im broken....going to throw in the towel soon

I have done everything but my shit androgen sensitive body will not tolerate anything, sides on keratene, sides on fin, cannot tolerate minox, sides on RU,

The main side is weight gain, i get horrible love handles that really **** up my body shape on anti-androgens, its such a bizzare side effect cause my libido is still largely ok on RU and keratene etc.

Im sick of this shit, i work out, i try to eat healthy? for what, to have a fat womans body, fk this

And the most traumatizing part, I have been cursed with having amazing hair, think elvis, thats what my hair looked like 2 years ago and still does to some extent when on aggressive treatment, I just cannot tolerate anything other than great hair
Here is the other interesting bit - i have insanely aggressive mpb, my maternal grandad bald before 25, uncle same, cousin on moms side same story all rocking thick sides and slick bald tops

Someday I will get a ht, but im an impatient man who needs great hair, even though im still nw2, i might very soon transition into a system and then take it from there but this thought also depresses me

**** i loved my hair, why god why,
i hate my life, this is mental trauma to a level i didnt think existed knowing that i am helpless and all treatments i try my body rejects