Perspective from a forty something on hair loss.

That's good that you're married/with someone and have a great sex life.

My head is very strange shaped. Short hair makes it much worse. Are you in your forties?

That's where I am. It sucks it being old. And my partner isn't sexually attracted to me when
I have short hair. No question about that.

If my women left me, I would go to the gym. But I would definitely get a transplant, and stay
on hair medication, because of bumps that show on my head.

Had buzz cuts before. But it looks strange with anything shorter than an inch/2.5 centimeters.

Yep. In my forties. I don't think it sucks being older. I have a pretty good life because of my experiences. I'm in better shape than I've ever been. I will say, I'm motivated to stay in shape, partly to help me feel better about myself. I can't control my baldness, but there are other things I can control, and that keeps me motivated. Taking care of your teeth, staying clean from drugs and alcohol, taking care of your body and mind. All that helps believes it or not. also, my head is not bad. No bumps or moles/birthmarks. No scars either. Actually looking forward to greying. Hoping it makes me look more distinguished.

Also, meditation, sun gazing, no fap. Believe that.

Dude. Thank you for this. Even though I was fortunate enough to be a good candidate for a hair transplant, I do know that everything you're saying is true. So many of our struggles and shortcomings in life can be transformed and reimagined into something not so crippling if we just have the right attitude and perspective - both things that we have complete control over.

Thank you for your words and your wisdom. I really hope many of the young hair loss sufferers who think their lives are over see this and gain a new perspective. There is always another way to live if we only choose to be open to its possibility.

__________________
I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My views/opinions are my own and don't necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff.

So sick of hearing that kind of filth from someone with a hair transplant.

Such a disgusting post. Do you have pictures, or are you just another liar wanting more people to stay bald? The women interested in bald guys are ugly, have bad jobs or are just plain stupid. You've accepted mediocrity, that is all your post is about. You probably think Harry Potter is the pinnacle of western culture, I doubt for one second you'd have a decent job or the ability to have a legitimately intellectual conversation.

Your "fun" with 3/10s is mediocrity. What you did was settle for second best. There's nothing inspiring about what you said, you've just accepted a shitty life.

First off, I have nothing but compassion for guys suffering from MPB who aren't candidates for HTs and/or don't respond well to meds. It sucks, and I'm grateful every single day that I was able to get a hair transplant. But if I hadn't, I assure you I would've found a way to not let it defeat me - just like I've done with other struggles and challenges life has thrown my way.

And yes, I was fortunate enough to be a good candidate for a HT, but that doesn't disqualify me or any other HT recipients from trying to encourage those without a current solution from possibly seeking an alternative perspective. The advice Spitfire gave in this post doesn't just apply to MPB; it applies to any area of our lives that cause us pain and suffering: breakups, divorce, death of a loved one, loss of a job, or just having a crappy day. Sometimes life isn't what we want it to be and things get thrown our way that we don't like. That happens to every single person that walks this earth, and none of us can escape it. Nobody is saying we should roll over when life gets rough. Fight if you want. Look for solutions. Try to change the situation. But sometimes, there's nothing you can do to change things. Sometimes, life is what it is. People get cancer, and they deal with it. People get MS, and they deal with it. A man's wife walks out on him, and he deals with it. People lose their hair, and they deal with it.

It's interesting to me that you seem to think that people who suffer from MPB are the only ones who suffer, and that if you have hair, your life is perfect. You don't know what goes on in my life or Spitfire's or anyone else's. The principles he talked about in his post are principles that I apply to my life on a daily basis when things get rough. You also seem to think that because I had one successful hair transplant that I'm out of the woods. I'm not. I don't respond well to Propecia and recently stopped taking it. I'm concerned about my crown. What if I got a HT too young? What if my hairline is too low? What if I need a second, third, or fourth hair transplant? What if I run out of grafts? Stop believing that you're the only one who gets dealt blows by life. Every single person on this forum has stuff happen to them that could turn them into an angry, bitter person... But the point of life is trying to figure out how to live a happy life in spite of these things.

From where you sit, I may have it a lot better than you. But believe it or not, in spite of my hair, my life isn't perfect. But every day I have a choice to focus on what's not working in my life or focus on what is. If you don't want to listen to any other points of view on how to handle MPB when it's clear that you're stuck with it, then don't. But there is another way to live if you want to. You don't have to be bald and miserable, and that's all Spitfire was pointing out.

And lastly, what you said about Spitfire accepting a "shitty life" is rude, disrespectful, and completely out of line. This forum needs to be a place where people can discuss all different ways of handling MPB. This is how he coped with it, and from where I sit, it seems like a much better approach than the one you're choosing. If you want to be negative and feel like your life is over, go for it. But don't knock others who find a way out of their misery.
__________________
I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My views/opinions are my own and don't necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff.

pkipling, what made you a good HT canndidate? You say finesteride doesn't 'work' for you, and if you have ALA, won't you lose the rest of your hair gradually?

"It's interesting to me that you seem to think that people who suffer from MPB are the only ones who suffer, and that if you have hair, your life is perfect. You don't know what goes on in my life or Spitfire's or anyone else's. The principles he talked about in his post are principles that I apply to my life on a daily basis when things get rough. You also seem to think that because I had one successful hair transplant that I'm out of the woods. I'm not. I don't respond well to Propecia and recently stopped taking it. I'm concerned about my crown. What if I got a HT too young? What if my hairline is too low? What if I need a second, third, or fourth hair transplant? What if I run out of grafts? Stop believing that you're the only one who gets dealt blows by life. Every single person on this forum has stuff happen to them that could turn them into an angry, bitter person... But the point of life is trying to figure out how to live a happy life in spite of these things. "

My point in particular is that those with hairloss should fight against it and go the transplant route. I'm a 22 year old norwood 3 diffusing in a 5a pattern, and despite having sex with 10 girls a year, having a 70k salary at a proper finance job my age and 60k in savings, EVERYTHING becomes corrupted and sickening when you have baldness. There are ****ing homeless men with better hair than me, and every day I FEEL like a homeless man because of my hair. I finally put the deposit down for a transplant I had the money for for 3 years with Koray Erdogan, and FINALLY I feel satisfied with life. I'd tried long enough with your stupid, ignorant idea of acceptance (despite the fact that you have a transplant, so did the opposite) And lmfao about "is my hairline too low?" What a STUPID thing to say. I've NEVER seen anyone with a transplanted hairline that is "too low" and I've seen THOUSANDS. If you need a second, third or fourth transplant, who CARES? At least you experienced your youth with hair. You can always mix the crown and midsection with beard and body hairs or use toppik, the most important aspect is the hairline.

And yes, bald men with shitty jobs in their 40s on lower salaries than me who never experienced sleeping with 18 year olds consistently did settle for mediocrity. Without hair, you are inevitably a lesser human, and people are genetically wired to see you as genetically inferior to others. It is instinctual and seen as a sign of poor health that will affect your attractiveness, and also your job prospects. Bald people statistically have lower salaries. You are the one suggesting my point about MPB is invalid, and you do so with a full head of hair because you have a transplant. You're the one trying to attack free speech because of this RIDICULOUS post without any photos basically telling people to accept a genetic defect. That isn't helping people to become a stronger person, it's telling them to accept their present state of failure, mediocrity and genetic inferiority.

"You don't have to be bald and miserable, and that's all Spitfire was pointing out. "

You don't, but until you get a transplant and get on treatments, you will be inferior and not be reaching your potential. To accept less than your potential is to accept mediocrity, and that is the truth. Being a 20 year old who can't have sex with anyone younger than 30 is a failure, and NO ONE would be happy about that.

Great question Rizaan. A lot of different factors go into being a good candidate for a HT and unfortunately, it's not as easy as some people seem to think it is. Here are some of the things you need to take into consideration when looking into whether or not a hair transplant is right for you:

1) Genetics/Projected hair loss: How predisposed are you to losing your hair, and to what extent? How prominent is it in your family? One thing that is helpful is that surgeons can check the miniaturization levels of your hair and get a tentative "roadmap" of sorts to project where you may be heading with your hair loss. This will help determine how conservative or aggressive the surgeon can be with your hairline/overall placement, or if it's even a good idea to do at all.

2) Age: How young were you when you first started losing your hair? How fast is it advancing? As a general rule, a person who starts losing their hair at 20 needs to be a lot more cautious than someone who starts losing their hair at 40, for example.

3) Donor Supply/Hair Type: How thick is your hair and do you have enough density to be able to get the coverage you need? How is your hair type? Is it fine or coarse? Is is straight, wavy, or curly? These all factored in to how big of a challenge your procedure will be, and something you need to take into account when choosing a surgeon.

4) Finances: Hair transplants are expensive! Not only that, but most people won't need just one hair transplant. They'll most likely need a second one and often a third or a fourth. Is this something you're financially ready for? Not only that, but is this something you want to spend the rest of your life tackling? It's not only a financial commitment, but a time commitment as well. It's often something you'll have to deal with for the rest of your life. And if you do need multiple hair transplants, do you have enough donor hair to make this work? If not, are you willing to try beard hair/body hair? Do you even have beard and body hair to use? It's also very important to note that while there are "cheap/affordable" options out there, you don't want to bargain shop for a hair transplant. Yes, there are fantastic doctors oversees that are more affordable than those in the US, UK, and Canada - but in general, you don't want to make a decision based solely on price.

5) Expectations: This is key to having a positive experience. The fact of the matter is, Hair Transplants aren't a magical cure. No matter how good a surgeon is, there are limits to what we can achieve. It's called science. Not everyone will be able to achieve a Brad Pitt hairline/density, and to pretend otherwise is dishonest and cruel. If one can't properly manage their expectations and accept the reality of their own circumstances, then you shouldn't move forward with a HT. You'll only end up more distressed and miserable in the long run.

6) Response/Willingness re: medication: Being willing to take Propecia is big factor, and a decision each man needs to make for himself. If you have very severe hair loss and aren't willing to take Propecia, then you may need to be more conservative with your approach to a HT than someone who will take the drug. Also, see how you respond to it. Do you have side effects? Is it something you want to take for the rest of your life? These are things to think about.

7) Risks: Like it or not, every single medical procedure on this planet comes with risks. Results are not guaranteed. Yes, you can greatly increase your odds of a positive outcome by doing solid research and choosing a surgeon with a proven, consistent track record. But even the best surgeons in the world have less than stellar cases. This isn't just with hair transplants, but any medical procedure you have done ever. To think otherwise is naive. Is this something you feel comfortable with?

So as you can see, this isn't an easy, black and white issue. Pursuing a hair transplant should be taken very seriously and given lots of consideration. And what the original poster was pointing out is that for many men, a very reasonable/logical conclusion for them is that they're happier not going through all of this. For me, based on my genetics, family history, age, donor supply, etc., I felt like I was a good candidate and decided to go through with it. Were/are there risks involved? Absolutely. But I went for it, and I'm glad I did. Am I out of the woods? Not by a long shot. I'm in this for the long haul, as is anyone else that goes down this road and you need to make sure you're okay with that.

As for what Jean Luc is saying, "Without hair, you are inevitably a lesser human," and whatnot? Maybe it's because I'm a little older and have been through some shit in my life, but that's such BS. I guess what this ultimately comes down to is different philosophy on life. If someone subscribes to that mentality, then by all means, suffer and feel insignificant and worthless until you get the hair that you want. Personally, I don't think that's healthy. And frankly? Sometimes it's NOT POSSIBLE. Yes, getting a successful HT can do wonders for your confidence. But it's not necessary. And frankly? Sometimes it's just NOT POSSIBLE. I know plenty of highly successful bald men who are funny and charming and popular and happy with beautiful wives and lives that most men would be jealous of. That's a fact. Not a myth.

Rizaan, I hope all of this makes sense and gives you a clearer picture. I don't know your situation or circumstances, but I do know that whatever they are, being happy is a choice we can all make right this second.... Wishing you nothing but the best no matter what part of the journey you're on.
__________________
I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My views/opinions are my own and don't necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff.

Thank you for the long reply, pkipling.
I started losing hair at 18 and am almost 21 now; diffuse thinner + MPB. I just recently started taking topical finesteride.
I know what you're saying is true, but me being young, my mind just cannot get over the insecurity of losing hair no matter what advice you give me. It would have been different if this happened in my late 30s or 40s but I was one of the unlucky few to start suffering at such a young age.

I'm not saying that one can't have a fulfilling and successful life while bald, I'm saying that you will simply have a life that is lesser than your potential. You make a transplant sound more complex than it actually is, probably because you're fine yourself and would rather be above others and allow other men to suffer.

I do agree with the majority of what you said about expectations, meds and risks however.

"being happy is a choice we can all make right this second..."

And no, being happy is not a choice. What a stupid and ignorant thing to say. Not everyone has a beautiful hair transplant like yourself, although if they need it they should get one. If you were so happy before your transplant (and you weren't even that bald anyway) then why did you get one? You got one because life is shitter as a bald man.

You're welcome, and thank you for taking the time to validate my views. Best of luck to you.

Hi Jean. I'll answer a few of your questions. I assure you I am not lying about anything I've posted. I have no reason to. I also have no reason to wish anyone stay bald to make me feel better about myself. In fact, I, like you, would prefer hair like everyone else on this forum. If a safe cure came out tomorrow, I'd be one of the first in line.

I'm not sure why you've attacked me, or my wife, or for that matter, the love interests of anyone else on this forum. She is not ugly or stupid, and she does in fact have a good paying job at a company she has been with for close to twenty years. And, she is beautiful, inside and out. I haven't accepted mediocrity - I was just lucky enough to find my life partner at a young age.

Also, I've never read any of the Harry Potter books.

On settling for a shitty life - I think that's a matter of perspective. Your idea of an ideal life, and my idea of an ideal life are completely different, and that's perfectly fine, and in fact obvious considering our age differences and today's culture. I'm not here to judge you or your goals and aspirations. I hope you achieve them and find happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy. Do whatever it takes. But at the least,intellectually, you should be able to recognize that not everyone wants or needs the same things in life as you to be happy.

Again, if you take a look back at what I wrote, I wasn't telling anyone to accept baldness. I was telling them to do what makes them happy, and that there are different ways to stay positive should you choose to accept that treatment options are not the route you want to take. Hair transplants are a priority for you, and I totally get it. Your young and single with disposable income. But for others who do not have the financial means, especially those who put the needs of their families before themselves, it's not an option. Also, alot of people don't respond well to chemical treatments, so that may not be an option either.

Finally, based on the clear prejudice you have against men who have accepted their genetic fate, it wouldn't matter what picture I post - you would not approve.

Best of luck.