Life isn't worth living if you're bald.

[Joan]

First off, Notcoolanymore, so, so true about our perceptions of ourselves, for both men and women, whatever it is we dislike about our appearance. You're the perfect balance between negativity and positivity and always see both sides to every argument.

johnsmith: You're in your late 40s; I'm a bit older at a "young" 52. Just wondering if you're finding it hard to attract women your age, since baldness wouldn't even be on my list of negatives if I were single. Hair or no hair means nothing to me, and I would think most women in their 40s would feel the same. Maybe I'm wrong?

[fred970]

First off, Notcoolanymore, so, so true about our perceptions of ourselves, for both men and women, whatever it is we dislike about our appearance. You're the perfect balance between negativity and positivity and always see both sides to every argument.

johnsmith: You're in your late 40s; I'm a bit older at a "young" 52. Just wondering if you're finding it hard to attract women your age, since baldness wouldn't even be on my list of negatives if I were single. Hair or no hair means nothing to me, and I would think most women in their 40s would feel the same. Maybe I'm wrong?

I don't think he wants anything to do with women his age. By experience, the older the woman I date, the more screwed up in the head she is.

There are exceptions of course, but they only prove the rule.

The exception is the woman who was successful at building a healthy family. So a woman who is not on the dating market anymore.

Most of them are damaged beyond repair with the large number of (NW1) men they've had, the divorces and the children.

In western countries, most of them are fat from psychiatric medication, heavily wrinkled from sun exposure etc.

I think he means women in their late 20's or early 30's. Women with not much baggage.

Some men if they keep themselves fit and keep a NW1, you can look at pictures of them at 30 and 50 and they will more or less look the same.

And there's nothing weird with a man in his 50's dating girls decades younger than him. But that most likely won't happen if the guy is bald.

[johnsmith]

Damn @JohnSmith that is rough.

Since you already live a sheltered empty life why not just get a wig? atleast that way you have the exact same life PLUS some validation in dating/piping woman with your new doo.

Because a wig, or any other partial, fake, or artificial solution doesn't work for me. I would pay very big bucks for the real deal, but I refuse to play the industry's game of applying band-aids to this disease. Either they have a fix, or they don't. There is no middle ground. If they want my money, even one penny of it, the medical community needs to cough up the real deal.

[johnsmith]

This is completely false and just laughable. In fact you're entire post is just verbal diarrhea. Congrats.

Perhaps you're not as good looking as you thought you were in HS than? because in reality if you are a good looking guy and shave your head - then you are still a good looking guy and you will still be seen as attractive by the majority of women out there. Hair does not make you good looking. Facial symmetry and other nice facial features like a strong jaw line, nice face shape, nice eyes etc. is what actually makes a person "good looking".

Your description of yourself in HS was pretty much the same description of myself in HS. I always had the "pretty boy" GQ looks and still do for the most part beyond the hair loss. The hair loss has taken away from my looks some obviously but it's not a deal breaker for women if you truly are an attractive guy.

Now I am wondering how my hideous bald shaven head as you put it is still able to attract young pretty girls.

In fact.. just the other week I was walking through a library and getting checked out by 2 young 20 something's... I myself didn't notice it but was later told so by the person I was with.

I won't give you the same disrespect and vindictive response that you showered me with, but I will note that are here on a hairloss forum, with the rest of us, hoping to better yourself someday. That is quite telling about you, regardless of what you may or may not be willing to admit to the rest of us. In that respect, we're not very different, my friend.

[johnsmith]

I agree mostly with Fred that it is very annoying when people with very little hair loss start preaching acceptance of being bald. They've never experienced true baldness so they do not know how it feels to be ridiculed for it. And if they really believed in true acceptance, they why are they still on a hair loss message forum and doing everything that they possibly can to ensure that themselves do not go bald. Actions speak louder than words and if a person does not practice what they preach, then their words ring hollow.

Excellent points.

[johnsmith]

I have seen this many times where somebody comes here and tries to spread the word that "hair loss isn't a big deal". I appreciate your efforts, but at the end of the day it comes down to how we perceive ourselves. To be honest, I didn't treat my hair loss for years and I never felt like I was being treated any differently than I was before I started losing my hair. Maybe I was ignorant of the whole situation, but I was never preoccupied with how others looked at me. The main problem I had with hair loss is how it made me feel about myself and how I looked. Even now that is my major issue with everything. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I don't care what others think, but more importantly I care what I think about how I look. I like the way I look with hair much more than without it.

Okly, I get what you are trying to do. You are trying to be positive and make the most out of a effed up situation and I respect that. It all comes down to how we feel about ourselves. If we feel we look like crap without hair, there is very little you or anybody else can do to make us feel any different.

Great post. Extremely well stated, my friend. It all comes down to how we see ourselves. When I am wearing a ski-cap, or baseball cap, or hat, I really like what I see, just as I did when I had a full head of hair in my youth and no caps, hats, etc. In contrast, I do not like what I see when I remove the cap, or hat. Yes, I still have handsome facial features, but it pales in comparison to when my baldness is masked.

So, yes, I agree 100%. It is how we see ourselves that matter the most. I have NEVER thought that baldness was attractive on anyone, although I acknowledge, as 0kly stated, that others have a markedly different opinion.

I've been blessed with a lot, including the ability to work from home, having plenty of money, and having good health, aside from the hair loss disease. The hair loss just puts a VERY major damper on life for me because I hate the way it makes me look and I hate the way it saps and crushes my self-confidence and self-esteem. If and when the medical community comes out with a real, legitimate fix AT THE GENETIC LEVEL, I will be all in, I don't care how much it costs, but I am 47 now, and if I get to be much past 55 or so, I doubt I will care at all anymore, so it's not looking too good for the home team, especially this late in the game.

As for the others who like to say, "well, at least you do have this condition, or at least you don't have that condition," yeah, I guess it could always be worse, but I have to wonder why they are here at all, posting, instead of counting their blessings that they don't have "this or that" condition that's worse. It seems very hypocritical to me.

[johnsmith]

johnsmith: You're in your late 40s; I'm a bit older at a "young" 52. Just wondering if you're finding it hard to attract women your age, since baldness wouldn't even be on my list of negatives if I were single. Hair or no hair means nothing to me, and I would think most women in their 40s would feel the same. Maybe I'm wrong?

Hi Joan. Thank you for your insights. What I find is that I dial my own standards WAY BACK. When I see a woman that I am fairly sure would be attracted to me if I had a full head of hair, I immediately find myself wondering why she would be interested in me beyond my money, ability to provide for her, other admirable qualities, etc. I see baldness as something she would have to "look beyond", which is a major downer. So, I end up lowering my standards, and still, it's difficult to get the kind of responses one would expect, because most people, me included, are immediately drawn to looks, and most women see hairloss as an immediate show stopper, much the same as most guys will bypass fat women, ugly women, etc. The cold hard truth is that good hair helps to define us in the eyes of many women. Not all, but definitely most. If it weren't VERY important, this forum simply wouldn't exist.

So, yes, when I approach a woman that I am attracted to, my VERY first thought is, "I wonder if she will be okay with me being mostly bald?" Plus, women want confidence in a man, and hair loss robs most of us of that.

[walrus]

If and when the medical community comes out with a real, legitimate fix AT THE GENETIC LEVEL

This is unlikely to happen within the lifespan of anyone posting here.

[johnsmith]

Depressing read, that last post. Fortunately one I know is not true at all. True some younger women are seriously bothered by it, later in life... Heck it doesn't matter anywhere near as much as you guys are attempting to suggest it does.

I have far more luck with women now than I ever have had and have the least amount of hair I have ever had. Granted I am confident, have a reasonably supply of money, do interesting things and keep them intellectually stimulated.

If you decide to crawl into a hole and die because you have lost your hair so be it. I'll just continue to do what I do because it seems to work just fine and I appear to have a steady supply of pretty hot women.

One thing you guys need to realize is that most people hate a chunk of their bodies and women are no exception. Pretty much any girl I have ever dated who has had kids is of the opinion they are permanently ruined and not worth looking at naked so celebrate and take advantage of their self loathing and live a little.

I've mentioned before that not only do I have glorious hair loss but am also cursed with having psoriasis which, if you do not know, is a lovely skin condition which can appear on all sorts of parts of your body and is raised red leisions of the skin which also cracks and bleeds and times. I think 'disgusting' when I look at it - but despite this girls are like 'it's not that bad' and get into bed with me anyway.

Work your other assets, improve yourself until you feel confident in yourself, and enjoy your damned lives. Grow some cojones maybe and lay it down. It really isn't as impossible as some of you have lead yourselves to believe.

Or, alternatively, feel free to wallow in your misery and despair and complain about a completely natural part of the aging process.

Christ.

I have to ask, why are you here worrying about your hairloss, instead of out there enjoying life? Why spend even a second thinking about it if it doesn't bother you, my friend?

Maybe someday, the medical community will cure this disease, but until then, everyone here is worried about it to some degree. If I'm more concerned about it than you, isn't it hypocritical of you to say so, when you are also worried about it?

One of the most hard-hitting videos that I ever saw aired about a decade ago on The Learning Channel. It was a story of a man in his early 30s who had very hideous teeth. Other than that, he was a very handsome guy (and no, I'm not gay, I'm just saying...). He had handsome features, was very fit, had a full head of nice hair, a good personality, and was well educated. His teeth were just a disaster. It was something far beyond the ability of braces or minor dental surgery to correct. He required VERY major and extensive dental surgery, but he couldn't afford it. I forget what happened to allow him to afford it, but one day, he suddenly had the ability to be treated by one of the most renowned cosmetic dental surgeons in the world. It took a couple of months, but in the end, they managed to give this guy a perfect smile. When he first saw himself in the mirror, he broke completely down. He was so overwhelmed with joy that it literally brought him to his knees and he was sobbing uncontrollably, as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders.

It was an amazing story. I imagine that many of us would be like that if we were suddenly able to walk into a futuristic genetic hair treatment center and have our DNA fully repaired and instructed to grow good, natural, youthful hair for the rest of our lives. Well, we wouldn't have the sudden shock of seeing the end result, of course, but imagine your first great haircut in a few months. I guess it's nice to dream, because that's the extent of what we have right now.

[johnsmith]

This is unlikely to happen within the lifespan of anyone posting here.

I know. I harbor no such hope, but the medical community and pharmaceutical companies have never received a single penny from me. When Rogaine showed up, and the doctors said, "Well, it might work a little or slow down your losses," I said no thanks. I said the same to the other snake oils. I've never spent a penny on any of it. Why bother? If something came along that really worked, I knew that it would be headline news and treatment centers would be cropping up all over. Besides, what's the use of having a full head of hair if it robs you of your masculinity, or makes you grow man-boobs, become impotent, etc. No thanks! They'll get my money when they come out with the real deal, otherwise, they can forget it.

[Gerhard]

I'm not going to say being bald is a walk in the park. I'm 19 and either a 2.5 or a 3 on the Norwood scale. All I can say to this thread is "Wow" though. Like, no shit. I understand as NotCoolAnymore said that it is mainly about self perception. Few notice I'm balding and those that I make aware shrug and tell me that my face more than makes up for it and I'm fine, but even still I'm self conscious about it. The amount of self-pity, self-wallowing, self-depreciating, and overall NARCISSISM from you guys though is ****ing astounding. John, buck up and get your ass out there. You're at an age when this shit is WAY more accepted, you have the fortune to be good looking, AND well off. You're successful, man. Quit making it sound like you can't breed because your kids would be genetically inferior for not having hair. Do you understand how ****ing SAD that is to actually see someone write?

FFS, this is unreal. The fact that some of you are agreeing with what he's saying is just ****ing outrageous. And before you knock me down with the whole "You're not a high enough norwood to understand!" to that I say **** off. I get it, my hair loss ISN'T as bad as yours YET, but I still have more recession than your average 19 year old and will likely be right when you all are some day. You guys make it sound like life is over, all things are meaningless, etc.

****ing man up and accept that a NW1 isn't your life. You aren't gonna get that. I've finally made peace with that and I've decided that if push comes to shove I'll get an HT, thicken up my frontal and temporal zones, let my crown go slick bald and rock a Zinedine Zidane. Why? Because although it isn't what I want it's the best I can do and I can LIVE with that. I know I will still be found attractive and worthwhile.

****, this thread is full of BDD sufferers and that's coming from someone WITH BDD.

Fred, you're free from baldness. I've seen your thread, you look like you have a passable full head of hair if you keep it short (which is how you like) so WHY ARE YOU SUPPORTING THIS SHIT!? Tell them to get a cosmetic surgery, make due with the grafts you can maintain or have left and ****ing buck up because that's what YOU finally did. Give some ****ing hope, man.

[johnsmith]

I'm not going to say being bald is a walk in the park. I'm 19 and either a 2.5 or a 3 on the Norwood scale. All I can say to this thread is "Wow" though. Like, no shit. I understand as NotCoolAnymore said that it is mainly about self perception. Few notice I'm balding and those that I make aware shrug and tell me that my face more than makes up for it and I'm fine, but even still I'm self conscious about it. The amount of self-pity, self-wallowing, self-depreciating, and overall NARCISSISM from you guys though is ****ing astounding. John, buck up and get your ass out there. You're at an age when this shit is WAY more accepted, you have the fortune to be good looking, AND well off. You're successful, man. Quit making it sound like you can't breed because your kids would be genetically inferior for not having hair. Do you understand how ****ing SAD that is to actually see someone write?

FFS, this is unreal. The fact that some of you are agreeing with what he's saying is just ****ing outrageous. And before you knock me down with the whole "You're not a high enough norwood to understand!" to that I say **** off. I get it, my hair loss ISN'T as bad as yours YET, but I still have more recession than your average 19 year old and will likely be right when you all are some day. You guys make it sound like life is over, all things are meaningless, etc.

****ing man up and accept that a NW1 isn't your life. You aren't gonna get that. I've finally made peace with that and I've decided that if push comes to shove I'll get an HT, thicken up my frontal and temporal zones, let my crown go slick bald and rock a Zinedine Zidane. Why? Because although it isn't what I want it's the best I can do and I can LIVE with that. I know I will still be found attractive and worthwhile.

****, this thread is full of BDD sufferers and that's coming from someone WITH BDD.

Fred, you're free from baldness. I've seen your thread, you look like you have a passable full head of hair if you keep it short (which is how you like) so WHY ARE YOU SUPPORTING THIS SHIT!? Tell them to get a cosmetic surgery, make due with the grafts you can maintain or have left and ****ing buck up because that's what YOU finally did. Give some ****ing hope, man.

Yet here you are with us, worried about your baldness to some degree, my young friend. You do see that, right? The synopsis of your entire post is, "Hey, I'm not as worried about it as some of you, and you should be more like me." Okay, I get that.

[Gerhard]

Yet here you are with us, worried about your baldness to some degree, my young friend. You do see that, right? The synopsis of your entire post is, "Hey, I'm not as worried about it as some of you, and you should be more like me." Okay, I get that.

Of course I'm worried and of course I care, brother. But at the end of the day you need to accept and aggrandizing the problem so you don't furthere exacerbate it. You sound like you've got the template for a solid, meaningful life and at the rate you're going you will die with the paranoia and sadness of hair loss without ever have achieved a greater happiness because you always allowed something to hold you back. It sucks, brother, it does, but you and Fred have given it the power to surpass reason and to turn into a life ending prognosis.

[fred970]

I know. I harbor no such hope, but the medical community and pharmaceutical companies have never received a single penny from me. When Rogaine showed up, and the doctors said, "Well, it might work a little or slow down your losses," I said no thanks. I said the same to the other snake oils. I've never spent a penny on any of it. Why bother? If something came along that really worked, I knew that it would be headline news and treatment centers would be cropping up all over. Besides, what's the use of having a full head of hair if it robs you of your masculinity, or makes you grow man-boobs, become impotent, etc. No thanks! They'll get my money when they come out with the real deal, otherwise, they can forget it.

Won't you even consider a FUE?

See Gerhard, I'd like to give some hope, but I'm sure he's going to reply:

"A FUE? Not good enough! I want my teenage hair line and thickness back!"

[Gerhard]

Won't you even consider a FUE?

See Gerhard, I'd like to give some hope, but I'm sure he's going to reply:

"A FUE? Not good enough! I want my teenage hair line and thickness back!"

Honestly, if that's the case then he'll be here a long time. I understand an FUE or an HT in general isn't ideal. We all wish we could take a pill and pop out all of our original hair. It sucks that we can't, it honestly does. But he's gotta learn to either accept the hand he's been given and make the most of it or he can carry on as he has because that's ALL we've got.