Are Women Your Motivation To Get Your Hair Back?

I started losing my hair when I was 18. College was a nightmare because I was the only guy in my group of friends who was going bald. I felt invisible to women.

Now I'm thinking about getting a HT and the main reason is I would like to be more successful with girls. I know I need to work on my confidence but I feel with more hair will come more confidence.

I just want to know if other guys feel the same way.

Also, have any of you ever tried online dating? Is it harder because you get judged on your picture first?

lol........it's too late to get my hair back but no it's not nor was it ever about women .

It was about feeling good about myself, how I looked , how I felt I presented myself .
About having confidence and being somewhat more outgoign .
As a shy person to begin with , hairloss made things worse for me IMO .

I avoided social outings , wanted to be left alone and all the rest of the BS that hairloss does to some people psychologically

11 yrs later , after `1 HT ( approx 1,900 grafts ) I now look back and wish I had the courage to have at least tried the brush cut when I noticed thinning at the temtples .

Now I am stuck with a thin look , bald crown and a big f*cking happy face scar ( if I cut it with less than a # 2 ).......so I take it one day at a time and make the best of a shitty situation

You get women with A) Money in your Pocket and B) Confidence.

Now confidence is something that when under 25 is defined and produced by how you actually look and how much of an alpha male you are. If you didn't experience a social metamorphosis after high school, it's highly unlikely you'll change in university or college.

After 25, even if you look like Brad Pitt, the only women who will be interested in if you DON'T have a good job/security/insurance plan will be white trash crazies and alkies and hags. Having lived that precise dream, I can tell thee it is not all that it is cracked out to be.

And finally, once age catches up with you, it doesn't really matter what's ON your head, but what's IN your head boyo.

Take heart.

My story: I always loved having hair because I like to look like a long-haired 80s rocker. I played in an 80s metal bar band for a couple of years back when I still had my long hair and I just loved looking like my rock n roll idols, guys like Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue and bands like Poison, Guns N Roses, Def Leppard, etc. Ever since I was a kid, I always aspired to look like those guys and now I feel like that will never happen, and all because of some garbage genetics that I unfortunately inherited.
With regards to women, it does affect me to a certain degree. Although I still force myself to talk to women (God knows I did this weekend!, but that's because I was so wasted), I still have this hair loss bullshit in the back of my mind. And I used to love to post my pictures on myspace and facebook, back when I had a full head of long hair. But now I'm not on either one of those sites because I can't bear the thought of posting a picture of myself thinning/balding.
DAVE52: For me it is also about feeling good and confident about myself, however that's why I am so afraid of getting a hair transplant: I so desperately do not want that permanent linear scar. These doctors really have to start offering something else besides these goddamn hair transplants.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by DepressedByHairLoss

............I am so afraid of getting a hair transplant: I so desperately do not want that permanent linear scar.

---

You like long hair , then there shouldn't be problem .
Grow it long , cover the scar ;)

Hey, Depressed, you actually DO look like your idols. Axl is bald and half of the other guys either wear wigs or have multiple transplants, all the time. They're just filthy rich so none of it matters to their playpens of bunnies.

Seriously though, transplants are NOT the solution. You could get a FUE operation that leaves no scar -hell, multiple FUE's even- but trouble is, unless you have really minor loss (NW3 with really thick, good hair on the rest of your head) the result you'll achieve will never be good enough for you to be able to wear your hair long. Transplants, at an 80% are garbage, they give an ILLUSION of density that is good for TV, not actual hair.

Plus, what with shock loss and propecia-for-life, transplants are really a 30/70 success/failure ratio at BEST.

Well, thankfully I'm not completely bald at all, just gaping receding hairlines and thinning on top. I heard Axl had some horrible hair transplants, but so many of those 80s metal musicians have naturally full heads of long hair: Vince Neil and Tommy Lee of Motley Crue, all the guys in Whitesnake and Tesla, Slaughter, Ratt, etc. There are some exceptions like Bret Michaels (wig) but not too many that I can tell.
I agree that hair transplants are far from a solution. They can't even give you even half of the density that you used to have, and there is only so much hair that you can move from one place to another. True, I could cover the donor scar with long hair but I don't want to worry about covering scars on my head for the rest of my life. FUE even causes scars as well. And then I'd have to worry about a lifelong commitment to Propecia, which I think is causing me side effects as well. I just hate the idea of hair transplantation. But I appreciate the advice DAVE52, you seem like a decent person.

So, it's NOT about women and I should NOT get a hair transplant?

Quote:

---

It was about feeling good about myself, how I looked , how I felt I presented myself .
About having confidence and being somewhat more outgoign .

---

And that had nothing to do with attracting women? You just wanted to do it for overall confidence?

Isn't what most of what guys do in life to attract women?

So if it's not to attract women, why try to get your hair back? Why spend time on a hair loss forum? Why do HT, Propecial, Minoxidil, etc?

YOU do it , or don't do it, for whatever reason YOU feel necessary .

May I ask what your age is ?

Hey Dave,

I know reasons may differ. I'm 25. I've been on Propecia since I was 18. I think I'd be a good candidate for a HT but I'm a little scared about it. I'm just wondering what others motivations are because I'm afraid mine are shallow.

OF COURSE it's about women and sex!

Ever since we're young we're bombarded by images of "Prince Charming" complete with flowing locks.

If Prince Charming was bald, no man would ever think twice about it.

Quote:

---

OF COURSE it's about women and sex!

Ever since we're young we're bombarded by images of "Prince Charming" complete with flowing locks.

If Prince Charming was bald, no man would ever think twice about it.

---

That's what I think.

People tell me that it's not about women but about confidence. Well what do you need confidence for when it comes to your looks? Do you feel like you can't be confident at your JOB because you're losing your hair?

I always thought that when guys wanted their confidence back that it was all about the opposite sex.

I know that's my main motivation. I just wanted to get an idea of what other guys thought about it.

If you have a different motivation tell me about it. I'd like to know what other guys think.

It's not about attracting women, or at least it's not the only reason why we want to keep our hair. The simple fact is: bald is UGLY, whether we admit it or not. NO ****ing way in hell a bald head looks as good as a full head of hair. Look at any creature -that's naturally covered with hair- on this god damn planet and tell me what you think of it if it was missing hair. Look at a cat, dog, horse or whatever and tell me if you think it looks good when it has a bald spot on its skin or even worse, its head. Even my little finch looks like a scary freakish thing when it loses its feathers at the back of its head and neck. What's uglier than a rat ? A bald rat. I don't think baldness in humans is any different. Look at a beautiful woman with hair, and then look at her without hair. Amazing. Look at a lion with a beautiful thick mane, then look at it without it. It looks like a little *****.....

Hair is like a crown on the head of the average man. It's like being a king without being a king. I often wonder why it has such a huge effect on us but I can't figure out why. It just DOES. And I sure as hell would do anything to keep my hair even if I turn 100.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by larryfine

That's what I think.

People tell me that it's not about women but about confidence. Well what do you need confidence for when it comes to your looks? Do you feel like you can't be confident at your JOB because you're losing your hair?

I always thought that when guys wanted their confidence back that it was all about the opposite sex.

I know that's my main motivation. I just wanted to get an idea of what other guys thought about it.

If you have a different motivation tell me about it. I'd like to know what other guys think.

---

Hey larryfine.
To answer your question. The mostly prevalent reason for me to get my hair back are women. I need hair to attract women.
Sure there is something about myself looking good, but I don't spend each moment looking at myself in the mirror. So it is the women who are looking at me.

The other reasons why I would want my hair back are the sun which heats your head at summer, and cold weather at winter. Head feels warmer with hair. But these reasons are not so important. These problems can easily be fixed by hats and caps.

The confidence in doing my job, running 10 miles, climbing a mountain or solving a math equation does not come from having or not having a full head of hair.

It is as simple as that. Atleast for me :).

Quote:

---

The simple fact is: bald is UGLY, whether we admit it or not.

---

But if there were no women would you care if you were UGLY? Why give a shit? If women didn't care what men looked like we'd all be 500 pounds, bald, and shitting our pants.

Quote:

---

The confidence in doing my job, running 10 miles, climbing a mountain or solving a math equation does not come from having or not having a full head of hair.

---

Exactly! I have confidence in myself when it comes to work or other activities but when it comes to women I can't muster up the courage to even say hello. I imagine her turning me down and then laughing with her friends about the young "bald freak" that tried to hit on her.

I used to care a lot about my hair, know I have accepted I will have a thinning crown at an early age and there is nothing I can do about it, why? because a stupid ass called carl bazan depleted my donnor area. He isn't even a real doctor, but I was stupid and younger.
Now thanks to figures like prince william and other bald people that are embracing there condition, I think perhaps women will shift their point of view of hairs on a male. Besides I have asked this question to women(26 and up) and they don't place much importance on hair, it is the girls (26 and below) who place the most importance on it. So if you want to get laid, start looking for older women(26 and up), it has worked for me.

Yes, My main motivation is females. I'm 29 and was recently infatuated with a 23 year old. I don't think she noticed my thinning hair too much (I do my best to disguise it with long hair in the right places) but it was on my mind when I'd talk to her. For a 23 year old, a balding guy would be a freak of nature to socialize with. It would be very unlikely for her to know any balding guys at her age.

It's not just females though. I feel self conscious when I'm with friends too. Is somewhat surprising that as a nearly 30 year old absolutely no males I associate with are thinning whatsoever. That makes it hard for me because I'm one of a kind in my network of friends. If half of us were balding it may not impact me as much emotionally.

I echo most of the comments here. I'd definitely be concious now around women but I also find myself worrying about it just amongst friends even because they all have incredible hair. Self confidence has gone to shit. It's bloody tough to turn it around. Doesn't seem par for the course. I still don't know why it came as such a surprise, my father is a right old chrome dome. Guess I thought I'd make it to 35 like he did before it started to go.

I wish I had the balls to be one of those shaven headed badasses but it's just not me. I want my hair back. I always get optimistic about news on potential cures but if I'm realistic and not living in a fantasy land well it's just not going to happen. Time to man up and get the **** on with it I guess :(

Finasteride and transplants. What a joke. No thanks.

Quote:

---

Is somewhat surprising that as a nearly 30 year old absolutely no males I associate with are thinning whatsoever.

---

I've got the same problem. I'm the only one in my group of friends who is losing his hair. They usually don't say anything about it but I know they're thinking it.

And shit like this doesn't help either: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/lifestyle...d-of-hair.html

Quote:

---

I wish I had the balls to be one of those shaven headed badasses but it's just not me.

---

I'd like to do that too. But I can't because my head isn't the right shape.

I would want to feel handsome even if women didn't exist (don't ask me why), but yes women's perception of me does amount for a lot of my motivation.

Hi,
Thanks for sharing this information. I think you’re exactly right about Are Women Your Motivation To Get Your Hair Back?

Quote:

---

Also, have any of you ever tried online dating? Is it harder because you get judged on your picture first?

---

Yes. And probably. But I'm on eharmony atm and have an almost overwhelming number of people I'm talking to. Probably 15-20 at the e-mail stage and about 20-25 more at other stages. Some of these people are very attractive and, since they're matched to your education/etc, aren't gold digging. I don't even bother sending initial contacts any more because I have too many people to keep track of.

I'm in my 30s and probably a NW4, way big forehead. I did not use flattering pictures either. I think a lot of it depends on your sense of humor or personality or whatever, however you set up your profile and talk to people. Honestly I'd recommend online dating to guys here. You'd be surprised how many girls are interested in guys who are obviously balding.

Bit of a relief. I still think I look like crap and am going down hill, but . . . I will kill myself at another time.

Thanks,
Michel
oil and gas investing

Quote:

---

I'm in my 30s and probably a NW4, way big forehead.

---

Are any of the women contacting you below the age of 25? Just wondering because I think that women younger than 25 tend to put more emphasis on looks than women who are older.

I have no woman in my life and dont date, yet I'd die to keep my hair. Of course most of us want hair to attract women, it's natural, but I don't think it's the only reason why we want hair. I personally want my hair even if there were no women left on the planet. Like I said, I just don't think having a bald spot on top of your hair is natural. If you look at other types of alopecia where people have small bald spots in random places on their heads you'll see how unnatural and disturbing that looks. It's only that MPB is so common and all around us that we kinda grow accustomed to accepting it, even though it looks worse than having just a small bald spot on your head. Now, if I were born bald and never had any hair EVER it would be a totally different thing. I' probably wouldn't give a damn about having hair because I wouldn't even know what it felt like to have it. But to have hair for more than half of your life and then lose it, that's ****ed up. For me it's just like losing any other part of your body, period. If someone doesn't see it this way, then good for them. But like I always say, don't expect every body to react the same way to the same problem because they won't.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by larryfine

I've got the same problem. I'm the only one in my group of friends who is losing his hair. They usually don't say anything about it but I know they're thinking it.

And shit like this doesn't help either: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/lifestyle...d-of-hair.html



I'd like to do that too. But I can't because my head isn't the right shape.

---

I know what you mean. It's annoying when you're talking to someone and you catch their eyes drifting north to your hairline. I know they can't help it but it sucks.

No, it for me

Quote:

---

For me it's just like losing any other part of your body, period.

---

Agreed. Actually, I think I'd rather give up an arm or a leg than my hair. Still, I'd like to have my confidence back that I lost when I lost my hair. The main reason is I have no confidence with women.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by larryfine

Agreed. Actually, I think I'd rather give up an arm or a leg than my hair. Still, I'd like to have my confidence back that I lost when I lost my hair. The main reason is I have no confidence with women.

---

Being bald is like losing a part of your body, Who wants to look ten years older than he is now ?
But come on, not an arm or a leg. How would you F a woman ? Ask a disabled guy how popular he is !

As far as I am concerned, of course I do that for other people in particular women . I have dated many women and I heard many of them bitching about bald guys. I remember one day , I was in a club with my friend and one bald guy tried to chat her up , she just looked at him and said :Sorry, Im not single.
Right after that, she said to me : "look at him, that is gross he has no hair, why doesn't he take care of himself??" Many girls know nothing about balding, hence they think those guys are just dirty.

Hair brings confidence! Just look at magazines or commercials , none of them contains one picture of a bald guy!
Implicitly, they say to girls : If you are not like that, you are just gross .

I am losing my hair but my hair density is still high as long as my hair is a bit long. I did the following experience( not on purpose) : for a few months, I shaved my hair and one could notice the alopecia! I got many remarks such as : "shit you are becoming old" or "Are you sick ?" . How can you be confident after hearing that? After 3 months, I could date only one girl.

When my hair became longer, combined with Toppik or Nanogen, girls chased me .

Yes, definitely. All of my efforts to improve looks because I have never had a girlfriend and want to date an attractive girl. Attractive girls want attractive guys unfortunately.

If you wanna get an attractive girl for a long term relationship, you must impress her. Either you are lucky, you ve found an attractive girl who doesn't care about the appearance ,or become rich and you ll buy this b***h.

Now, if you just want to do an attractive girl, you have to lie to yourself, change your style, many attractive girls like douchebags. I know you better kill yourself than doing that, but trust me it is worth doing it ! Shave your hair, wear a stupid hat, very fashionable glasses and give up your pride.

When I shaved my hair, I was wearing a beret, wayfarer and I carried a camera, I pretended I was a photographer , I could not recognize myself. I downloaded some fashion pictures and I pretended it was work .
Finally I could date one attractive girl and I didnt pay attention to the other non-attractive ones.

Yeah, or just be good looking. Which what I'm trying to do for the last 3 years. Too bad it is still not enough and I keep getting rejected. I already know that I won't be getting anything in this year because of braces, but I at least hope that when I have good teeth I will have MPB in control as well, so that maybe will improve my chances.

In terms of douchebags - girls like them when they are attractive guys only.

I would better be dead than with shaved hair (seriously) because it will make me much more uglier. I am, unfortunately, gifted with abnormally large head and forehead which make me look really ugly. I cover it with bangs now, but hair loss will not let me do this forever.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by BientotChauve

If you wanna get an attractive girl for a long term relationship, you must impress her. Either you are lucky, you ve found an attractive girl who doesn't care about the appearance ,or become rich and you ll buy this b***h.

Now, if you just want to do an attractive girl, you have to lie to yourself, change your style, many attractive girls like douchebags. I know you better kill yourself than doing that, but trust me it is worth doing it ! Shave your hair, wear a stupid hat, very fashionable glasses and give up your pride.

When I shaved my hair, I was wearing a beret and a camera, I pretended I was a photographer , I could recognize myself. I downloaded some fashion pictures and I pretended it was work .
Finally I could date one attractive girl and I didnt pay attention to the other non-attractive ones.

---

I would rather give up my hair than my arm or leg.
I need hair to attract women, nothing else. I mean there are other things in life I like to do like sports, watching good movies and i would definetly like to travel to tropical paradises some day. Don't need hair for any of that.
I mean the modern American society is constantly emphasizing the importance of sex and good looks to the point of it becoming more important than the air we breathe.
Everything is about sex. Everything revolves around sex. Please:rolleyes:.

It is strange how everyone is promoting the importance of political correctnes. Everyone is an equal being despite their religion, race, age and so on. However it is still okey to berete "ugly" people. The existence of those less pleasing to the eye just shows how in the nature or animal kingdom it is not about the looks but whole other slew of attributes and/or characteristics.

If you spend years of your life being depressed you are just wasting the time which is not abundant. Getting your hair back should be one of your objectives in life, not a defining feature.

Now thats my personal opinion, just trying to describe a different perspective :).

You need your legs and arms more than hair to attract women. Nobody would date a cripple except anomalies, but many would settle for a bald guy. Notice I'm using the word "settle".

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Scorpion

Yeah, or just be good looking. Which what I'm trying to do for the last 3 years. Too bad it is still not enough and I keep getting rejected. I already know that I won't be getting anything in this year because of braces, but I at least hope that when I have good teeth I will have MPB in control as well, so that maybe will improve my chances.

In terms of douchebags - girls like them when they are attractive guys only.

I would better be dead than with shaved hair (seriously) because it will make me much more uglier. I am, unfortunately, gifted with abnormally large head and forehead which make me look really ugly. I cover it with bangs now, but hair loss will not let me do this forever.

---

Same boat there man..unfortunately I am not attractive with a shaved head. I was also unfortunately gifted with a somewhat large forhead, and the only thing that ever covered that was my NW1 hairline. Now..that is slowly fading away too at the age of 26. My hair was my security blanket. Take that away from me, and I couldnt pull half the girls I could with my full head of hair. Talk about slow torture.

But to answer the question, yes women are in a way my motiviation to keep my hair or recover whats lost. But Ive always been known for my thick full head of hair, and thats what I was for 26 years..seeing that change is hard..I feel like Im not myself. So self confidence and self image is more important to me.

What about wearing a wig ? Nowadays, they look so real ! It has its advantadges and its drawbacks but if you just want to get laid, it would be very helpful!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by BientotChauve

What about wearing a wig ? Nowadays, they look so real ! It has its advantadges and its drawbacks but if you just want to get laid, it would be very helpful!

---

Not the same feeling as having your own hair. Thats why i dont care about the topikal stuff either..at the end of the day your still bald.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by BientotChauve

What about wearing a wig ? Nowadays, they look so real ! It has its advantadges and its drawbacks but if you just want to get laid, it would be very helpful!

---

Yes, and once wind blows it off on a windy day and someone you know sees, you can pretty much move to another country.

Interesting comments
I personally don't think having a full of hair is goign toi be the difference between you getting that woman you want and not getting her .
Having hair might give you more confidence etc etc but there needs to be other personal qualities in us that a woman will find attractive.

I also don't think bald is ugly as someone mentioned.

Sure it sucks to eb bald , but it is what it is , as we get older it's going to happen .

We need to learn to deal with it : HT, drugs , live with it as it is or shave it bald or shave it short .

It's all in our mind .

I had a lady @ work when I jokingly mentioned my bald crown say " who cares " - andf I keep thinking back to what she said and wished I could have said that 11 yrs ago and just shaved my head short

Yes it still bothers me to this day but I try to deal with it the best I can and I have no desire to go back for a 2 nd HT . I can cut my hair short at the back and the scar isn't visible , I do not want to take the chance of creating another scar that might turn out to bad

I think it's better to keep your hair short than long , messy , or the dreaded combover to cover the bald spot .

As another member ( Piscium ) commented in his introduction who had the old punch transplant

1. Ask your surgeon about the scarring as well as the results. The thick scar I have at the back of my head causes me more anxiety than anything else. Every so often a barber or hairdresser exposes it and sends me spiralling into a depression!
2. Wait! From what I have read, new treatments are less than 5 years away and will give far superior results. When I first had a HT, treatments such as follicle multiplication were unimaginable. Now, I believe, they are a real possibility. If you can, hang on.
3. Think very carefully before you commit. Once you go down the HT path there is no turning back, and you will likely spend the rest of your life trying to hide it, improve it or reverse it.

Good luck to all

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by BientotChauve

Nowadays, they look so real ! It has its advantadges and its drawbacks but if you just want to get laid, it would be very helpful!

---

They don't look real at all

for me as 21 years old guy women are 80% of the reason that i hate this fact ..
why in the hell a girl in my age would be with a bald guy ! we are a minority ! being bald doesn't mean that you are ugly but makes me older that's why iam dispointed

It definitely is :D