Reconsidering my position on reproducing with the balding gene

[25 going on 65]

I wouldn't trade places with him and I know none of us would either I'm just trying to say that his family reproduced with the baldness gene, and he reproduced despite not having excellent genetics and it all turned out ok. If you're bald, and you find a woman you like, and she wants to have kids with you, then you must have turned out ok and your kid will be alright too.

His son is a kid, we will not know if he is ok for years. Most likely he will start balding when he is young but will not have his father's money to make up for it. Unless his dad gives it to him....which he should since his son will probably need it for a lifetime of meds + surgeries

If you're bald, and you find a woman you like, and she wants to have kids with you, then you must have turned out ok and your kid will be alright too.

Isnt this a very low standard for "ok"?

[J_B_Davis]

Isnt this a very low standard for "ok"?

These are the cards we’ve been dealt and there are far worse hands to be stuck playing in this world. There is no such thing as a “low standard” of ok, OK is OK! All that matters is if we are ok with ourselves and the people who we are fortunate to share out lives with.

Most people in this world probably possess what you would consider to be “bad” genetics, yet these people find happiness and success in life. They get married and start families and accomplish great things. There will always be the sad sacks who blame the world or their “bad" genetics or their parents or whatever for the failures in life. They will spend all of their time feeling sorry for themselves and in the end grow old accomplishing nothing. It's a sad way to live.

[35YrsAfter]

There will always be the sad sacks who blame the world or their “bad" genetics or their parents or whatever for the failures in life. They will spend all of their time feeling sorry for themselves and in the end grow old accomplishing nothing. It's a sad way to live.

I know someone exactly like that. He has a full head of hair and a negative attitude that has poisoned his life and the lives of people around him. When we really think about it, most everyone has a lot to be thankful for. I attended a wedding last Saturday where all types of people attended. The groom appeared to have a full head of hair with a low hairline and all, but he had significant hair loss in the back. Most men past 40 have some hair loss. Women have come to accept that for the most part. About 60% of the men attending the wedding had hair loss to some degree. I mentioned before, that all the men who work for Dr. Cole have hair loss. Dr. Cole never had any hair loss.



35YrsAfter also posts as CITNews and works at Dr. Cole's office
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email 35YrsAfter at chuck@forhair.com
The contents of my posts are my opinions and not medical advice
Please feel free to call or email me with any questions. Ask for Chuck

[hellouser]

I know someone exactly like that. He has a full head of hair and a negative attitude that has poisoned his life and the lives of people around him. When we really think about it, most everyone has a lot to be thankful for. I attended a wedding last Saturday where all types of people attended. The groom appeared to have a full head of hair with a low hairline and all, but he had significant hair loss in the back. Most men past 40 have some hair loss. Women have come to accept that for the most part. About 60% of the men attending the wedding had hair loss to some degree. I mentioned before, that all the men who work for Dr. Cole have hair loss. Dr. Cole never had any hair loss.

Try being in your twenties and the only balding guy in your social group... then we'll see how accepting people around you are of your baldness.

[Joan]

I agree with Hellouser. I'm a woman losing my hair (seeing a therapist due to the depression it's causing me), but watching my 18-year-old son lose his is a million times worse than what I'm going through. I'd sacrifice every hair on my head if I could stave off his hair loss at least another 20 years. I feel so guilty for passing this gene on to him--what was I thinking? I truly feel for all of you and share the same negative thoughts that many express here (actually my feelings may even be worse).

[fred970]

Thank you Joan. Unfortunately, women our age will never understand our plague unless they go through it themselves like you did, which is unlikely to happen for most of them.

Until then, they will continue to tell us to man up and that it is just hair. And if we try to do something about it (medication, hair transplant, etc.), we're even more pathetic to them and society in general.

I'm not talking about all women of course, but I'm talking about the random woman, the one you take randomly in the crowd will be more likely to behave like that than to be compassionate and understanding, especially in the US apparently, but they're getting there here in Europe too.

[Joan]

So true, Fred. Not one of you here is pathetic. I know I'm much older than you guys (51), but seriously, I do not feel or look (at least that's what everyone tells me--I even got carded in the package store the other day!) my age. My mindset is so much younger. But I will say in all honesty that if I weren't married, I wouldn't care less whether or not a guy had hair. That wouldn't even enter into the picture as far as my attraction to him. Unfortunately, probably many younger women (myself included 30 years ago) feel differently. I was married previously and got divorced when I was 28. I took it very badly and spent two lonely years with no social life. That changed me drastically, making me much less focused on appearances and more focused on things that should have been important to me all along. Baldness would have meant nothing to me the second time around, and I'm sure there are young women who feel that way too.

[fred970]

At least you are honest, you just admitted you wouldn't have given a balding guy a second look when your were young.

The thing is, none of us want to wait for those women to have an enlightenment like you had, I'm sure we'd all like women in their prime. You'll reckon that at 30, you were less likely to attract attractive men (that means with hair) like your could in your early 20's and that you may have lowered your standards, consciously or unconsciously.

That's the problem, we hear things like "don't worry, women won't care when they are older", how is that supposed to make us feel better? We hear "you know girls in their prime won't even give you a chance but when they will be old and used-up, they might consider you because their options have become limited!"

[Joan]

A couple of things. First, I am still attracting, at 51, what I consider to be attractive men, for whatever reason. At 30 I didn't feel as though I lowered my standards because of my age. As I said, the emotional turmoil I had gone through made me focus on qualities of importance rather than the external. I was looking for, and found, a lifetime partner with whom I had much in common, among other things. I think it's ignorant and rude of people to tell you not to worry; women won't care when they're older. Of course you want--and should have--an attractive woman your age. I'm just saying that there are women who have been hurt like I had been who would love a guy who respects and accepts her as she is--just my opinion. I know they are probably far and few in between, but they do exist. I know my son will have a hard time attracting women too, and it breaks my heart.

[fred970]

It's sad we have to wait that women have been emotionally deeply hurt and sometimes broken for them to realise that less attractive (balding) men may be a good option too.

The worst is that those women will often still be in love with their emotionally (and physically) abusive boyfriend.

I'm not talking about you, but I experienced that too many times.

Why can't they get it right the first time and just date a bald guy? Answer: the media, what society tells them, what their female friends tell them, and the fact that women are easily influenced.