View Full Version : Who really knows about your HT?

03-11-2009, 07:40 PM
I have found this forum to be great reading when Iím down and in need of some encouragement. Over the past 8 weeks I read a number of postings and the questions and answers are very good and it truly helps! I mostly read the posts just to hear others and what they are going through but I now have an issue that I have not seen posted on this forum. Iím sure HT patients have posted something similar but I havenít seen it.

First and foremost, please understand like everyone, my situation is unique to me. Iíll try to explain it as best I can but some details will be sparse. I had my first procedure 5 years ago and I was lucky in that I had a lot of existing hair, so NOBODY knew I had it except my doctor and my wife. The only person who could figure it out was my stylist who cut my hair for the next 5 years with NO IDEA! I waited 3 months for the scar to subside to even go in for a cut, and again she never knew. Over the years, I began to thin so I had my second procedure about 3 months ago and except for some minor issues, things are great. I have a lot of hair coming in and once again I waited 3 plus months to see my stylist.

Within 30 seconds of her cutting my hair she said, ďWhere did this scar come from, I donít remember it?Ē My new scar is much longer on both sides unlike the first, so I had to come clean. I talked with her for about 5 minutes explaining that no one can know, and I know this sounds crazy but my career depends on it and thatís the godís honest truth. I asked her if she ever knew over the years, she had no idea. She was very excited, checking out my scar and some of the new growth and kept saying ďI think this is great.Ē I actually felt invigorated telling her, it was strange to talk about it with someone else and I kept saying, please donít tell anyone. She cuts or knows so many people I work or associate with. She assured me over and over she would not and she too knows what I do for a living and fully understands why. She tried to calm me by saying this is similar to doctor client privilege, but as everyone knows all people talk. The problem was only beginning.

Over the next two weeks Iíve had sleepless nights, severe anxiety and depression over the idea that someone actually knows. I realize I am lucky in the fact that my transition was smooth and I timed my procedures and my hair loss unlike others who cannot, but again, my situation is unique to me. I walk though work each day wondering if so and so now knows and the stress is mounting. The only person I can talk to is my wife and she just canít relate, as everyone whoís had a procedure understands. She doesnít understand the mental side of it. I just donít know how to cope with the fact that someone else knows after so many years and itís something I canít take back. Has anyone else been through something similar? HELP, IDEAS, COPING STATEGIES, ANYTHINGÖÖÖÖ

03-11-2009, 08:29 PM
Think about it this way Xman. When a female goes in for a breast enlargement surgery, do you think they're paranoid about who knows and how she is going to conceal it? Heck no, she is going to show it off and she should because she feels good about herself. Same goes for you, it sounds like you've achieved a good head of hair, even your hairdresser speaks highly of it, so show it off and be proud of it. HT surgery is becoming more and more common everyday and you shouldn't be ashamed of the the fact that you got one. That's just my take.

03-12-2009, 05:29 PM
Thanks Nitro, you made a lot of sense in your post. I'm trying to look at it in those terms, I am very proud of my results and the look is very natural. Its just strange having someone know after so many years of anonymity.

03-12-2009, 08:14 PM
Hey Xman,

Welcome to the forum! First let me say that everyone here understands what you’re going through. We all just deal with things differently.

I began losing my hair at the age of 21, and it effected me in a very big way. I couldn't even bring myself to sit in a barber’s chair to have my hair cut because I was so ashamed of beginning the balding process at such a young age. I didn't get my hair professionally cut or styled for 12 years, and believe me, if you look at some of my older pictures, it shows!:)

I’m the “hair loss guy” and I still won’t go on camera without my head full of makeup and a ton of hairspray, so you’re preaching to the choir my man.

The thing is, I’ve built my profession around my obsession, so in a way I’ve freed myself from living in hiding. I still hide my hair loss visually, but I’ve created the opportunity to reveal myself to the public without being judged too harshly for it. Expressing and documenting my emotional struggles has been extremely cathartic for me and has enriched my life in ways that are difficult to articulate.

I think Nitro hit the nail on the head. The fact that you've been able to get away without people realizing that you had any work done for so many years speaks volumes about the quality of your results. Nobody judges, or criticizes you for doing something positive for yourself, they only seem to judge if something goes wrong or doesn't looks quite right.

Don’t sweat the small stuff Xman, it sounds like you're in a great position and if someone you know does find out, believe me they couldn’t care less.

Hope this helps!

03-13-2009, 09:53 AM
We can all understand wanting the fly under the radar when having a hair transplant. Iím activity researching, but Iím doing it on the down low. I think that if my results were natural and made me look a lot better then I wouldn't care who knew once it was all said and done.

03-15-2009, 04:08 PM
Thanks to all who have replied, your comments have really been helpful in coping. I am still experiencing anxiety but I have been re-calling some of the points made within this post and it has helped. I am lucky, its looks great and Spencer's comment about people passing judgement is right on. If it looks bad, people will talk, if it looks good most people really don't care. I guess that's just our society.