View Full Version : Why are the effects of hair loss on a person not recognised by society ?

08-05-2011, 09:04 AM
I am now 28 and at the early stages of MPB, and it maybe has been happening for around two years, it is only now starting to afect the way i style my hair because temples look a little thinner, but it's only noticeable to me at this point. I have spoken to family about it and i even mentioned how much it is getting me down, but they are all really flippant about it and say things like " oh get over it " even when i needed someone to just talk to about it they just didn't want to know, and to be honest it made me pretty angry.

Now i will admit something here that is a little embarrassing, i was so down about this one day i actually cried about it, now i'll tell you now i do not cry often, i have been through some bad things in my life and dealt with them, but for some reason this is just different maybe it's because i have no control over it, it was not long ago, there is a girl i really like and we were talking about hair loss in men and i asked her how she felt about it and she said in a nice way though, that she didn't find it attractive ( remembering that my hair loss isn't noticeable yet ) now she is a really nice girl never horrible to anyone and was just being honest, but this did get me down and i haven't asked her out because of this, because i know i'll be there one day.

I feel like i'm losing my identity, my youth, and my confidence has been smashed, but yet people just make light of it, even a stupid joke that is about as original as a brick on the head, it scares me that people will see me in a different way, i mean i would love to be able to say screw it buzz my head down and get on with it, but i'm really stuggling, sorry if this seems like a rant, but i have to let it out somewhere.

08-05-2011, 11:27 AM
I hear what you are saying. Make no mistake, it is a shitty predicament, but it's not a death sentence. Look into the treatments and see what you feel happy with. If you decide to take action, then you may be suprised how much it makes you feel better. It will give you back some hope and an element of control. Beyond that it is just taking it day by day and enjoying life as much as you can. I say make a play for that girl too!! Trust me, I highly doubt she has even clocked an issue, particularly as you yourself describe it as hardly noticeable. Also, if you don't, someone else will!!!

Best of luck to you either way though!

08-05-2011, 08:54 PM
8868alex's comment was nicely put.

The effects of hair loss for modern hair loss sufferers, notice that it is put down by people with a full head of hair, or older men, who didn't have the options we have now. The worst person I can ask for advice from, actually SHOULD be the best person...My father. He's like the last person I would talk to about my hair loss problems. I talked to him once when I was in my late teens, and the advices were horrible..he just started naming bald celebs and baseball players, and bald successful people...it was just, horrible, definitely not the advices I was looking for but I got his point though. He's been bald for so long and he's from a time where there was no meds for hair loss, just wigs. So his advice is to just take your bald head and live with it.

My mother has a full head of hair, no balding whatsoever. She's more helpful with me, but still says things like just be happy, it's not a big deal, but she doesn't understand cause she has a full head of hair. So I am basically like you, I have nobody to talk to about this, nobody that feels where I am coming from, that really KNOWS what i'm going through. I only have hair loss forums like these, which are helpful and comforting, but they are not getting me back any hair.

08-05-2011, 08:58 PM
About the crying. I have cried too, I have cried my self to sleep like a little 5 year old girl because of this hair loss curse. So you're not alone. Of course by now i'm older and I can no longer cry about this. Crying won't get you anywhere.

08-05-2011, 09:06 PM
generally speaking, most people make light of someone else's problem. they also tend to HATE listening to someone else talk about their personal problems. to them, making light of the issue is another way of quickly ending the conversation. LOL.

i do feel your pain though. i think we all do here on the TBT forums.

08-05-2011, 09:10 PM
generally speaking, most people make light of someone else's problem. they also tend to HATE listening to someone else talk about their personal problems. to them, making light of the issue is another way of quickly ending the conversation. LOL.

i do feel your pain though. i think we all do here on the TBT forums.

That's true. Although there are a few people who genuinely care about your problems. I only know one friend, he does not suffer from hair loss, but he does care and see how it affects me.

No matter what personal appearance problem a friend approaches me with, I always have an open mind and try to help and converse with him/her as much as possible about their problems. I never put some one down and tell them to forget it about it, just because I don't have their problem and can't relate to them.

08-05-2011, 09:54 PM
I think the worst part is, and maybe it's a lack of self-confidence (which I sure as hell had a lot more when I had full hair), is I can't get over how much better looking one looks, with a full of head of hair. Now I know what you're thinking, "duhhh! No sh*t you look better with a full head of hair." But what I mean is, the difference is huge.

The only thing that has saved me so far is Toppik. I have some in my room, car, work, you name it. And I carry a small 1 EVERY WHERE i go socially, club, bar, party, friends houses. It is depressing, no doubt about it. I never thought that by the year 2011, we'd have no freakin cure. And I know, we should be glad we have our health, family, etc, and believe me, I am, but it just hurts.

08-06-2011, 04:46 AM
Patiently -

Just reading your (and the other guy's comments) made me realise something. The point you make about talking to your father and others is actually an interesting one. For years the notion of losing one's hair has for the vast majority of people seemed inevitable. Therefore, the plight was the same but there was never any solid reason to hope for a reprieve and acceptance was the only option. No doubt, this value had been passed down through generations. However, within the last ten years the social landscape has changed. There are reasonably effective drugs and viable surgical options now and slowly (albeit painfully so), the perceptions are changing. I'm from the UK and over the last few years there are an increasing number of male celebrities who have undergone surgical hair restoration. I would say about five or six (Rob Brydon, James Nesbitt, Calum Best, etc) All have been open, all have been careful how they went about the process and all look better than before. What is more, it appears that the vast majority of the public did not even notice and if they did, I have not seen any evidence of public criticism. Wayne Rooney has been the lastest example. If you know anything about this guy then you know he is no stranger to the tabloid sleaze machine, yet he has handled his procedure with grace and courage. He pre-empted the pap's by announcing it and posting his own pre-op pics. I read a headline in the news the other day stating that his procedure had been a 30,000 waste of time as he showed no regrowth. The picture they showed of him was about 6 weeks (at the most) after the procedure. As any semi - edcuated reader would know, there ain't going to be much going on for at least 4-6 months. ****ing idiots should have researched this minor detail methinks!! I stated the "slide" when I was a teen and I'm now well into my thirties and through a combination of luck, slow loss and medical intervention I'm actually doing pretty well and I only really took the medical aspect seriously from about two years ago. I've seen many friends go from
a full head of hair to bald in that time. My only regret is that I did not have the guts to tell them what I was doing and how it could benefit them. However, as no one talks about it, no one ever let on it bothered them. I've gone on a bit, but Ill finish by saying that I think we are members of a transitional generation. We know the train has left the station but it hasn't arrived at the destination. A crap analogy I admit, but I think you get my drift. My one hope for all of us though is that we don't look back in 30 years and feel that we wasted too much of our lives stressing about hair.

I'll shut up now and give someone else a chance!