Suffering from depression for a couple years, suicidal thoughts...I am lost.

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  • Vunoo
    Member
    • Jul 2014
    • 98
    #1

    Suffering from depression for a couple years, suicidal thoughts...I am lost.

    At first glance you might think that this is an overdramatic post made by a teen who just lost a little hair here and there. It is not. And I don't have anyone to help me out. So could you please give me some suggestions that could add some value to my life?

    Hello guys, I'm a 22 years old male who's in this battle since his 16/17s. I've started taking minoxidil and finasteride since then. Yup, pretty much 5 years. What a long journey it has been... Sadly these medications couldn't help me that much.

    Well, I'm completly lost guys. I've already attempted some messed up things at myself when I was at my worst. I already tried everything..medication, hobbies, gym, talking to dermatologists, psycologists, family and even some of my friends. But it's really hard for someone who's not suffering from it to actually trully understand you, and I'm ok with that. But I really don't know what to do with my life.

    Everything I've been doing so far was with no true passion. I just graduated and I don't feel like I've accomplished anything that could really make me happy.

    I just got out of a relationship with a girl who didn't trully love me at all. Then I spoke it all to my mom, I said: "Mom, I no longer love myself. It's been a couple years that I feel this way and I don't know what to do. This is not me, and it's dragging me down in a way I've never imagined". She started crying, she wanted to help me. We tried some supplements and shampoos she bought but they didn't really do much.

    Now this is me in the present. A white skinny boy with no facial hair who's been using topical fibers and bonnets to cover up this disease that I, sadly, care so much for. I tried buzzing my hair and then I end up looking like a poor kid who's in chemotherapy. I asked my dad if there was any chance that we could do a trip and go to a hair system store. I showed him what these hair systems were and he started yelling at me, that I was going crazy.

    If there's anything that you think that I should do/consider, then please leave it here. Whether it is to treat hair loss or my depression. I'll take any suggestions in consideration.


    Thank you for giving me a hand. And I hope you can enjoy yourself and live your life to the fullest. You trully deserve it.
    Tags: None
    • spitfire
      Junior Member
      • Feb 2017
      • 8
      #2
      Vunoo,

      Being a young balding man is tough, I know because I was one and am still bald at 44, but it’s not a death sentence. First thing you need to do is accept it. It’s real and it’s a struggle. Your depression lies in unacceptance. Once you say this is something I need to deal with and I’m ready to take action, you’re on your way. Once you accept it you can work on your confidence. The best way to do that is cut your hair short and move on. If you’re worried about women, they will respond way more to a man who has accepted his fate, trimmed it down, and doesn’t let it interfere with his daily responsibilities and dreams, than to a man trying to hold onto something he no longer has control over, and suffering with self doubt and low confidence in the process. Once you accept this, you can earn back some self respect and start working towards the things you want in life. It won’t be easy, but it’s not easy for anyone. Start doing hot yoga. I wish someone would have told me to do that 20 years ago. Go talk to a counselor or therapist. Go walk, jog or bike. Get a dog, he will love you know matter what. Accept the fact that some assholes will point out your lack of hair and try to make you feel bad about yourself, just know that they are projecting their own insecurities on you. Learn to get comfortable with yourself, meditate. Celebrate the little wins, build resilience, just know this all takes time. Know this, you will meet an incredible person one day. Stay away from alcohol and drugs if you have a tendency for abuse. Live a discipline life and look at yourself in the mirror and stay committed. Stay away from internet porn. Don’t be so damn hard on yourself, everyone’s concentrating on themselves anyway. Best of luck buddy.

      P.S. - I have to remind myself of all this often.

        Comment

        • Ahab
          Senior Member
          • Jul 2014
          • 151
          #3
          Originally posted by spitfire
          Vunoo,

          Being a young balding man is tough, I know because I was one and am still bald at 44, but it’s not a death sentence. First thing you need to do is accept it. It’s real and it’s a struggle. Your depression lies in unacceptance. Once you say this is something I need to deal with and I’m ready to take action, you’re on your way. Once you accept it you can work on your confidence. The best way to do that is cut your hair short and move on. If you’re worried about women, they will respond way more to a man who has accepted his fate, trimmed it down, and doesn’t let it interfere with his daily responsibilities and dreams, than to a man trying to hold onto something he no longer has control over, and suffering with self doubt and low confidence in the process. Once you accept this, you can earn back some self respect and start working towards the things you want in life. It won’t be easy, but it’s not easy for anyone. Start doing hot yoga. I wish someone would have told me to do that 20 years ago. Go talk to a counselor or therapist. Go walk, jog or bike. Get a dog, he will love you know matter what. Accept the fact that some assholes will point out your lack of hair and try to make you feel bad about yourself, just know that they are projecting their own insecurities on you. Learn to get comfortable with yourself, meditate. Celebrate the little wins, build resilience, just know this all takes time. Know this, you will meet an incredible person one day. Stay away from alcohol and drugs if you have a tendency for abuse. Live a discipline life and look at yourself in the mirror and stay committed. Stay away from internet porn. Don’t be so damn hard on yourself, everyone’s concentrating on themselves anyway. Best of luck buddy.

          P.S. - I have to remind myself of all this often.
          I will never accept this condition. I am almost 70 and my hair first started thinning when I was 14. I will never surrender. To surrender is to deserve it.

            Comment

            • Vunoo
              Member
              • Jul 2014
              • 98
              #4
              Originally posted by spitfire
              Vunoo,

              Being a young balding man is tough, I know because I was one and am still bald at 44, but it’s not a death sentence. First thing you need to do is accept it. It’s real and it’s a struggle. Your depression lies in unacceptance. Once you say this is something I need to deal with and I’m ready to take action, you’re on your way. Once you accept it you can work on your confidence. The best way to do that is cut your hair short and move on. If you’re worried about women, they will respond way more to a man who has accepted his fate, trimmed it down, and doesn’t let it interfere with his daily responsibilities and dreams, than to a man trying to hold onto something he no longer has control over, and suffering with self doubt and low confidence in the process. Once you accept this, you can earn back some self respect and start working towards the things you want in life. It won’t be easy, but it’s not easy for anyone. Start doing hot yoga. I wish someone would have told me to do that 20 years ago. Go talk to a counselor or therapist. Go walk, jog or bike. Get a dog, he will love you know matter what. Accept the fact that some assholes will point out your lack of hair and try to make you feel bad about yourself, just know that they are projecting their own insecurities on you. Learn to get comfortable with yourself, meditate. Celebrate the little wins, build resilience, just know this all takes time. Know this, you will meet an incredible person one day. Stay away from alcohol and drugs if you have a tendency for abuse. Live a discipline life and look at yourself in the mirror and stay committed. Stay away from internet porn. Don’t be so damn hard on yourself, everyone’s concentrating on themselves anyway. Best of luck buddy.

              P.S. - I have to remind myself of all this often.
              I would be lying to you if I said I would be capable of embracing it. Its been 5 years and I still couldnt do it. This is not me. Its like Im someone else..

                Comment

                • Vunoo
                  Member
                  • Jul 2014
                  • 98
                  #5
                  Originally posted by Jazz1
                  There are a couple of suggestions, add a keto shampoo to your regiment. Also do you use branded propecia or generic? Consider changing your diet.

                  Add maybe RU58841 depending on your Finasteride. You could also consider a good hair system if you can afford one?
                  Can I get that Ru drug in a pharmacy? Do you know any well-known hair system shop in Europe? What kind of diet would you suggest?

                  Thanks for the reply.

                    Comment

                    • mrclean
                      Senior Member
                      • Jan 2017
                      • 524
                      #6
                      May be hope at the end of the year. Replicel is suppose to be released in Japan so that is exciting.

                        Comment

                        • Vunoo
                          Member
                          • Jul 2014
                          • 98
                          #7
                          Originally posted by mrclean
                          May be hope at the end of the year. Replicel is suppose to be released in Japan so that is exciting.
                          Even if it ends up working it would have to pass FDA's approval and all that stufff. It'll be years until we get our hands on something better than the current alternatives. Which is just sad.

                            Comment

                            • spitfire
                              Junior Member
                              • Feb 2017
                              • 8
                              #8
                              Well at the very least you should seek counseling if you feel suicidal. Best of luck.

                                Comment

                                • mrclean
                                  Senior Member
                                  • Jan 2017
                                  • 524
                                  #9
                                  Originally posted by Vunoo
                                  Even if it ends up working it would have to pass FDA's approval and all that stufff. It'll be years until we get our hands on something better than the current alternatives. Which is just sad.
                                  You get on a plane to Japan and get the treatment that is what I will be doing.

                                    Comment

                                    • zlatan
                                      Junior Member
                                      • Jan 2018
                                      • 1
                                      #10
                                      Don’t think chicks are just into the boys who have hair , Do you think hair is the only attractive feature of men ?,Just remember Bruce wills , Dwayne Johnson and many more
                                      It’s all about your Confidence
                                      Just be confident and concentrate on your carrer
                                      Everything will get fine with time
                                      Time heals everything
                                      Hit gym , Eat healthy , STAY CONFIDENT
                                      When you get suicidal instincts , Just remember your mother ,
                                      First of all you want to do all this for hair, which is just dead cells

                                        Comment

                                        • BaldBearded
                                          Senior Member
                                          • Jan 2017
                                          • 552
                                          #11
                                          If you are truly suffering from depression, then you need to get help from a mental health professional. It may be more than just your hair. And even if it is "just your hair", being able to talk to someone who can give you some coping tools might help.

                                            Comment

                                            • Vunoo
                                              Member
                                              • Jul 2014
                                              • 98
                                              #12
                                              Thank you very much for taking your time and helping a stranger out, guys. I trully, TRULLY appreciate it. I am trying to surpass the sadness that is ongoing inside me, and while hair loss may not be the only cause, it has always been something that made me feel insecure. There have been way too many events going on at the same time that didn't help my self-esteem either.

                                              Regarding @zlatan, I go ocasionally to the gym and play tenis now and then. The thing is that those guys you mencioned represent the more masculine/matura/alpha males, with strong faces and facial tones. The clean/buzz cut doesn't favor everyone as you probably know it. And I'm pretty sure it doesn't favor me. I'm a slim white boy who has pretty much no facial hair. I've always rocked that Troye Sivan-ish look and having lack of hair will turn me into a dead corpse. Now I'm not saying that continuous gym sessions won't improve my overall structure, I'm sure it will. But it won't suddenly give you a face that will rock a clean cut.

                                              @BaldBearded, thanks for the tips once again. I don't have many folks that I can talk to regarding this situation. The dermatologists around here (or at least the one I've been going to) aren't trully worried about your physical/mental health, and if the cause is genetic baldness they'll just say "Oh, thats male pattern baldness, mate. keep on taking finasteride and minoxidil and hope for the best". I'm there listening to it like "Well, THANK YOU sherlock for telling me to do what I've been doing since I was 17."...

                                                Comment

                                                • GT02
                                                  Junior Member
                                                  • Jun 2017
                                                  • 5
                                                  #13
                                                  Originally posted by Vunoo
                                                  Thank you very much for taking your time and helping a stranger out, guys. I trully, TRULLY appreciate it. I am trying to surpass the sadness that is ongoing inside me, and while hair loss may not be the only cause, it has always been something that made me feel insecure. There have been way too many events going on at the same time that didn't help my self-esteem either.

                                                  Regarding @zlatan, I go ocasionally to the gym and play tenis now and then. The thing is that those guys you mencioned represent the more masculine/matura/alpha males, with strong faces and facial tones. The clean/buzz cut doesn't favor everyone as you probably know it. And I'm pretty sure it doesn't favor me. I'm a slim white boy who has pretty much no facial hair. I've always rocked that Troye Sivan-ish look and having lack of hair will turn me into a dead corpse. Now I'm not saying that continuous gym sessions won't improve my overall structure, I'm sure it will. But it won't suddenly give you a face that will rock a clean cut.

                                                  @BaldBearded, thanks for the tips once again. I don't have many folks that I can talk to regarding this situation. The dermatologists around here (or at least the one I've been going to) aren't trully worried about your physical/mental health, and if the cause is genetic baldness they'll just say "Oh, thats male pattern baldness, mate. keep on taking finasteride and minoxidil and hope for the best". I'm there listening to it like "Well, THANK YOU sherlock for telling me to do what I've been doing since I was 17."...

                                                  Perhaps your depression is caused by the finasteride?

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Vunoo
                                                      Member
                                                      • Jul 2014
                                                      • 98
                                                      #14
                                                      Never thought about it. Is it capable of giving ya side effects like those? That's a thing I'll have to talk about with my dermatologist.

                                                        Comment

                                                        • clee984
                                                          Senior Member
                                                          • Feb 2010
                                                          • 254
                                                          #15
                                                          This thread is painful to read, and I'm sure many of us recognise the feelings you are experiencing. Frankly, it's heart-breaking. Still now, when I go out and I see guys in their 50s, 60s, 70s with beautiful, thick heads of hair, it almost makes me want to cry - they have no idea how lucky they are to never experience the soul-crushing agony. Every man (and woman) should be able to grow hair (if they want to), it's simply too important to our self-image.

                                                          But, you are young. That is a big advantage. You have time on your side. Keep on keeping on, go to the gym etc. Perhaps you could set up a 'hair fund', that you pay into regularly, so that when more effective treatments come (and they will, it's been 20 years since propecia, something has to give soon), you will be ready and raring to go. Life most certainly does not end at 30, and you could (and I like to think, will) have many many years of full-head-of-hair-edness to look forward to.

                                                          Stay strong brother. I hope you find the peace you need.

                                                            Comment

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