Hair fibres or Nanogen etc, getting the texture right.

I currently use Nanogen hair fibres.
The only problem is, as I'm sure many here know, is that women love to touch men's hair.
I'm planning on getting surgery pretty soon, with perhaps scalp pigmentation etc in the meantime (as I'd prob need 2 surgeries, I suspect).

Anyway, hair can feel "sandy"/"powedery" with lots of hair fibres in. Too much spray and its like "concrete".

How do people find a winning balance? Do they find short hair is better? A wet/shiny look spray? Just the hair locking spray from Nanogen or whoever?
Or perhaps spraying the back and sides with hairspray so it doesn't look different to the thinning top?

If my back and sides and top are fairly short, my nanofibres looks ok, atleast til very close inspection. But I which I could nail the feel of it, atleast on a very casual touch.
Many thanks all.