I Donít think I would care if I Already had a wife?

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  • blowmeup
    Senior Member
    • Nov 2008
    • 142

    I Donít think I would care if I Already had a wife?

    Hi Iím new here. I wanted to get other peopleís opinions on something Iíve been thinking about. Since Iíve lost my hair Iíve spent a lot of time thinking about why hair matters so much, why do I even really care anyways? Iím gonna level with you, I wasn't that good looking to begin with

    But it always seems like I was accepted by women and never had trouble having girlfriends. As I have been living with hair loss for close to 10 years I have become acutely aware that many women find hair loss to be a repellent. Now that may just be me because like I said, I wasnít too good looking to begin with, but I donít think so.

    In all honesty, I don't think I would care at all about my hair loss if I already had a wife who would love me no matter what.

    So Iím curious, is a big pat of your hair loss distress stemming from the thought that women will no longer find you attractive? Would you still care if you were married to Carmen Electra?
  • AlopecianMuse
    Bald and Beautiful
    • Oct 2008
    • 20

    #2
    Hi,
    I would love for you to check out the following link...Spencer started a great thread that may be of interest:

    Comment

    • blowmeup
      Senior Member
      • Nov 2008
      • 142

      #3
      thank you, i'll check it out

      Comment

      • Bobman
        Member
        • Nov 2008
        • 34

        #4
        When I was married, my wife accepted my baldness. And for a while, I thought I did too. But deep down...in the place that always felt how my early balding wasn't fair...way down there, well...I just wasn't content with it. I never did it to get women, or show off. I did it for me...and even if I would have been married to a hottie like Carmen, I still would have had my ht.

        Comment

        • AlopecianMuse
          Bald and Beautiful
          • Oct 2008
          • 20

          #5
          Originally posted by Bobman
          When I was married, my wife accepted my baldness. And for a while, I thought I did too. But deep down...in the place that always felt how my early balding wasn't fair...way down there, well...I just wasn't content with it. I never did it to get women, or show off. I did it for me...and even if I would have been married to a hottie like Carmen, I still would have had my ht.
          I love your honesty, and that you did it for you first.

          Comment

          • toyman
            Junior Member
            • Nov 2008
            • 2

            #6
            Hair First -- Women Later

            woman or not, I want my hair back. For me it's more than about dating it's about what I look at each morning in the mirror.


            Originally posted by blowmeup
            Hi Iím new here. I wanted to get other peopleís opinions on something Iíve been thinking about. Since Iíve lost my hair Iíve spent a lot of time thinking about why hair matters so much, why do I even really care anyways? Iím gonna level with you, I wasn't that good looking to begin with

            But it always seems like I was accepted by women and never had trouble having girlfriends. As I have been living with hair loss for close to 10 years I have become acutely aware that many women find hair loss to be a repellent. Now that may just be me because like I said, I wasnít too good looking to begin with, but I donít think so.

            In all honesty, I don't think I would care at all about my hair loss if I already had a wife who would love me no matter what.

            So Iím curious, is a big pat of your hair loss distress stemming from the thought that women will no longer find you attractive? Would you still care if you were married to Carmen Electra?

            Comment

            • PayDay
              Senior Member
              • Nov 2008
              • 604

              #7
              Originally posted by toyman
              woman or not, I want my hair back. For me it's more than about dating it's about what I look at each morning in the mirror.
              I agree. It is true that it makes a difference to most women, but I want to like what I see in the mirror. I don't like the idea if being a bald person. I don't think it makes me shallow or vein. I just want to look the way I want to look is if at all possible. This is why I take Propecia and am considering my other options.

              Comment

              • Lefty76
                Junior Member
                • Nov 2008
                • 21

                #8
                I have thought about this at great length and it's a great question.

                I would say first of all that every individual is different. I'm sure there are some basic reasons but beyond that it varies. For me, I have extensive scarring on my head from an accident when I was 18 years old. It was fine until my hair started thinning and the scars are becoming more and more visible.

                I often wonder if balding would bother me to the extent that it does w/o the scarring and I dont think it would. I would probably just shave it and be content with that, not happy. The combination of the scarring and the balding has really compelled me to do something about it. I don't want to sound like a conceited a-hole but I did consider myself a good looking person. I modeled when I was in my early 20's and simultaniously as my hair started to thin I stopped modelling.

                I went from being a 10/10 to, in my eyes now, a 5/10 and for me that is what hurts. I don't know that if never considered myself good looking it would bother me as much but I know that today is REALLY bothers me. I know it's just hair, and scars tell a story, etc etc. I also have had gf's tell me that they dont care about hair or the scars. I believe them but it's still hard for ME. I feel that if the technology is there to reduce my scarring through surgery and give me a better head of hair, why not.

                I'm now taking propecia and plan on a HT in the next few months. Wish me luck.

                Comment

                • TeeJay73
                  Senior Member
                  • Oct 2008
                  • 238

                  #9
                  Good luck Lefty! Hey man, if you are set on an HT and select a surgeon from the IAHRS, you'll have a kickass HT. Spencer has successfully coagulated the world's best HT surgeons.

                  Take it from me! I went to Bosley ar first, when I was uneducated and dumb in the hair loss area -- and it sucked. Then I went to Doctor McAndrews of the IAHRS -- and he has changed my outlook and my life. It's so nice to see guys like you on here that are making the right decision the FIRST time, and not having to suffer from making mistakes with their well-being (expensive bogus solutions, unethical doctor,s etc) before finding the world's best solutions to hair loss. Suffering from hair loss is enough --- we don't need these industry ripoff artists making it any worse. Thank god there's Spencer scoping out the land mines for us.

                  And last thing ... dude, it's ok to say you're good looking. So what? In my opinion, stuff like that only comes off in a bad way when it has turned into arrogance. But it doesn't seem you're like that at all. Have a kickass HT and get some chicks. :-) And get me one too. :-)

                  Comment

                  • TeeJay73
                    Senior Member
                    • Oct 2008
                    • 238

                    #10
                    PayDay, I'm with you all the way man. Worrying about our hair doesn't make us shallow or vein or anything of that nature. It makes us human.

                    And one comment I thought of as it relates to men's hair and its attractiveness to women. This may be a stretch, but so be it, especially coming from my ZERO experience with women. But when it comes to pure physical appearance, women seem to be at least partially attracted to uniqueness and rarity. If 2/3 (thats almost 7 out of 10!) men suffer from hair loss, then by definition, men who don't suffer from hair loss are unique and rare, and, from a physical perspective, attractive. They stand out from the crowd, and draw the attention of women.

                    Comment

                    • PB_
                      Junior Member
                      • Dec 2008
                      • 2

                      #11
                      I was 45 when I had my first HT, had been married for over 20 years and am still married to the same woman (25th wedding anniversary coming up soon). Being bald still bothered me even though it didn't bother my wife (or so she said anyway).

                      Comment

                      • Jkel
                        Member
                        • Oct 2008
                        • 70

                        #12
                        Originally posted by PB_
                        I was 45 when I had my first HT, had been married for over 20 years and am still married to the same woman (25th wedding anniversary coming up soon). Being bald still bothered me even though it didn't bother my wife (or so she said anyway).
                        We all care about going bald. Who wouldnít? I think for some men it is easer if the have a woman, but would they choose the same woman if they didnít have any hair loss? Are some settling because we fear we canít get anyone better?

                        What do you think?

                        Comment

                        • PB_
                          Junior Member
                          • Dec 2008
                          • 2

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Jkel
                          but would they choose the same woman if they didnít have any hair loss? Are some settling because we fear we canít get anyone better?

                          What do you think?
                          You are right - when you're bald you have lower self esteem, so it's not so easy to approach the better looking women. The better looking women aren't neccessarily better people though, so being bald can be a blessing in disguise. The guys I know that had the hotties ended up getting divorced because lots of other guys found their wives attractive too

                          Comment

                          • andreasg
                            Junior Member
                            • Nov 2008
                            • 2

                            #14
                            Originally posted by PB_
                            You are right - when you're bald you have lower self esteem, so it's not so easy to approach the better looking women. The better looking women aren't neccessarily better people though, so being bald can be a blessing in disguise. The guys I know that had the hotties ended up getting divorced because lots of other guys found their wives attractive too
                            I think that losing my hair effected me more than any other event in my life. I have a great women in my life at this time, but it was not easy for me to approach the women that I really desired when I was younger because I was insecure.

                            My hair loss still bothers to the point that I am considering having a hair transplant sometime next year. My girlfriend says that she does not care, but sheís not talking me out of the surgery if you know what I mean

                            Comment

                            • SpencerKobren
                              Administrator
                              • Oct 2008
                              • 398

                              #15
                              Originally posted by andreasg
                              I think that losing my hair effected me more than any other event in my life. I have a great women in my life at this time, but it was not easy for me to approach the women that I really desired when I was younger because I was insecure.

                              My hair loss still bothers to the point that I am considering having a hair transplant sometime next year. My girlfriend says that she does not care, but she’s not talking me out of the surgery if you know what I mean
                              Hey Andreasg.

                              We had Neil Strauss on the show last week speaking about how he got past his hair loss, and some other less than perfect physical attributes, to become one the the most famous "pick up artists" in the world today. It's a very empowering interview! We'll be posting it on the site this week.

                              Check out this link:
                              Finding your “inner game” is what separates those who allow hair loss to paralyze their lives, from those who choose to turn adversity into self evolution and opportunity. This week on The Bald Truth, Spencer and Dave will be joined by New York Times best-selling author Neil Strauss, a man who not only chose to...
                              Spencer Kobren
                              Founder, American Hair Loss Association
                              Host, The Bald Truth Radio Show

                              I am not a physician. My opinions and knowledge concerning hair loss and its treatment are based on extensive research and reporting on the subject as a consumer advocate and hair loss educator. My views and comments on the subject should not be taken as medical advice. Always seek the advice of a medical professional when considering medical and surgical treatment.

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