I have no choice; I am entering cocoon mode.

[Proper]

Yeah, I hate having to go out in public when I feel uncomfortable or anxious. I just hope it gets better as my treatments take hold and I make improvements. I don't believe I am familiar with your situation; where are you in your battle with hair-loss?

I'm 23, turning 24, nw 2 about 3-4 years back, started diffusing I believe a year and a half ago, started propecia a year ago, hair thickened back to almost original state but hairline is still ****ed at nw2 (classic v shape), but it doesn't look like it if I grew my hair out about 3-4 inches. Started minoxidil almost at two month mark, nothing changed but still using just cause. I am very very critical of my appearances right now and if my hairline recedes more or if my hair diffuses again then FML, I'mma murk some bitches.

I'm not blaming aesthetics for my falling out with friends. That is more-or-less an unrelated issue and has to do with them bailing on me when I needed them. What I do blame on aesthetics, however, is my unwillingness to move on in my life and find new friends or pursue new women. I feel I cannot until I am happy with my appearance. You could be right, in that there is something else about me off-putting (I don't consider my appearance off-putting. I think I am good-looking and have potential, it's just that certain issues are holding me back from being as great as I could be). People have told me that I have an abrasive personality and that I appear snobbish before they get to know me. I think I give bad first impressions.

Ahaha. Just smile a bit and look like you're interested from time to time and you'll "appear" friendlier. Thats what I do but whenever I meet new people and they tell me their jokes and shit, I couldn't give a rats fking ass about it unless I thought they were cool in the first place. And yes, the appearance thing for the most part, especially at this age, is for me, so fking crucial. I feel like its not fair that people didn't get the chance to meet me when I had nice hair (sounds fking lame but whatever, fk it). I dated a girl that started putting on pounds and I told her its not fair that sh'es not maintaining what she had before and that all the guys that dated her before me got her in a better state than I did. I mean c'mon what the ****. Then she critiques my hairline cause I always made jokes about it and I told her, **** you, if I could do something about it, I ****ing would and you know what, I acutally am. But for you? You can lose the ****ing weight but instead you don't and sit around do shit all so who's the one thats the sloth bitch. Pisses me off.


With my hairline in this state, it makes me more of a critical, judgemental, strict person. I was carefree til I started now have to caring for my hair diminishment (if thats even a word), and if someone ****s with me, its over for em. I feel like I am more tempermental than before, I tick really easily. I don't feel empathy except laugh and make a mockery of everything. I really couldn't give anything anymore. I'm more for "I'm doing me" thing. Yes, I do humor people if I like them but now its really hard to come off genuinely friendly in the first place unless they come at me with a positive vibe first. I can't find better words to say what I want to say right now but its just something that you will know if you develop these same kinda tendencies.

[Exodus]

You should explain this part. It sounds like you're trying to blame aesthetics while ignoring a real issue because aesthetics is easier for you to accept/fix. Why did you have a falling out with your friends? And would being fitter and having read more articals on the internet really have prevented it?

He's got a point. I mean you can attain all the internet knowledge in the world, but you gotta put it into practice, which I gather seems to be the hard part.

I empathise on the social anxiety though, minus the super-confident, Im sure it's affected us all on here at some point.

[Aames]

Yeah man. I know how that feels and I do believe it works. I usually try to opt for indoor labor jobs and I feel comfortable and safe. Recently, a buddy of mine got me doing sales in public at a bath/kitchen/vanity stuff type store. I walk around the back a lot and avoid customers and constantly stare at myself in the mirrors adjusting my clothes. The only time I am caught talking to customers is when my supervisor comes around. But **** is it nerve wracking and uncomfortable to talk to people all day. Its an hourly plus commission job and Im content with just the hourly pay if I get to avoid people all day. Give me some shit to do in the back stockroom you ****ers and stop putting me on the ****ing floor. The only advantage is its nicely ac for the summer so I can look my best all day long walking around in a dress shirt, chinos, and high tops. Lol

Yeah, I hate having to go out in public when I feel uncomfortable or anxious. I just hope it gets better as my treatments take hold and I make improvements. I don't believe I am familiar with your situation; where are you in your battle with hair-loss?

You should explain this part. It sounds like you're trying to blame aesthetics while ignoring a real issue because aesthetics is easier for you to accept/fix. Why did you have a falling out with your friends? And would being fitter and having read more articals on the internet really have prevented it?

I'm not blaming aesthetics for my falling out with friends. That is more-or-less an unrelated issue and has to do with them bailing on me when I needed them. What I do blame on aesthetics, however, is my unwillingness to move on in my life and find new friends or pursue new women. I feel I cannot until I am happy with my appearance. You could be right, in that there is something else about me off-putting (I don't consider my appearance off-putting. I think I am good-looking and have potential, it's just that certain issues are holding me back from being as great as I could be). People have told me that I have an abrasive personality and that I appear snobbish before they get to know me. I think I give bad first impressions.

[Davey Jones]

I recently had a falling-out with several friends so I basically have two left and they live a good three hours away now.

You should explain this part. It sounds like you're trying to blame aesthetics while ignoring a real issue because aesthetics is easier for you to accept/fix. Why did you have a falling out with your friends? And would being fitter and having read more articals on the internet really have prevented it?

[Proper]

I know social isolation cannot solve things. But god, my issues with myself just make me feel so anxious in public settings. Today for instance, I really am liking my hairline (I think I am finally starting to see results from duta but that's for another time and thread) and I have very little acne. I FEEL FANTASTIC! I know however, that this is fleeting and soon my acne will return and I'll find something else to worry about. Thus, I will return to being unable to speak to people. I hope to enter a permanent state of liking my appearance through cocoon mode. It offers me the opportunity to stop focusing on social progression; something that causes me a great deal of fear and stress.

Yeah man. I know how that feels and I do believe it works. I usually try to opt for indoor labor jobs and I feel comfortable and safe. Recently, a buddy of mine got me doing sales in public at a bath/kitchen/vanity stuff type store. I walk around the back a lot and avoid customers and constantly stare at myself in the mirrors adjusting my clothes. The only time I am caught talking to customers is when my supervisor comes around. But **** is it nerve wracking and uncomfortable to talk to people all day. Its an hourly plus commission job and Im content with just the hourly pay if I get to avoid people all day. Give me some shit to do in the back stockroom you ****ers and stop putting me on the ****ing floor. The only advantage is its nicely ac for the summer so I can look my best all day long walking around in a dress shirt, chinos, and high tops. Lol

[Aames]

I'd say move somewhere new (Mpls?), get some job that forces you to interact with co-workers and maybe customers/clients (barristo, barbacking, etc.).

I'll admit, it's really difficult to just get up and move because of cost and time it takes to facilitate the transition. For me, moving to the city was the best thing I ever did. I got a job at a bar where I made new friends, in addition to the couple I made on campus. In the rural place I was before, I was just so depressed and bored.

Work, while necessary for money, is such a great way to meet people who you have something in common with (you have the same position/responsibilities, put up with the same shitty customers, etc.). It really defuses the whole "getting shut down thing", as far as friendship is concerned.

I can not stress how much better my life became when I changed I forced myself to enter a new crowd in a new environment. I'm sure it would have been considerably more difficult if I hadn't had the support of my family financially, but hope you can make the same transition with or without that.

I'm moving this summer to a new city. It, however, is causing me anxiety because both of my roommates (Now former friends. I am very angry with them. This goes back to my notions of rejection. When people reject me, I hate them for it. I can't help it; it's the way I think and perceive things. To contrast, I LOVE people that give me praise and attention. I would do anything for them) bailed on me and I now have to live alone.

Cocoon mode is a bad idea.

Instead, I recommend finding something to get good at, that follows the following criteria:
People respect you when you're good at it
You enjoy it
It puts you in contact with other people

Some ideas:
Find a musical instrument. If you're confident, choose one like flute or clarinet, as this will put you in contact with more females. Otherwise, guitar or piano.

A sport. Running and swimming are recommended. Team sports such as soccer, basketball, and football as well. These have the added benefit of making you more aesthetic.

A Job. Lifeguard, salesperson, barista, waiter all put you in contact with other people. Any job that builds camaraderie with your co-workers. Plus, make money.

I know social isolation cannot solve things. But god, my issues with myself just make me feel so anxious in public settings. Today for instance, I really am liking my hairline (I think I am finally starting to see results from duta but that's for another time and thread) and I have very little acne. I FEEL FANTASTIC! I know however, that this is fleeting and soon my acne will return and I'll find something else to worry about. Thus, I will return to being unable to speak to people. I hope to enter a permanent state of liking my appearance through cocoon mode. It offers me the opportunity to stop focusing on social progression; something that causes me a great deal of fear and stress.

[TheLaughingCow]

Cocoon mode is a bad idea.

Instead, I recommend finding something to get good at, that follows the following criteria:
People respect you when you're good at it
You enjoy it
It puts you in contact with other people

Some ideas:
Find a musical instrument. If you're confident, choose one like flute or clarinet, as this will put you in contact with more females. Otherwise, guitar or piano.

A sport. Running and swimming are recommended. Team sports such as soccer, basketball, and football as well. These have the added benefit of making you more aesthetic.

A Job. Lifeguard, salesperson, barista, waiter all put you in contact with other people. Any job that builds camaraderie with your co-workers. Plus, make money.

[BigThinker]

I know, man, I know. I just get so depressed seeing other people with their friends and gf's. I recently had a falling-out with several friends so I basically have two left and they live a good three hours away now. I want to make new friends but the idea of rejection kills me. Someone saying that I am not good enough for them (be it for friendship or relationship) would tear me apart. I just don't ****ing get it. I have had a very attractive gf, I used to get comments on my appearance about girls finding me hot/attractive/whatever (this was before my acne and my eating problems), etc. but I am just completely unable to meet new people anymore. My personality must be incredibly off-putting or I have sunk so far into social retardation that there is no escape. I feel this is all necessary before I have the confidence to move on and meet others. I don't know anymore.

I'd say move somewhere new (Mpls?), get some job that forces you to interact with co-workers and maybe customers/clients (barristo, barbacking, etc.).

I'll admit, it's really difficult to just get up and move because of cost and time it takes to facilitate the transition. For me, moving to the city was the best thing I ever did. I got a job at a bar where I made new friends, in addition to the couple I made on campus. In the rural place I was before, I was just so depressed and bored.

Work, while necessary for money, is such a great way to meet people who you have something in common with (you have the same position/responsibilities, put up with the same shitty customers, etc.). It really defuses the whole "getting shut down thing", as far as friendship is concerned.

I can not stress how much better my life became when I changed I forced myself to enter a new crowd in a new environment. I'm sure it would have been considerably more difficult if I hadn't had the support of my family financially, but hope you can make the same transition with or without that.

[Aames]

Agreed.

While I respect your commitment, you can boost all of those facets of your life while maintaining (or even promoting) a social life.

I know, man, I know. I just get so depressed seeing other people with their friends and gf's. I recently had a falling-out with several friends so I basically have two left and they live a good three hours away now. I want to make new friends but the idea of rejection kills me. Someone saying that I am not good enough for them (be it for friendship or relationship) would tear me apart. I just don't ****ing get it. I have had a very attractive gf, I used to get comments on my appearance about girls finding me hot/attractive/whatever (this was before my acne and my eating problems), etc. but I am just completely unable to meet new people anymore. My personality must be incredibly off-putting or I have sunk so far into social retardation that there is no escape. I feel this is all necessary before I have the confidence to move on and meet others. I don't know anymore.

[BigThinker]

This is a bad idea man

Agreed.

While I respect your commitment, you can boost all of those facets of your life while maintaining (or even promoting) a social life.

[nynex]

This is a bad idea man

[Aames]

I am sick of failing in the social sphere. I clearly have defects that need significant attention. I am cutting out all sources of my pleasure except for TV and music. The rest: video games, carbs, alcohol, (real) social interaction, etc. are all completely out the window. I WILL transform both body and mind. BTT will be my only social outlet for the next few months (this may be the most pathetic statement ever). I will spend my time outside of school and the gym by either reading or watching TV series. We're all gonna make it, brahs.