thing together"
                        I see what your saying, I thought about that for one millisecond and was like no I can't be bothered with that, I see some guys click the 'like' button on her photos, or post 'looking hot'. I could have done that but thought no I'll just write a decent written message asking how she is etc, and if she would be interested in meeting up. I was also concerned that if I tried having conversations with her before I told her I liked her that she may not be that communicative and just blow my confidence and I'd never be able to ask her out.

                        Comment

                        • sausage
                          Senior Member
                          • Jan 2012
                          • 1064

                          #13
                          Originally posted by john2399
                          Well what picture did you have on facebook? Did it show you have hairloss?
                          Yepp.

                          I am also doing an experiment at the moment, I have joined a dating site, but not officially a member on it so not paying anything but you get updates everyday of who has favorited you and I had a bald pic of me up for a month and I got a whole massive 1 favourite. I have no put a pic up of me with a hat on and I have already got a favourite after just a few days.......

                          Comment

                          • yeahyeahyeah
                            Senior Member
                            • Nov 2011
                            • 1818

                            #14
                            Originally posted by sausage
                            I see what your saying, I thought about that for one millisecond and was like no I can't be bothered with that, I see some guys click the 'like' button on her photos, or post 'looking hot'. I could have done that but thought no I'll just write a decent written message asking how she is etc, and if she would be interested in meeting up. I was also concerned that if I tried having conversations with her before I told her I liked her that she may not be that communicative and just blow my confidence and I'd never be able to ask her out.
                            By telling her that you like her, puts her:

                            a) on the spot
                            and
                            b) does not separate you from the other guys who call her hot.

                            At least by getting to know her a bit there is a chance you may grow onto her. Womens feelings are volatile like this.

                            Comment

                            • Sogeking
                              Senior Member
                              • Feb 2011
                              • 497

                              #15
                              Well when you are trying to ask a woman out you should definetly do it in person. Not over a facebook, SMS, email or a letter. Why?
                              Well it is not personal and the woman in question can judge you over your looks alone.
                              Sure some women will turn you down because of the MPBB, some will not. But if you are a good guy and have a good character then in person you can atleast make it hard for them.

                              Not to mention that you can watch her reactions, body language and eye contact which can tell you a lot.

                              Sausage I am in the same position as you are. Since my hair loss started I haven't even tried. You at least tried.
                              I had horrible luck with women before my hair loss so hair loss just made it worse.
                              But who knows maybe both of us will get lucky some day. And the only way to do that is try. And you tried...

                              Comment

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