It's more in our heads than we think.

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  • Cr779
    Senior Member
    • Nov 2011
    • 148

    It's more in our heads than we think.

    So I finally decided to tell my girlfriend of 9 months that I'm going bald. She never noticed mostly because I don't shower with her or let her see it wet and it's curly so dry and styled I can hide it.

    But I decided I wanted to tell her, own it and not worry about her noticing(also my whole bad experience with propecia, but that's not important right now.)

    She didn't care. At all.

    She was so surprised that I even cared that I was losing my hair. She told me that she loved me and she loved my curly hair and running her finger through it, then said but if it was gone I'd love rubbing your head instead. She told me if I ever have stupid insecurities like that again to just talk to her about it and that she would never let something so trivial like that bother her.

    And we're 22, and she's far better looking than me, many many people have told me I'm lucky and did really well for myself in "bagging her". I should also point out I'm 5'9", don't have a terrible head shape but I'm far from someone who would look amazing with a shaved head and I'm only above average fitness not super jacked or anything. And I'm scottish/irish and pale and unable to grow a beard.

    So yeah, I guess a lot of this crazy insecurity we get over out hair really is in our heads. Find the right person and they won't give a ****. Best of luck to everyone else, I hope you all find someone who loves you for you and not what's on your head.
  • Notcoolanymore
    Senior Member
    • Jun 2013
    • 2260

    #2
    Lock her down immediately.

    Comment

    • greatjob!
      Senior Member
      • Aug 2011
      • 910

      #3
      Tell me more about how you're a NW 2....

      Comment

      • inspects
        Senior Member
        • Aug 2012
        • 260

        #4
        Originally posted by Cr779
        So I finally decided to tell my girlfriend of 9 months that I'm going bald. She never noticed mostly because I don't shower with her or let her see it wet and it's curly so dry and styled I can hide it.

        But I decided I wanted to tell her, own it and not worry about her noticing(also my whole bad experience with propecia, but that's not important right now.)

        She didn't care. At all.

        She was so surprised that I even cared that I was losing my hair. She told me that she loved me and she loved my curly hair and running her finger through it, then said but if it was gone I'd love rubbing your head instead. She told me if I ever have stupid insecurities like that again to just talk to her about it and that she would never let something so trivial like that bother her.

        And we're 22, and she's far better looking than me, many many people have told me I'm lucky and did really well for myself in "bagging her". I should also point out I'm 5'9", don't have a terrible head shape but I'm far from someone who would look amazing with a shaved head and I'm only above average fitness not super jacked or anything. And I'm scottish/irish and pale and unable to grow a beard.

        So yeah, I guess a lot of this crazy insecurity we get over out hair really is in our heads. Find the right person and they won't give a ****. Best of luck to everyone else, I hope you all find someone who loves you for you and not what's on your head.
        Good post, Bro...!

        Comment

        • fred970
          Senior Member
          • Nov 2009
          • 924

          #5
          Two comments here, one negative, one positive:

          1. It's what she does that matters, not what she says, wait until you're NW4.

          2. You told your girlfriend you were balding? I usually have to tell my girlfriends that I'm bald, it's quite clear that I am, but they just don't notice it. "You're bald? You're sure?! I thought you shaved your hair for the style!"

          So yes, it might be more in our heads than we think. But don't take what women say too seriously. I remember my cousin's girlfriend telling me she would never date a bald guy, that she had to have the option to run her fingers through his hair etc. Now my cousin is suffering from alopecia universalis and almost bald. She's still with him.

          Comment

          • redy
            Senior Member
            • Jun 2013
            • 350

            #6
            Originally posted by fred970
            Two comments here, one negative, one positive:

            1. It's what she does that matters, not what she says, wait until you're NW4.

            2. You told your girlfriend you were balding? I usually have to tell my girlfriends that I'm bald, it's quite clear that I am, but they just don't notice it. "You're bald? You're sure?! I thought you shaved your hair for the style!"

            So yes, it might be more in our heads than we think. But don't take what women say too seriously. I remember my cousin's girlfriend telling me she would never date a bald guy, that she had to have the option to run her fingers through his hair etc. Now my cousin is suffering from alopecia universalis and almost bald. She's still with him.
            Yeah, I seriously think hair is more about getting in the door..

            Once you're inside you have to really mess up, or the girl has to change her mind in some other way about you than appearance unless.. you really mess that up too.

            A lot of girls don't necessarily care if they are dating the best looking dude they can 'afford' especially as people get a little older. I'm noticing this even in my early 20's.

            Comment

            • baldozer
              Senior Member
              • Oct 2012
              • 752

              #7
              Originally posted by cr779
              she told me that she loved me and she loved my curly hair and running her finger through it.
              /thread

              Comment

              • Aeroes
                Senior Member
                • Feb 2013
                • 159

                #8
                Put a ring on it mate.

                Comment

                • Dan26
                  Senior Member
                  • Jul 2012
                  • 1270

                  #9
                  Originally posted by fred970
                  Two comments here, one negative, one positive:

                  1. It's what she does that matters, not what she says, wait until you're NW4.

                  2. You told your girlfriend you were balding? I usually have to tell my girlfriends that I'm bald, it's quite clear that I am, but they just don't notice it. "You're bald? You're sure?! I thought you shaved your hair for the style!"

                  So yes, it might be more in our heads than we think. But don't take what women say too seriously. I remember my cousin's girlfriend telling me she would never date a bald guy, that she had to have the option to run her fingers through his hair etc. Now my cousin is suffering from alopecia universalis and almost bald. She's still with him.
                  The bolded parts are EXTREMELY important....This is something every man must accept, and will inevitably learn one day (usually the hard way).

                  Good news is she obviously does love you, and as long as you dont let balding change your behavior or make you insecure, she will continue to love you.

                  However woman have this incessant need to maximize they're market value / dating power which is why I'll always advise against young men having serious long term relationships with young woman...but that's a whole other topic. Whatever happens with you and your girl realize there are plenty of woman out there and your still young.

                  Comment

                  • gainspotter
                    Senior Member
                    • Aug 2013
                    • 135

                    #10
                    As previous poster said, its irrelevant when you already have your foot in the door. Girls who are already in a succesful relationship will always be the last people to make negative comments as they are already love "blind", same as us chaps are when we meet a girl.
                    The only people who really see us for how we are physically are strangers, I.e girls in bars we attempt to pick up.
                    End of the day, a girlfriend sees your inner beauty.
                    Trying to impress girls you've never met is an entirely different story.

                    Comment

                    • Shelley79328
                      Member
                      • Feb 2014
                      • 35

                      #11
                      It's unfortunate but true, when we are young we see the outside, but when we are old and wise we see everything. We usually meet our prospective spouses when we are young, which may be why the divorce rates are so high None the less, she seems wise for her age and I would also say don't let this one get away!! Let this be a lesson to the rest of you guys out there. Not only does size not matter but neither does hairline!!!

                      Comment

                      • DannyBoyy7
                        Senior Member
                        • Sep 2012
                        • 102

                        #12
                        Its a shame when something good has been said some peeps always look for the negatives you can never win...anyway good on you dude i hope your and your gf will be very happy...like i say many times not ever girl hates bald guys im stating the obvious i know but round these parts its usually "girls hate bald guys blah blah"

                        Comment

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