Look: if you think it's pathetic to contemplate suicide over hair loss, that's your prerogative. I disagree. But here's the rub: telling someone that's disclosed that they've contemplated suicide that their feelings are pathetic makes you an asshole. Period. Doing so accomplishes absolutely nothing other than potentially making the person feel ashamed and inflaming any risk that they do engage in self-harm. So if your need to feel superior outweighs the risk of aggravating someone else's alarming impulses, go right ahead. But it's a monstrously selfish thing to do.
This is an anonymous internet forum where people come to seek information, empathy, and reassurance. Why on earth do people feel the need to insult or degrade users that obviously feel depressed or vulnerable? That kind of casual cruelty simply mystifies me.
How was i pushing him to commit suicide? I was trying to get him to realise that taking his life over such a stupid issue isn't worth it. You have a go at me for that, yet when others who are like "Yeah bro i understand i might slit my wrists too" post. No one says anything, yet that's encouraging. Don't have a go at me, i don't want anyone to commit. I've had friends who had suicidal thoughts and the last thing you need is people telling them it's okay and an acceptable thing to do, so don't talk down to me.
08-25-2012 12:26 PM
SoothSayer
Quote:
Originally Posted by johnbath
How was i pushing him to commit suicide? I was trying to get him to realise that taking his life over such a stupid issue isn't worth it. You have a go at me for that, yet when others who are like "Yeah bro i understand i might slit my wrists too" post. No one says anything, yet that's encouraging. Don't have a go at me, i don't want anyone to commit. I've had friends who had suicidal thoughts and the last thing you need is people telling them it's okay and an acceptable thing to do, so don't talk down to me.
Many of the posters on this blog, in addition to going bald, are likely suffering from a mental condition called body dysmorphic disorder. BDD makes its victims suffer from debilitating compulsions and obsessions relating to their physical appearance, to a degree that is inconceivable by other people.
Telling a person with BDD that it is idiotic to care so much about hair loss is about as effective as telling somebody it is stupid that they have bronchitis and they should get over it.
08-25-2012 02:15 PM
25 going on 65
My last post probably should have said "and those who can't identify but sympathize."
Yes I probably do have BDD.
08-26-2012 04:27 AM
johnbath
Quote:
Originally Posted by 25 going on 65
My last post probably should have said "and those who can't identify but sympathize."
Yes I probably do have BDD.
Dude, i wasn't trying to be a dick towards you. I'd just hate to see someone kill themselves over hairloss
08-26-2012 10:04 AM
win200
No one was accusing you of deliberately encouraging suicide. What we're saying is that when someone is obviously feeling some pretty acute depression, calling their feelings pathetic isn't going to help. I'm sure you mean well, but it's incredibly counter-productive. Someone just can't snap out of feeling depressed, so all you've done is possibly add feelings of shame by calling labeling their emotions pathetic. What most sufferers of depression and persons experiencing suicidal feelings want is for their feelings to be taken seriously and for someone to express support and sympathy. Putting them down, as greatly as you feel that a "tough love" approach is effective, simply makes them more likely to act on their inclinations. Period. There is an enormous body of work in clinical psychological that supports this contention. So please, just stop deploying the rhetoric that you've chosen. It does not work, in the overwhelming majority of cases, in discouraging self-harm; quite the opposite.
08-26-2012 01:14 PM
25 going on 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by johnbath
Dude, i wasn't trying to be a dick towards you. I'd just hate to see someone kill themselves over hairloss
That remark wasn't towards you, it was just a correction to my earlier post + a response to SoothSayer's comment on bdd.
