Just a little while ago, I wrote a post on here that I thought could help some people out. I remember it started with the assumption that you were balding. So, here's a quick question, are you still balding? Yes? ...f*ck, me too. Well hell, might as well write another post.
Balding, it won't kill you. It's way too nefarious for that. That would be too obvious a condition. A balding person might even get some sympathy, which would be much too sweet. So no, balding won't kill you, but it will still do something pretty bad: it will rob you of your happiness. And it does it pretty well. How many other forums have the admins step in to remind everyone not to commit suicide or suggest that others do so? Yeah, it gets that bad. I'M LOOKIN' AT YOU SCORPION.
So how can you be happier? The number one answer here would be to have hair, I guarantee it. Well, sorry, no one can give you your hair back, yet. But what you should understand is that there are pleeeenty of ways to be happier. Think about it like this. A non-balding person's list of things could improve their happiness happy would include mental things like cognitive reappraisal, behavioral things like enjoying a hobby, chemical things as simple as getting more sun, etc. A bald person's list of things to make them happier still has all those things. It just also has hair on it (unlike you or me, teehee).
In my post on how to be more attractive, I openly admitted that you probably still wouldn't end up as attractive as you would be with hair. The important part wasn't becoming as attractive as you were, but becoming as attractive as you can be now. That is exactly what I am proposing here! If you wound up on this forum in the first place, then not having hair bothers you. That is going to handicap your happiness, but trying to do the rest of the stuff on the "how to be happy list" will go a long way to making you as happy as you can be.
1. First off, remember that this is a mental game.
Being happy is all in your head. In fact, all reality is only what you perceive it as. We're not in f*cking Philosophy 101, so don't try to read too deep in to that. All I'm saying is that the first step to being happier is wanting to be happier. Wallowing in sadness is unavoidable from time to time when you're balding, so when you need to do it, do it. Let out a good cry. Feel a little sorry for yourself. Because f*ck, no one else will, you might as well.
But when you're done, keep one thing in mind: ruminating all day on your baldness will give you about as much hair back as three applications a day of pure, 100% snake oil. You need to stop eventually. Basically, you need to think about something else. When you're trying to come out of those depths, it won't just happen. You have to claw your way out. A good way to start is to try to think about the good things in your life. And if there aren't any of those (you poor, poor man), then at least try to think of things you like. List all your favorite cars in your head or something. Or your favorite places. Your favorite people. Whatever it is, just think happy thoughts!
I can already hear some people saying, "How can I think happy thoughts when my life is so shitty?!" Well, that is a sad thought. True as it may be, quit f*cking thinking it.
2. For the times you just can't get your mind off things, you'll need something else to do it for you.
Sometimes, when your down in those depths we talked about, trying to claw your way out, your bloodied fingernails lodged in the walls, your lungs exhausted, your brain near collapse, sometimes you just can't get out by thinking. On those occasions, you need to get out by doing. You need to have a hobby that you can turn to, for relaxation, for productivity, and at very least for distraction.
One bad thing about balding is that there are huge areas where it is much harder for us to find some positive reinforcement. By that I mean that it is much harder for something to work out and show us that we're not big, dumb losers. Not having that positivity is as close to being fatal as you can get, 'cause it kills you inside (as some of the more dramatic, though strangely truthful, posters here have put it). For that reason, you should pick a hobby that produces some sort of results. This can range from doing something that you will visibly improve at (like exercise or marksmanship) to actually producing something (like building...whatever it is that people build). If the thing you want to be costs money and you're thinking it's too expensive, well, stop. This is your happiness, man; it's f*cking priceless.
Oh, and remember to pat yourself on the back. Hell, when you're doing really well at whatever it is you choose to do, remember to show someone. If you start doing this thing every time balding bums you out, you should be doing it a hell of a lot. You should get damn good at it. Brag a little.
3. Chemical things!
I'm gonna be honest right off the bat here: I don't actually know much about this. But let me explain what I mean. Happiness, in the end, is just chemicals. You think that hair makes you happy, but in reality, the only things that make you happy are serotonin and dopamine. Finding ways to get your body to release these things is like finding cheat codes to happiness. Again, I don't know much about this topic, so here are some articles to read:
About sunlight: http://www.viva-lite.us/blog/health-...losely-linked/
Very interesting. If you didn't know, sunlight makes you happy. Also, don't worry about cancer, more people die of vitamin D deficiency related diseases than of skin cancer anyway. Just be responsible. Knowledge is power.
About...other things: http://healthland.time.com/2011/06/1...lth-long-term/
Now, I've yet to try this, and I'm not sure if I can even legally recommend it. But I am gonna try this, and I pre-recommend it. 'Cause why the f*ck not? You're already depressed anyway, what could it hurt?
Well, those are the ones I've heard about. Has anyone else heard about any other ways to naturally increase those chemicals? I and everyone else here could probably benefit. I encourage you to share.
But all in all, it's important to remember that you can still be happy. Yeah, maybe you can't be as happy as you could with hair. I will even give in to the prevailing pessimism for a second and admit that I think you definitely won't be as happy as you would be with hair. But god damn it, there is still some happiness out there for us! Just try to get your head straight, start considering a rewarding hobby right now, and learn more about hacking into your brain and being happy, despite all your reasons not to be!
(WARNING: If as you were reading this, you thought, "This guy is just a naive dipsh*t, he doesn't understand, I can't be happy," then by shear merit of having that thought, you are right. You can't be happy if you don't want to be. Don't act like I don't know what you're going through. I'm right there too. You can do this, if you are willing to try. Corny ass warning over.)
04-26-2012 08:52 AM
Davey Jones
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorpion
I think the only way to be happier is to do drugs or drink alcohol. For real.
Not gonna lie, from time to time getting a little crunk is the answer. Only answer? No. You crazy, man.
04-26-2012 10:44 AM
Tracy C
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorpion
I think the only way to be happier is to do drugs or drink alcohol.
You are seriously mentally ill. You are just not hooked up right.
04-26-2012 12:55 PM
Davey Jones
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorpion
Next time do your homework before flaming me.
To be fair, she never disagreed with the idea that drugs can make you intensely happy for short periods of time. She said you were unhinged. So exactly what homework is she supposed to be doing? It's common knowledge that you're unhinged, man.
Now please, people, can we discuss ways to improve mood! And to give credit where credit is due, drugs are one way to do that. Some more temporary than others. I'm wondering, where are the people hear who have tried shrooms that can agree or disagree with the article on that I posted?
And anyone should feel free to discuss non-drug related ways to feel better. Contrary to Scorpion's typically pessimistic ranting, there are one or two other ways to improve mood than just abusing drugs and banging supermodels.
04-26-2012 01:18 PM
mpb47
Running will work wonders for you. I actually get kinda of high afterwords..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Davey Jones
Just a little while ago, I wrote a post on here that I thought could help some people out. I remember it started with the assumption that you were balding. So, here's a quick question, are you still balding? Yes? ...f*ck, me too. Well hell, might as well write another post.
Balding, it won't kill you. It's way too nefarious for that. That would be too obvious a condition. A balding person might even get some sympathy, which would be much too sweet. So no, balding won't kill you, but it will still do something pretty bad: it will rob you of your happiness. And it does it pretty well. How many other forums have the admins step in to remind everyone not to commit suicide or suggest that others do so? Yeah, it gets that bad. I'M LOOKIN' AT YOU SCORPION.
So how can you be happier? The number one answer here would be to have hair, I guarantee it. Well, sorry, no one can give you your hair back, yet. But what you should understand is that there are pleeeenty of ways to be happier. Think about it like this. A non-balding person's list of things could improve their happiness happy would include mental things like cognitive reappraisal, behavioral things like enjoying a hobby, chemical things as simple as getting more sun, etc. A bald person's list of things to make them happier still has all those things. It just also has hair on it (unlike you or me, teehee).
In my post on how to be more attractive, I openly admitted that you probably still wouldn't end up as attractive as you would be with hair. The important part wasn't becoming as attractive as you were, but becoming as attractive as you can be now. That is exactly what I am proposing here! If you wound up on this forum in the first place, then not having hair bothers you. That is going to handicap your happiness, but trying to do the rest of the stuff on the "how to be happy list" will go a long way to making you as happy as you can be.
1. First off, remember that this is a mental game.
Being happy is all in your head. In fact, all reality is only what you perceive it as. We're not in f*cking Philosophy 101, so don't try to read too deep in to that. All I'm saying is that the first step to being happier is wanting to be happier. Wallowing in sadness is unavoidable from time to time when you're balding, so when you need to do it, do it. Let out a good cry. Feel a little sorry for yourself. Because f*ck, no one else will, you might as well.
But when you're done, keep one thing in mind: ruminating all day on your baldness will give you about as much hair back as three applications a day of pure, 100% snake oil. You need to stop eventually. Basically, you need to think about something else. When you're trying to come out of those depths, it won't just happen. You have to claw your way out. A good way to start is to try to think about the good things in your life. And if there aren't any of those (you poor, poor man), then at least try to think of things you like. List all your favorite cars in your head or something. Or your favorite places. Your favorite people. Whatever it is, just think happy thoughts!
I can already hear some people saying, "How can I think happy thoughts when my life is so shitty?!" Well, that is a sad thought. True as it may be, quit f*cking thinking it.
2. For the times you just can't get your mind off things, you'll need something else to do it for you.
Sometimes, when your down in those depths we talked about, trying to claw your way out, your bloodied fingernails lodged in the walls, your lungs exhausted, your brain near collapse, sometimes you just can't get out by thinking. On those occasions, you need to get out by doing. You need to have a hobby that you can turn to, for relaxation, for productivity, and at very least for distraction.
One bad thing about balding is that there are huge areas where it is much harder for us to find some positive reinforcement. By that I mean that it is much harder for something to work out and show us that we're not big, dumb losers. Not having that positivity is as close to being fatal as you can get, 'cause it kills you inside (as some of the more dramatic, though strangely truthful, posters here have put it). For that reason, you should pick a hobby that produces some sort of results. This can range from doing something that you will visibly improve at (like exercise or marksmanship) to actually producing something (like building...whatever it is that people build). If the thing you want to be costs money and you're thinking it's too expensive, well, stop. This is your happiness, man; it's f*cking priceless.
Oh, and remember to pat yourself on the back. Hell, when you're doing really well at whatever it is you choose to do, remember to show someone. If you start doing this thing every time balding bums you out, you should be doing it a hell of a lot. You should get damn good at it. Brag a little.
3. Chemical things!
I'm gonna be honest right off the bat here: I don't actually know much about this. But let me explain what I mean. Happiness, in the end, is just chemicals. You think that hair makes you happy, but in reality, the only things that make you happy are serotonin and dopamine. Finding ways to get your body to release these things is like finding cheat codes to happiness. Again, I don't know much about this topic, so here are some articles to read:
About sunlight: http://www.viva-lite.us/blog/health-...losely-linked/
Very interesting. If you didn't know, sunlight makes you happy. Also, don't worry about cancer, more people die of vitamin D deficiency related diseases than of skin cancer anyway. Just be responsible. Knowledge is power.
About...other things: http://healthland.time.com/2011/06/1...lth-long-term/
Now, I've yet to try this, and I'm not sure if I can even legally recommend it. But I am gonna try this, and I pre-recommend it. 'Cause why the f*ck not? You're already depressed anyway, what could it hurt?
Well, those are the ones I've heard about. Has anyone else heard about any other ways to naturally increase those chemicals? I and everyone else here could probably benefit. I encourage you to share.
But all in all, it's important to remember that you can still be happy. Yeah, maybe you can't be as happy as you could with hair. I will even give in to the prevailing pessimism for a second and admit that I think you definitely won't be as happy as you would be with hair. But god damn it, there is still some happiness out there for us! Just try to get your head straight, start considering a rewarding hobby right now, and learn more about hacking into your brain and being happy, despite all your reasons not to be!
(WARNING: If as you were reading this, you thought, "This guy is just a naive dipsh*t, he doesn't understand, I can't be happy," then by shear merit of having that thought, you are right. You can't be happy if you don't want to be. Don't act like I don't know what you're going through. I'm right there too. You can do this, if you are willing to try. Corny ass warning over.)
04-26-2012 01:31 PM
sausage
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorpion
I think the only way to be happier is to do drugs or drink alcohol. For real. If you can't get your hair back, the only way to stimulate the feeling of pleasure is via sex with supermodels (you ain't getting that because you are bald, but maybe you can pay them) or good drugs like cocaine.
Hairloss affects us all very badly emotionally, but in your case I think you have severely been affected mentally and you need serious help. SEEK HELP NOW! We can't help you, go to your Doctor.
04-26-2012 01:46 PM
sausage
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorpion
Yes, I'm already seeking help. I'm trying to set up my own successful business and company and become a millionaire so I can afford hair transplant and surgeries to improve my looks to the point where I'm satisfied.
OMG u are loopy.
04-26-2012 01:53 PM
gmonasco
Scorpion is a troll. Do not feed the trolls.
04-26-2012 02:27 PM
Tracy C
Quote:
Originally Posted by Davey Jones
Now please, people, can we discuss ways to improve mood!
The sunshine does it for me in such a big way. Especially if I can be out on my bicycle with my girlfriends or busking in front of a coffee shop. Exercise also helps my mood in a huge way.
Sometimes I like to just sit down with a big bed-wetter cup of Starbuck's cafe mocha and write down all the things that make me feel happy. When I do that, one thing will remind me of another - and another - and another...
04-26-2012 08:19 PM
sch89
Ah, another awesome post by Davey Jones. Keep it up man it put a smile on my face. As far as the negativity...it's everywhere on this forum; the easiest way to deal with it is not respond...
04-26-2012 08:42 PM
jman91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scorpion
I think the only way to be happier is to do drugs or drink alcohol. For real. If you can't get your hair back, the only way to stimulate the feeling of pleasure is via sex with supermodels (you ain't getting that because you are bald, but maybe you can pay them) or good drugs like cocaine.
dude, we get it! all bald peoples lives suck, they need to take drugs to get happy blah blah... maybe you should take some time out, you've been working hard over the last week or so and i think you could do with a rest? i mean i'm willing to laugh at an intelligent and cunning troll, but this is just boring. seriously though, if it makes you feel better i'l pretend to be mad and and call you mental anyway if it makes you all fuzzy inside?
04-26-2012 09:14 PM
Davey Jones
Quote:
Originally Posted by mpb47
Running will work wonders for you. I actually get kinda of high afterwords..
I've noticed this on the rare occassions I've made myself run longer than 10 or 15 minutes. Very powerful, but it seems like you can't just run to the end of the street for it. How far do you typically run? It would be good to have a goal to shoot for for those of us looking to get high on something other than whatever Scorpion is smoking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracy C
The sunshine does it for me in such a big way. Especially if I can be out on my bicycle with my girlfriends or busking in front of a coffee shop. Exercise also helps my mood in a huge way.
Sometimes I like to just sit down with a big bed-wetter cup of Starbuck's cafe mocha and write down all the things that make me feel happy. When I do that, one thing will remind me of another - and another - and another...
Sounds like you try to hit all the bases. If you don't mind me asking, what's a list of things that make you happy look like? Making an actual list seems like a cool idea, but the folks here more resistant to being happy could use help starting. Care if we cheat off you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by gmonasco
Scorpion is a troll. Do not feed the trolls.
Point taken. But while you're here anyway, do you have any special tactics you like to employ to help your mood? Besides troll fightin', that is.
Like, when the day is getting sh*tty, what do you do to get out of that situation? Or to avoid it in the first place.
04-26-2012 11:02 PM
Tracy C
Quote:
Originally Posted by Davey Jones
If you don't mind me asking, what's a list of things that make you happy look like?
Care if we cheat off you?
Sure. I'll write one right now.
The way my Ovation guitar vibrates my tummy.
The cool and groovey sounds I can make with my electric guitar.
Busking in the park.
Going to recitals to see young musician's first public performances.
Going to art exibits of child artists.
Watching sidewalk art being drawn.
Coloring in coloring books.
Riding my mountain bike through the woods.
Hiking through the woods.
Trying to roller skate (or roller blade - I'm not very good at either LOL)
Talking with my girlfriends for hours at a time on the phone.
Doing my exercises in the park out in the open air and sunshine (FitDeck totally rules!).
Shopping for a new bag.
Picking out sunglasses.
Getting my nails done.
Having dinner with my parents.
Spending time with my sister and nieces.
I could keep going but I want to go to sleep now. :)
04-26-2012 11:50 PM
DepressedByHairLoss
Davey Jones, I appreciate your posts dude, since you really do get a lot of negativity on these forums. Hell, I used to go on the Replicel and Histogen sections all the time, but a lot of people on those sections are just so unnecessarily negative (and seem to enjoy being so), that I just stopped looking at those sections despite the high hopes that I have for Replicel and Histogen to ultimately cure hair loss.
I don't know though, it's tough to be happy with hair loss when you know that your life would be so much better if you had a full head of hair, and especially when so many around you have full heads of hair. As I've said previously, us hair loss sufferers are not asking for anything outlandish or fantasy-related. We're not asking to be rock stars, we're not asking to be models, we're not asking to be multi-millionaires. All we're asking for is something that we were born with, that we used to have, and is now being ripped away from us. The problem with me is that a lot of the activities that I used to enjoy were interrelated with having a full head of hair. I used to love to go to rock concerts (and even to see and play in local bar bands) and rock out and get crazy to the crazy rock/metal that I was hearing. It gave me such pride to know that I looked like the bands that I was seeing/hearing and it totally affected my love of the music. And having a great image is an integral part of being in these bands. I was brought up on all of those 80s metal bands and virtually every one of those bands were entirely composed of members with full heads of hair. Hell, people used to say I looked like Blackie Lawless of W.A.S.P. (to those who are familiar with him and his band) and I shudder to think who people think I would look like with my head of hair now. I used to look at album covers of so many of these bands and take pride in the fact that I used to look like those guys. Can't do that anymore. And in the rock n roll scene that I love to hang out in, most of the guys that play in these bands have full heads of hair so oftentimes if I'm not drunk or high, I feel really out of place in these clubs that I used to love go to back when I had a great head of hair.
Tracy, your list is pretty cool except a lot of the things on that list unfortunately do make me sad if I experience them. When I pick up my guitar now and look at various songbooks, I look at musicians pictured in these songbooks with their full heads of hair and I think to myself: this used to be me, but is no longer me anymore. Image is huge in rock n roll, as you probably already know. So there's an example of something that used to give me joy but now unfortunately gives me sorrow. The same thing with going out and basking in the sunshine. I used to love to get out of bed, get out, and see what the day has in store for me. But now everytime I go out into the sunshine, I am reminded of the life that I used to have (and love) and my looks were integral to the life that I lead. And now I feel like I will never be able to live that life again because I will never look the way that I want to again. Sorry everyone, I hate to be so damn negative.
With regards doing things that make me feel better, I've really been trying to get into the gym more consistently because weight lifting does make me feel better. I've always been a big guy; that's something I took pride in and worked hard to achieve. So I do like getting pumped up powerlifting and I've really tried to be consistent with that. I'm also very into American football and when football was in season, it gave me a great excuse to get out of the house and watch the games of my favorite team. Unlike the club scene, it's cool to wear a hat (of your favorite team) in the sports bars so I kinda thrived in that environment. I've consistently watched the games of my favorite team every year since like the mid 90's but 2010 was the first year that I barely watched any games because that was the year that I first noticed drastic hair loss. Missing the games of a team that I used to live and die for really made me feel terrible.
I don't know, I really try to stay positive but I keep coming back to the same answer: that my life would be so much better if I had a full head of hair. And it really gets me very upset that for a problem that affects so many people to such a drastic degree, we have very few and minimal options to treat it.
04-27-2012 09:12 AM
mpb47
Quote:
Originally Posted by Davey Jones
I've noticed this on the rare occassions I've made myself run longer than 10 or 15 minutes. Very powerful, but it seems like you can't just run to the end of the street for it. How far do you typically run? It would be good to have a goal to shoot for for those of us looking to get high on something other than whatever Scorpion is smoking.
Well started running in early march and have worked my way up to 2 miles - about every other day. I used to run before I got sick to keep the weight off so doing it again for same reason, plus it is fun. If running is not for you , you can get the same feeling riding a bike though you need to go 5 miles or more to get that good feeling. If you are concerned with your overall appearance (not just hair) then it would be a good idea to do some kind of exercise as you get older. I am going running at 5 pm tonight with a friend and coworker. She is an exercise freak and you would never know she is 60 years old just by looking at her.
04-27-2012 11:01 AM
Tracy C
DBHL,
The thing is to not write down the things that make you sad. You are supposed to write down the things that make you happy. If something you write down reminds you of something that makes you sad, think of something else that makes you happy and write that down.
Take care,
Tracy
04-27-2012 11:32 AM
Davey Jones
Quote:
Originally Posted by DepressedByHairLoss
It gave me such pride to know that I looked like the bands that I was seeing/hearing and it totally affected my love of the music. And having a great image is an integral part of being in these bands.
Well started running in early march and have worked my way up to 2 miles - about every other day.
Ah, that's not too bad. So it's not like you have to run a marathon or anything, people! That is a distance anyone can do if you just work into it.
04-28-2012 12:21 PM
clandestine
Meditate.
10char
04-29-2012 06:00 PM
DepressedByHairLoss
Hey Davey Jones. I'm not really into System of a Down; I like more of the traditional 80s rock like Motley Crue, Whitesnake, Cinderella, Guns N Roses, etc. All of those guys have full heads of long hair, or at least they did when they were my age. I'm familiar with SOAD's singer Serj Tankian though, but I believe he shaved his head due to his own choice, rather than him losing his hair and that's a huge difference.
