I don't know what to do - BaldTruthTalk.com
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  1. #1
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    Default I don't know what to do

    Hello,

    Shit, where do I start? My name is Sammy. I'm barely 20 years old and experiencing hair loss. My mother's father and brother are both bald; I know that it's male pattern baldness. We're not really close with her side of the family and I actually live with my father's parents. My father is not bald. My grandfather is not bald. Other than my maternal grandfather and uncle (who live on the other side of the country) I don't think I've ever met a bald man. I grew up in San Diego, California which is one of the most beautiful places with some of the most beautiful in the world. (I have literally never seen a bald guy in San Diego) I have an amazing group of friends from high school (all of them are pretty good looking guys;no homo) none of whom are experiencing any signs of this (and probably won't until it's socially acceptable). I love my life, and I think baldness might actually take it from me. I worked hard to have the friends I have, to appeal to girls, and to generally have people have good opinions of me.

    And that's the thing I love my life, but if nothing works, I'm probably gonna lose it all. And I can't emphasize enough I worked HARD. It's not that I think I don't deserve this, it's that I think I deserve better than this.

    Anyway, I want people to be straight with me about this. I will literally STOP AT NOTHING to save the illusion that I have hair. I would castrate myself (maybe not both balls, but for sure the right one) if I knew it would work. I'm down to do propecia if it means I never have children. Nothing means more to me than this.

    That being said, I'm considering skipping all the treatment and going straight to a wig. I feel like this might make the most sense actually because people are less likely to notice it when I'm younger, mostly because they wouldn't believe it's happening in the first place and I also wear a lot of hats. And even if people do notice it, at least over time they may get used to it and accept me for it. I mean, everyone knows John Travolta wears a hair piece and has for years but he's still John Travolta. I also feel like I could maybe get a few of them to trick myself into thinking I'm tricking other people into thinking my hair is growing and getting cut.

    I should probably mention that my parents assured me they will also stop at nothing to help me, and are rather wealthy people (really not trying to brag, but this is kinda relevant)

    Any advice about this would be awesome! As I said, I don't think I've ever met a bald man in San Diego, but maybe I just didn't notice he was wearing hairpieces or had a transplant. If so, that'd be dope and really make me feel good haha. If you shaved you're head, you're a braver (and probably strait up better) man than me but I just can't do that.

    Thank you guys and have a fantastic day! If you're struggling with this you don't deserve it. I bet you are all truly incredible people and nobody deserves this.

    Much Love,
    Sammy
    Last edited by willstopatnothing; 02-07-2016 at 12:55 PM. Reason: oh my god so didn't mean to say that

  2. #2
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    Come on, I really need some help and support here guys. If you didn't read between the lines I'll die before I go bald take that for what you will. I really need some help or advice. I honestly think eventually people may accept me for being bald, but I can't accept myself for probably about 15-20 years. I can't stress enough I am willing to do anything. literally anything. (dyes, shampoos, surgery, anything I don't care about side effects) This is where I'm making my stand I'm gonna live life on my own terms. I heard dying your hair blonde or part blonde can really help as well.

  3. #3
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    Hey man welcome,
    Do you have any pictures so we can better assess your situation? Don't know about wigs man, that is an enormous commitment and a LOT of hassle.

  4. #4
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    Hey James thanks so much for responding!

    I would honestly prefer not to post pictures but right now because nobody in my life has noticed yet and my mother and father were very surprised when I told them because they hadn't noticed. I'm progressing from a NW2 (which I used a bradley cooper type hairstyle with curlier hair to hide the temples) to a NW3 so I'm getting to the point where I will not be able to hide it any more. I didn't even tell my family until a couple days ago because of what my father and grandfather would think. My mom is flying out to my college and we're gonna go together to a dermatologist but from what I hear and read almost everyone that does the drugs ends up progressing to a transplant and eventually to a wig so I feel like part of what makes it so noticable and stigmatized is that people aren't used to it and the hair is constantly changing from the different treatments.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by willstopatnothing View Post
    Hey James thanks so much for responding!

    I would honestly prefer not to post pictures but right now because nobody in my life has noticed yet and my mother and father were very surprised when I told them because they hadn't noticed. I'm progressing from a NW2 (which I used a bradley cooper type hairstyle with curlier hair to hide the temples) to a NW3 so I'm getting to the point where I will not be able to hide it any more. I didn't even tell my family until a couple days ago because of what my father and grandfather would think. My mom is flying out to my college and we're gonna go together to a dermatologist but from what I hear and read almost everyone that does the drugs ends up progressing to a transplant and eventually to a wig so I feel like part of what makes it so noticable and stigmatized is that people aren't used to it and the hair is constantly changing from the different treatments.
    this is not accurate my friend. Most people take the drugs and undergo transplants to avoid the wig, and if done right, never have to wear a wig for the rest of their lives. If hair is that important to you, every one will tell you the same thing on here - consider asking your derm about finasteride (propecia) and minoxidil. also get a solid anti-inflammatory shampoo like nizoral (ketoconazol) to keep your scalp healthy. that's about all aside from experimental drugs like ru58841.

    IF you sustain your hair on these medications, then a transplant when your older could be possible. You could even consider wearing a system while you're on the medications... that way, every so often you get it removed and reattached, you can re-evaluate your hair loss. IF jumping straight into a hair system makes you most comfortable, then I give you props for having the balls and patience. If not, consider the medications. good luck bro

  6. #6
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    Hey Sammy,

    I'm sorry you have been noticing hairloss and that you're struggling. Like James said, I think we can be of better assistance if you post some photos of your hair and tell us more details about your hair loss. I don't know how much you have lost, but don't be embarassed to show us if you've lost a lot already, or lost so little that you'll all make us jealous for noticing it so early. Maybe you don't have MPB - at your age maybe you're just noticing a maturing hairline. Having baldness on your mother's side of the family puts you at risk but it's definitely not a 100% certainty you have MPB. I know lots of guys my age (23) who are balding and have a brother who is not.

    None of us know and really care about each other's lives except for the hair loss part, we're all in the same boat so you don't have to hide this from us. I understand the feeling of shame and being alone, but you will really feel much better if you open up about it. I see you already talked to your parents and that they have the resources and are willing to help you - that's fantastic!

    One thing I would advise you is to forget about giving up your real hair right off the bat and going for a wig. The thing about baldness is that unless some miracle cure will hit the market within the next 5-10 years, the only treatment option we all have is to maintain the hair that we have. There are treatments on the near horizon (look into Histogen and Replicel) that seem to do a much better job at keeping what you have (perhaps even permanently with Replicel). If you don't try to treat your hair loss now, you won't be able to go back in time if you regret it. The earlier you start, the more you have left to save. Treating your hair now is the most rational and pragmatic decision you could make to prevent future regrets. If you end up going for a wig (which I think is a lot of hassle and hard to get to look natural) or end up feeling comfortable shaving later, you can always decide to stop treating it at any point. At least you will keep your options. If you decide to give up now and change your mind later, you can't go back.

    Treating hair loss is doable but difficult, so you don't just need a lot of money - you need to know how to treat it. It's good that you are going to visit a dermatologist together with your mom. That's the first step!

    You probably already read about this, but the most effective treatments at this time (save perhaps any experimental ones that haven't been studied) are oral finasteride (which won't make you infertile, by the way), topical minoxidil and ketocozonale shampoo (also called nizoral). They should work best if you use all three together - they all work in different ways and will compliment each other's results.

    If you respond well to these treatments, and histogen or replicel or another company will come through with an effective treatment in the next 3-5 years then you might not ever have to go completely bald, or even noticably so. You're so young, and lucky to have been born now. You will have access to much better treatment than your maternal uncle and grandfather will ever have. Don't give up the fight!

    I know it's hard to stay positive sometimes. I notice ups and downs in how I feel, and now having a good/bad hairday has a lot more effect on my disposition than it used to (and the good ones are slightly fewer). But you have to remember that every time you feel down about your hair loss, it's just a feeling and feelings pass. How you feel at any moment doesn't define you as a person. You will just have to accept that sometimes you feel shitty, be it about your hairloss or other things in life, but this feeling will always pass. To quote Monica from Friends: "Welcome to the real world! It sucks - you're gonna love it."

    Try not to think of baldness as such a taboo subject. Although I doubt you're really the only person in San Diego with MPB, it can be difficult to deal with if you feel like you're the only one in your social circle. Just remember that it's sometimes hard to notice at your age, so it could very well be that some of your male friends have MPB without you or even themselves knowing it. I know how that feels as I am the only one of my former high school and university friends (now they're just my friends I guess) who is dealing with hair loss (AFAIK). That being said I don't think they have noticed mine yet. Also, I have worked as a fashion model for the past 3,5 years and all of my model friends, as you can probably guess, have amazing hair and no recession. When I go to castings 95% of the guys there have better hair than me, and if I don't treat it then in 2-5 years that would probably be closer to a 100%. That can be a little confronting sometimes. Also the fact that my hair is just about to get noticably worse than my 60 year old father's is difficult to accept.

    But really, there are a lot of men who deal with this, so you're not alone and it's not a taboo. Don't think you're worth a dime less than anyone who doesn't have hair loss. From your writing you seem like a smart, kind and well-mannered man. I know losing your hair sucks and you're allowed to feel bad about it, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to fight it, but don't let it bring you down. For reasons I stated earlier, your odds at beating this thing in this day and age and with your resources are good and there are plenty of reasons to stay positive.

  7. #7
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    Really can't say how much I appriciate this post! You made me feel A LOT better.

    Just to update you guys, I'll be seeing a derm on Wednesday with my mom (hopefully start treatment ASAP). But I'm also gonna get a second opinion when I'm back in San Diego for spring break. I really would post pictures after reading these responses, but my photo booth on my computer isn't working so I can't right now. But if it starts working again I will for sure.

    By the way I was reading online today and found out Wayne Rooney of Man U had a hair transplant at like 22/23 (which I know doctor's say is a no go usually). He has to get another one now because he continued to bald but I honestly think if he didn't tell people about the first one (he posted pics on twitter) most wouldn't have noticed until he clearly needed another one. More than 1 transplant is something I'm completely comfortable with so I'm wondering if I should try to find a doctor that will do one on a 20 year old.

    Thanks again and much love,
    Sammy

  8. #8
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    Sammy, I'm sorry this has hit you so hard. You're going through a lot of emotions that I myself, and a lot of the people here have felt.

    I have always belonged to a popular crowd and have always been in and around good looking friends and girls, I know how it feels to feel a part of that and then worry it'll vanish.

    Just stay calm, I'll keep it short for you rather than write an essay. Propecia has to be the best bet. It is the only ligit drug atm. There are many ways to take it; micro dose, daily etc but it is your best bet to maintain. That has to be your priority. Once you have stopped or severely slowed further loss you will feel a lot more in control and relaxed about this.

    You're young, I know it feels like life won't be worth living if things don't go your way, but whatever happens, you have a loving family and I promise, you will adjust.

    Relax, take control, and just wait to see what happens.

    Good luck brother.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by willstopatnothing View Post
    Really can't say how much I appriciate this post! You made me feel A LOT better.

    Just to update you guys, I'll be seeing a derm on Wednesday with my mom (hopefully start treatment ASAP). But I'm also gonna get a second opinion when I'm back in San Diego for spring break. I really would post pictures after reading these responses, but my photo booth on my computer isn't working so I can't right now. But if it starts working again I will for sure.

    By the way I was reading online today and found out Wayne Rooney of Man U had a hair transplant at like 22/23 (which I know doctor's say is a no go usually). He has to get another one now because he continued to bald but I honestly think if he didn't tell people about the first one (he posted pics on twitter) most wouldn't have noticed until he clearly needed another one. More than 1 transplant is something I'm completely comfortable with so I'm wondering if I should try to find a doctor that will do one on a 20 year old.

    Thanks again and much love,
    Sammy
    Glad I could help!

    Regarding the hair transplant. I think most doctors will err on the side of caution at your age, since you never know how much further your hair loss will progress. Getting multiple hair transplants if definitely a possibility (read about Spex' hair loss story at spexhair.com, he must have had about a dozen hair transplants and I think his hair looks amazing, especially considering how much he had already lost when he started) but obviously your hair supply is not limitless so if you get one now then maybe in 5, 10 or 20 years your hair loss will start catch up on you and your donor area will be depleted (given there's no other cure; I'm feeling pretty positive about the future but it is by no means certain yet).

    I think most surgeons will advise you to get on finasteride for a year, maybe a few years, so that you can get a better understanding at what rate your hair loss progresses and what kind of hair transplant goals are feasible. One thing I didn't mention in my original post is if you're thinking of a hair transplant, go to the iahrs.org because they have a list of top surgeons that specialize in hair transplants and AFAIK everyone agrees that these are the best of the best. Even if you're not eligible for a HT yet, it's always worth a shot to go with a consult and have them give you more advice. They will know what is best for you!

    I hope everything will go well at the dermatologist!

    Best wishes!

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