Dealing with the comments/jokes

[youngandearly]

I've always had a receding hairline my whole life (started at a NW2+) , so I assume it's slightly easier for me than for most (who started at NW1/0). Even thought I'm used to it, the comments and jokes are really wearing on me. For some reason bald/balding men are open targets in our society. MPB is simply a matter of genetics, no different than race, height, etc.. For some reason it's considered totally acceptable to mock/comment when its no more a choice than the colour of your skin. If I were to make a comment about someone's race I'd be crucified (figuratively), but when someone makes a joke about my hairline it's considered perfectly acceptable. I really do feel for anyone who's balder than I am, considering the public stigma associated with it and the effect it has on your appearance. I wish that people understood/respected that its not a choice and how sensitive of an issue it can be for people. Just my 2cents, I'd like some of your opinions though.

[clandestine]

You're entirely right; no two ways about it.

But you're not going to change anyone attitude about it. Not easily, anyway.

So the only remaining option is to change (modify) your attitude about it. That, and develop a thicker skin (figuratively).

[Exodus]

I get comments every now again "Oh you're hairs see through", Oh mate you're balding, Oh man losing you're hair already, Haha you're bald etc etc

Truth be told, I guess at our age we WILL get comments that's a fact, I guess it' your reaction to them and how you respond as well. The above definitely help, but in reality, people will move on. Now some might say Im lying blah blah, but they really will.

Where I work someone was commenting on "Oh I'm old, balding, etc. I blurted out dude Im 23, I have less hair then you (he's 35), deal with it. Admittedly said man moans a lot and I know comments like that aren't the best to say, especially here, but really the more we stress and worry, the more other people will notice.

So I guess I should eat my own words and a la buzz cut...

[Kayman]

I've always had a receding hairline my whole life (started at a NW2+) , so I assume it's slightly easier for me than for most (who started at NW1/0). Even thought I'm used to it, the comments and jokes are really wearing on me. For some reason bald/balding men are open targets in our society. MPB is simply a matter of genetics, no different than race, height, etc.. For some reason it's considered totally acceptable to mock/comment when its no more a choice than the colour of your skin. If I were to make a comment about someone's race I'd be crucified (figuratively), but when someone makes a joke about my hairline it's considered perfectly acceptable. I really do feel for anyone who's balder than I am, considering the public stigma associated with it and the effect it has on your appearance. I wish that people understood/respected that its not a choice and how sensitive of an issue it can be for people. Just my 2cents, I'd like some of your opinions though.

It might not feel like it right now but over time you will develop a thicker skin and the comments wont be quite so upsetting. It's like hearing the same thing over and over, instead of it being hurtful it becomes boring and you'll develop more of a "yeah yeah yeah" attitude. Of course don't be afraid to hit back with something. Someone used to take the mickey out of me about my hair loss until his false teeth came out of his mouth in front of me and desperately made an attempt to cover it up, he doesn't make fun anymore.
Also don't let people see that it bothers you, if you come across as insecure you'll find that the assholes will be more inclined to make fun or you'll get the condescending sympathy vote and you don't want either. What you want is to project yourself as confident. And trust me if your buddys start losing hair later in life they'll be coming to you cap in hand asking for advice.

[DepressedByHairLoss]

Youngandearly, I couldn't agree with you more and I've been preaching the same thing on this message board. I'm in my mid-30's and thankfully no one has made any comment about my hair loss. I don't think I'd be able to let it roll off my back and I really don't know how I'd deal with it. It's really sickening to me how it's totally acceptable to make fun of a person's hair loss, yet making fun of a person's race/ethnicity is totally off limits. Making fun of each aspect is equally reprehensible and should not be tolerated. If a person makes fun of hair loss on TV, it's totally acceptable and humorous. Yet if a person makes fun of another person's race or ethnicity, that person would probably be booted off the network.

Most hair loss sufferers are extremely sensitive about their hair loss, especially the young sufferers. I've seen people who have had other less-than-attractive physical traits about them and they're not nearly as sensitive about those traits as hair loss sufferers are about their hair loss. For example, I've always been a big weight-lifter, yet when I got big, a little gut came with the size. I've had friends rib me every once in a blue moon about the gut and I really didn't care. Hell, sometimes I'd even joke about it myself. Yet when hair loss hit me, I couldn't even imagine joking about it, or being a victim of some one else's jokes.

Bottom line, hair loss should be treated with the utmost sensitivity, compassion, and empathy, and NOT with jokes and ridicule. It really makes me sick whenever I see a hair loss article and there a cutesy little image of a frowning bald guy or maybe a photo of that worthless little turd nuggett from Seinfeld. As I said, hair loss should be treated with sensitivity and compassion, and not stupid little lame-ass jokes.

[mattj]

Also don't let people see that it bothers you, if you come across as insecure you'll find that the assholes will be more inclined to make fun or you'll get the condescending sympathy vote and you don't want either. What you want is to project yourself as confident. And trust me if your buddys start losing hair later in life they'll be coming to you cap in hand asking for advice.

This.

Act like you don't care and people won't bother trying to upset you. They get nothing out of it.

As you get older you'll develop a thicker skin and those around you will grow up.

[Kayman]

Youngandearly, I couldn't agree with you more and I've been preaching the same thing on this message board. I'm in my mid-30's and thankfully no one has made any comment about my hair loss. I don't think I'd be able to let it roll off my back and I really don't know how I'd deal with it. It's really sickening to me how it's totally acceptable to make fun of a person's hair loss, yet making fun of a person's race/ethnicity is totally off limits. Making fun of each aspect is equally reprehensible and should not be tolerated. If a person makes fun of hair loss on TV, it's totally acceptable and humorous. Yet if a person makes fun of another person's race or ethnicity, that person would probably be booted off the network.

Most hair loss sufferers are extremely sensitive about their hair loss, especially the young sufferers. I've seen people who have had other less-than-attractive physical traits about them and they're not nearly as sensitive about those traits as hair loss sufferers are about their hair loss. For example, I've always been a big weight-lifter, yet when I got big, a little gut came with the size. I've had friends rib me every once in a blue moon about the gut and I really didn't care. Hell, sometimes I'd even joke about it myself. Yet when hair loss hit me, I couldn't even imagine joking about it, or being a victim of some one else's jokes.

Bottom line, hair loss should be treated with the utmost sensitivity, compassion, and empathy, and NOT with jokes and ridicule. It really makes me sick whenever I see a hair loss article and there a cutesy little image of a frowning bald guy or maybe a photo of that worthless little turd nuggett from Seinfeld. As I said, hair loss should be treated with sensitivity and compassion, and not stupid little lame-ass jokes.

Really? You're lucky, I had constant piss taking throughout my twenties.

[dex89]

Get JACKED up and they won't make fun of you anymore.

[Breaking Bald]

It was devastating when someone who I don't particularly like said in 'what's up with your hair! are you balding?' ****ing prick!

[baldozer]

I've always had a receding hairline my whole life (started at a NW2+) , so I assume it's slightly easier for me than for most (who started at NW1/0). Even thought I'm used to it, the comments and jokes are really wearing on me. For some reason bald/balding men are open targets in our society. MPB is simply a matter of genetics, no different than race, height, etc.. For some reason it's considered totally acceptable to mock/comment when its no more a choice than the colour of your skin. If I were to make a comment about someone's race I'd be crucified (figuratively), but when someone makes a joke about my hairline it's considered perfectly acceptable. I really do feel for anyone who's balder than I am, considering the public stigma associated with it and the effect it has on your appearance. I wish that people understood/respected that its not a choice and how sensitive of an issue it can be for people. Just my 2cents, I'd like some of your opinions though.

Several friends of mine who used to make fun of me are now bald themselves, but yeah I'm not that cruel to remind them what they used to say to me. I never made fun of anyone for his height, color or any such thing.

[baldozer]

I've always had a receding hairline my whole life (started at a NW2+) , so I assume it's slightly easier for me than for most (who started at NW1/0). Even thought I'm used to it, the comments and jokes are really wearing on me. For some reason bald/balding men are open targets in our society. MPB is simply a matter of genetics, no different than race, height, etc.. For some reason it's considered totally acceptable to mock/comment when its no more a choice than the colour of your skin. If I were to make a comment about someone's race I'd be crucified (figuratively), but when someone makes a joke about my hairline it's considered perfectly acceptable. I really do feel for anyone who's balder than I am, considering the public stigma associated with it and the effect it has on your appearance. I wish that people understood/respected that its not a choice and how sensitive of an issue it can be for people. Just my 2cents, I'd like some of your opinions though.

More annoying than the jokes was when your Aunt or Uncle tried to sympathize with you. You didn't even know if they were really sympathizing or covertly mocking you! Damn, I really felt like breaking their necks when they used to do that to me!

[youngandearly]

If a person makes fun of hair loss on TV, it's totally acceptable and humorous. Yet if a person makes fun of another person's race or ethnicity, that person would probably be booted off the network.

That's a very interesting point, I never thought about the effect of Movies/TV on this issue. I guess when people see it on the big screen they feel empowered to do it themselves.

[youngandearly]

It might not feel like it right now but over time you will develop a thicker skin and the comments wont be quite so upsetting. It's like hearing the same thing over and over, instead of it being hurtful it becomes boring and you'll develop more of a "yeah yeah yeah" attitude. Of course don't be afraid to hit back with something. Someone used to take the mickey out of me about my hair loss until his false teeth came out of his mouth in front of me and desperately made an attempt to cover it up, he doesn't make fun anymore.
Also don't let people see that it bothers you, if you come across as insecure you'll find that the assholes will be more inclined to make fun or you'll get the condescending sympathy vote and you don't want either. What you want is to project yourself as confident. And trust me if your buddys start losing hair later in life they'll be coming to you cap in hand asking for advice.

I wish this were an option for me, but as of right now (being 19) it cuts right down to the core of my confidence as much as the hairloss does. How long did it take you to get to where it didn't bother you?

[clandestine]

I wish this were an option for me, but as of right now (being 19) it cuts right down to the core of my confidence as much as the hairloss does. How long did it take you to get to where it didn't bother you?

Honestly, it's taken me a few years. And I'm only 20; started receding at 17/18. This will differ by the individual, though.

[Kayman]

I wish this were an option for me, but as of right now (being 19) it cuts right down to the core of my confidence as much as the hairloss does. How long did it take you to get to where it didn't bother you?

Started losing hair at 20, probably stopped caring in my later twenties only because I let it get the best of me. Truth is, you're going to have to toughen up. I wasted my twenties being all upset and sensitive over it, looking back I wish I hadn't. It might not feel like it right now but you will eventually stop feeling quite so bad about it, I know that seems like it's a million miles away right now but it's true, time is a good healer.