Gotta set and reach benchmarks in your life. It's necessary. Academics and career development are aspects of your life you have immediate, total control over. Happiness will follow as you find success. Snow ball your confidence.
This is what I hope for. Thanks again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by baldozer
Common man, it shouldn't be so bad. Look at me, I started balding at 13 and was a NW6 when graduated from university. All my classmates had full heads of hair. Imagine what a freak I used to look like, bald at such a young age. It was really embarrassing for me, but life went on, and I did very well academically. When I was in my early 20s, people thought I was a 35 year old guy. You at least have hair!
I have nothing but sympathy for you, man. I know I am obsessive but, given my past failings and wastes, I just want a shot at being happy for the first time since childhood and I have it ingrained in me that I need to be as good-looking as I possibly can be to do so.
03-30-2013 10:18 PM
mpb47
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aames
I am going insane with this. I used to see a therapist but he really did not help me at all. He was close to retirement and may have been just mailing it in. Anyway, I cannot stop looking in mirrors (especially checking my hair and acne). Since I've upgraded to the new iPhone, I also use that reverse camera thing to look at myself at every opportunity. I am not exaggerating when I say that I spend at least a half hour per day looking at my reflection/image in some way. My appearance is all that I think about. It is preventing me from thinking about things that matter: studies, friends, family, girls, etc. I don't really know where else to turn. Any advice, brahs?
FWIW - Some of those mobile device cameras can sort of distort reality and make you look worse than reality. A few days ago I was with a much younger (late 20's ), pretty co worker at a Windows 8 demo. The camera on the the device made her look older - no she has loads of hair , but it still made her look older- esp around her eyes. She noticed it too and wondered if she really looked like that. No she doesn't in real life, but the device certainly made it appear that way.
I have no idea why this can happen , but I saw it first hand Thursday afternoon so just remember that some cameras can distort reality.
04-10-2013 09:29 AM
Iambannana
id never heard of this, but this is exactly me too. i look in the mirror constantly every chance i can at my hairline and how bad its getting, and the ol iphone front facing camera trick too. i dont even know what im looking for. hair is shit, just as it was yesterday and as it will be tomorrow, but i feel the need to just constantly look at it?
04-11-2013 04:49 AM
Aames
Quote:
Originally Posted by Highlander
Tell me this, how many people on bodybuilding.com reached their goals and felt unhappy? None. It feels amazing to know you smashed your goals and become aesthetic for it. There is no difference between this and cosmetic surgery, removing acne, getting an HT.
It's fear mongering from the fat, ugly, bald NW7's of BTT. Don't let them get to your brother. Stay strong.
Thanks for the reminder, man. The more I think about it, the more I realize that aesthetics are one of the very few driving forces remaining in my life. I am very near to giving up on personal relationships and hobbies; while devoting myself to complete physical and intellectual perfection (I think, for people like us, "mental" or "emotional" perfection is impossible).
04-11-2013 12:43 PM
PatientlyWaiting
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aames
I want to be a pharmacist so I plan to get a bachelor's degree in chemistry.
God man, yeah acne is ****ing terrible. Especially at my age, it just shouldn't be there. I want to go on Accutane so bad but I fear hair loss similar to what happened/is happening to Highlander. He plans to get a HT soon but I won't be able to afford one until I am out of school and I really do not want to have one if it is avoidable.
I'm also really afraid that I will never be happy. My biggest fear is achieving my goals but still being depressed. If that happens, I'll probably just kill myself. I wonder if happiness is impossible for some people.
If you get an HT with the hairline you have now [if the doctor even allows you to have one], I think you'd be a NW -7.
Seriously, you do not need an HT for the time being. If you can just keep what you have for years to come, you'll be good to go.
04-11-2013 03:22 PM
Aames
Quote:
Originally Posted by PatientlyWaiting
If you get an HT with the hairline you have now [if the doctor even allows you to have one], I think you'd be a NW -7.
Seriously, you do not need an HT for the time being. If you can just keep what you have for years to come, you'll be good to go.
I hope so, friend. That is why I am treating it so aggressively. On a semi-related note, if Winston allows signatures; I want you and 25 to be co-leaders of the Duta crew with me.
04-11-2013 06:42 PM
PatientlyWaiting
Sounds good.
05-09-2013 06:34 AM
Woodyy
Sometimes I think I have BDD, there's always something I have to be concentrating on. Back in December - Feb, before my hairloss, I'd reached my goal physique, my hair was fine etc... Nothing major going on but I still found myself obsessing over these tiny little blackheads I had on my nose, I bought all sorts of creams, oils etc to get rid of them.
Now that im going through chit with my hair it's all I obsess about, I bet once I overcome this hairloss (and I'm doing everything to make sure I do) I'll find something else wrong with myself.
Vicious circle.
05-21-2013 02:32 AM
mature
Always I have learned that any root of obession or emotional conflict the content is NOT what is important, it is not the sense of hair loss that is distressing, or the way you look etc.. It is always something deeper such as fear of not being good enough, feeling inferior or be little d, comparative to others, self criticism etc...
People have a tendency to obsess over what is wrong or to wish they had something they don't, if it is not hair loss it could be something different.. Maybe you lost you're eye sight, a limb, etc.. Maybe a pyschological basis such as major depression or generalized anxiety disorder.
Let me tell you from personal experience, I had been under the illusive suffering of the worst ends of OCD, Generalized Anxiety, Severe hours lasting panic attacks, and De personalization... Literally went from hell to back again multiple times... There is a sort of appreciation and intimacy with life that people gain going through severe circumstance and coming out the other end... I had studied and became very well educated on the nature of things like anxiety and depression, then I applied everything I learned and failed and failed again... It was a very up and down process but I have since fully recovered and will not fall into the mental trap of stuff like that again because I understand it. BDD actually falls under the category of anxiety spectrum dysfunctions and is very curable.. The constant checking and obsessing you are mentioning are exactly what is keeping the cycle going, you don't need to change to another faulty self image or anything ridicolous like that you just need to see yourself as you really are, without the judgement and analyze of you're own mind..
My guess is there are some deeper emotional issues going on that are being manifested into this BDD you are experiencing, instead of pushing it away and getting in a vicious cycle look into it and see whats really going on and needs to be absolved.
Most importantly every type of suffering produced is caused from the central point of mind or ego, It is the ways we go against the strides of what is really true and our delusions that lead us to suffering, self judgement being one of those.. If you are interested check out a book from Adyashanti on google called Way of Liberation and read the E book.. May give you exactly what you need if you are willing to try and fully apply it and see what happens.
On another note no one should be that seriously concerned here about going bald permanently; true we are all at different stages of hair loss but by the looks of it in the next few years there will be a cure in the form of something so no need to fret.
05-21-2013 07:55 PM
NotBelievingIt
Since you clearly go to bb.com - you probably spend an inordinate amount of time in the 'mirin section of the guys even if you won't admit it. NO HOMO right? That has to be the god damn stupidest ****ing idiotic phrase that only sexually insecure little boys say - its quite funny how the first time I saw it with any regularity was on bb.com though.
