Hey guys,
I am starting to think I have a serious problem with BDD, but I'm not convinced. I mean, people will tell you that if you hate your appearance and it makes you depressed and anxious, that you must have BDD. What if you are just a legitimately unusual looking person? What if your fears are based in reality?
I have a long pointy head, no two ways around it. I also have bad skin from years of acne, which isn't too big a deal with hair, but when I buzz my hair I look like an alien with a rough skin. People have literally told me that my head doesn't look right without hair, which is a bitch to hear when you know it will be your fate eventually when treatments can no longer keep things stable.
I am 36, I have a beautiful wife and a son on the way. I have my own business, and I am a semi-professional musician. My problem is the fact that I am going to go from being a normal average looking guy with my hair (currently a Norwood II, but with huge forehead), to what I consider an odd, almost cone-head looking guy with further MBP, and bad skin.
My biggest fear is becoming a complete mess compared to the guy I was when I met my wife. She is getting older too obviously but I shutter to think about what we will look like together in pictures when my hair gets worse, and she has barely aged at all.
I'm really suffering at this point. Does anyone have any advice on changing one's perspective about his appearance, or least how to obsess less day to day. I can't seem to function lately. I'm considering hypnotherapy next, and possibly antidepressants. Any suggestions are welcome.
10-10-2014 02:05 PM
Notcoolanymore
Quote:
Originally Posted by Karlton
I am 36, I have a beautiful wife and a son on the way. I have my own business, and I am a semi-professional musician. My problem is the fact that I am going to go from being a normal average looking guy with my hair (currently a Norwood II, but with huge forehead), to what I consider an odd, almost cone-head looking guy with further MBP, and bad skin.
You are more than an odd, cone-head looking guy with MPB and bad skin. I bolded just a few of the cool things you have going on. Plus you are 36. As older guys we just have to deal with the fact that sooner or later we are going to start losing hair. I am sure your wife realizes that too. Just don't let the rest of you go to hell and you should be good. It's not like you are just some bum trying to hold on your hot girlfriend. I am 38 and my hair situation is worse then yours. It sucks, but it something we have to deal with unfortunately.
10-12-2014 01:50 PM
Karlton
As always, I appreciate the kind words, Notcoolanymore. As you know, hairloss is a daily source of stress for anyone affected, and trust me it is 10 fold for someone who has body image issues to begin with.
I can honestly say that if I felt normal in terms of proportion and head shape, I would have shaved my head years ago. I have tried several times to embrace it, but I just can't get used to it. I think I may have to seriously consider FUE surgery in the future, so I can at least not be slick bald. I am dedicating 2-3 nights per week to improving my physique and doing what I can to improve my skin. I have a tough road ahead, but I believe what you said about believing that we are more than what our appearance alone can convey. I have to keep telling myself that it will somehow be ok. At least I have a great woman who doesn't seem to be concerned about my hair.
By the way, I heard your exchange with Spencer the other day, and it was great listening. I agree 100% about how doctors don't seem to have a clue when it comes to the latest treatments. It is crazy how many guys go into their appointments literally better informed than some of these MD's.
The doctor that originally prescribed finasteride to me back in '02 had to call another doctor to ask if was the same thing as minoxydil!! Thankfully I have since found a great doc who not only writes my script, but also helps me get all my hormone and organ function monitoring tests as well.
10-12-2014 02:09 PM
Rodfarva
Quote:
Originally Posted by Karlton
Hey guys,
I am starting to think I have a serious problem with BDD, but I'm not convinced. I mean, people will tell you that if you hate your appearance and it makes you depressed and anxious, that you must have BDD. What if you are just a legitimately unusual looking person? What if your fears are based in reality?
I have a long pointy head, no two ways around it. I also have bad skin from years of acne, which isn't too big a deal with hair, but when I buzz my hair I look like an alien with a rough skin. People have literally told me that my head doesn't look right without hair, which is a bitch to hear when you know it will be your fate eventually when treatments can no longer keep things stable.
I am 36, I have a beautiful wife and a son on the way. I have my own business, and I am a semi-professional musician. My problem is the fact that I am going to go from being a normal average looking guy with my hair (currently a Norwood II, but with huge forehead), to what I consider an odd, almost cone-head looking guy with further MBP, and bad skin.
Brother?
I'd swear you were looking at me when making this decription. Have you looked into lasers etc for the acne scars?
10-12-2014 04:32 PM
Notcoolanymore
I think most of us have BDD to some degree. Some much worse than others. With that being said with hair I was a pretty good looking guy, without it I am average at best.
10-12-2014 05:21 PM
fred970
Quote:
Originally Posted by Notcoolanymore
I think most of us have BDD to some degree. Some much worse than others. With that being said with hair I was a pretty good looking guy, without it I am average at best.
I have to admit that this is true. One pimple on the face for me and it's still the end of the world. People I know always say "it's OK it's not noticeable", but I can't help but feeling like the zit is enormous and that's all people can see. So I think it's normal if losing my hair bothered me so much. Everyone has always told me baldness didn't affect my appearance so much, and I guess they were right. But to me, being bald, it was so sad, so unbearable, I didn't recognize myself anymore. I don't think I have a big BDD problem, now that I have some of my hair back thanks to my HT, I don't obsess over other things about my body, I'm starting to see my old self in the mirror again.
10-12-2014 07:13 PM
Karlton
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rodfarva
Brother?
I'd swear you were looking at me when making this decription. Have you looked into lasers etc for the acne scars?
I talked to a dermatologist about pixel laser treatment for my scars, and possibly some dermal fillers. Both are good affordable options, but I decided to try dermarolling (micro-needling) for a while first. I've been doing a pretty aggressive treatment every two weeks for the last few months. It seems to be working, but the results come slowly.
I figure I'll give it 6 months to a year, and then do the lasers/fillers if still needed.
The beauty of the dermarolling is that you can order your own supplies, and do it yourself on the weekends. Your face is red for a day or two, but you look normal for work on Monday. Lasers have more significant down time, and I'm not convinced they are any better than microneedles for inducing collagen production. You can get everything you need on Amazon for $25-$50.
10-13-2014 06:42 AM
baldozer
Why men fear baldness so much. I was just comparing my pictures on my mobile, one where I am wearing a hat and another where I'm not. In the picture with hat, I look kinda feminine and submissive, while the one where I'm not wearing it, I look like a boss, and I love that picture. Embrace your baldness folks, it makes you look masculine and dominating.
10-13-2014 07:37 AM
lilpauly
its a terrible disease
10-13-2014 08:54 AM
35YrsAfter
Quote:
Originally Posted by Karlton
I talked to a dermatologist about pixel laser treatment for my scars, and possibly some dermal fillers. Both are good affordable options, but I decided to try dermarolling (micro-needling) for a while first. I've been doing a pretty aggressive treatment every two weeks for the last few months. It seems to be working, but the results come slowly.
I figure I'll give it 6 months to a year, and then do the lasers/fillers if still needed.
The beauty of the dermarolling is that you can order your own supplies, and do it yourself on the weekends. Your face is red for a day or two, but you look normal for work on Monday. Lasers have more significant down time, and I'm not convinced they are any better than microneedles for inducing collagen production. You can get everything you need on Amazon for $25-$50.
My brother in law has bad acne scars. He has recently married a beautiful lady and the scars don't seem to bother either he or his wife. Dr. Cole uses a dermaroller when administering PRP. Stick with it, it works well for most people.
35YrsAfter also posts as CITNews and works at Dr. Cole's office - forhair.com - Cole Hair Transplant, 1045 Powers Place, Alpharetta, Georgia 30009 - Phone 678-566-1011 - email 35YrsAfter at chuck@forhair.com
The contents of my posts are my opinions and not medical advice
Please feel free to call or email me with any questions. Ask for Chuck
