View Full Version : There's no going back, is there.

04-29-2011, 07:43 PM
I'm not the kind of person who is going to be making any respectable amount of money in his life. That's what being in the arts will get you. I wish I was good at something else. Other than singing and drawing, I'm more or less a useless human being.
The money that has been left for me – by my relatives, and certainly from my parents…whatever their hopes, or mine, for its use – most likely as a means to further my education, or buy my first house – will have to be poured into this pathetic battle with my self esteem and the desperate attempt to keep my identity. I KNOW that I can`t afford the best hair transplant in the world. This makes me…so crestfallen. I`ll never be able to afford a surgery with Dr. Cole or Wasson & Wong.

Histogen. It seems so promising, but who`s to say I`ll have any hair left to thicken by the time 2015 rolls around? I’ll be 28, my supposed “best years” almost behind me. By this time, I’ll be visibly balding to all my friends and acquaintances, unless I completely withdraw from my life.

You know what gets me the most? It’s the feeling of fraudulence – as though once I become bald, all my friends will think me unworthy of the attention I once had. Will I be seen as a cheater? I feel like one. I have no idea how to…feel honest. I feel so incomplete. I know that I’m becoming entirely undesirable as a physical specimen, and it’s making me feel disgusting. In fact, I never think I used to berate myself so constantly, almost unconsciously, so often, in my life. Moments pass where I realize I’ve been saying “You’re a piece of shit, stupid ****ing ****, failure, joke, nobody will ever love you again” under my breath, almost as if I was reciting a grocery list.

I don't know why today was any different than any other over the last year. Somehow it hit me like a ton of bricks - I really am going to be locked in this pathetic, laughable battle with my identity and my dignity for the rest of my life.

04-29-2011, 08:57 PM
so you're 24 now? of course you have no money. you haven't done anything except graduate from college i'm assuming. it's crazy to think that you have your entire career all mapped out. you're 24, you don't know your earning potential. anyway, find a job if you haven't already and start saving. you can also take out loans for your hair treatment.

i know how you feel though. hair loss sucks, period. get on finasteride and minoxidil if you haven't already.

04-29-2011, 09:13 PM
Hang in there man... things will get better. Time goes quick. Age is just a number. You will feel like the same person, just with hair... soon enough. Live your life for now.

It sucks, but life wasn't ever meant to be fair.

05-01-2011, 12:00 PM
Dude, you think you have it bad. I'm way way way worse off than you. I'm much older than you. I have nothing. Never could get any education because of many problems in my life including self-esteem. I'm an intelligent person and I know I had a lot of potentials if I didn't have all the shit in my life. That's why I feel so angry and bitter. I'm not a "loser" by choice. You HAVE time to change directions in your life. I DON'T. The best years of my life are behind me and I never got to enjoy one ****ing damn day of them. Not even one. And I barely make enough to survive and the future looks very bleak for me.

If they come up with this "promised" treatment for this god damn curse (hair loss) in the next 3-4 years you'll still be in your late 20's. Even if it takes 10 years you'll be in your 30's, which is still not too bad.

Anyway, H&W arent NOT the most expensive doctors, man. I found their prices to be lower than all the others I've been too (in the USA). I remember paying 2 1/2 times to the bastards at Bosley back in '99.

I don't know. Maybe you can go back to school - IF YOU DON'T HAVE REASONS THAT PREVENT YOU LIKE I HAD- and study something else. Life without money isn't life. It's just like being in a labor camp. No, it's much much worse.

But yeah, life is NOT fair. Life is cruel.

05-01-2011, 04:26 PM
I apologize if my moment of weakness appears insultingly maudlin. I didn't mean to offend anyone, and I do realize that my situation is nowhere near the worst. This board is, to me, a safe place to let out feelings we've all experienced, but have no opportunity to voice in our daily lives.

05-01-2011, 04:33 PM
I went through this shit also when I first came here...

****ing hair loss. I have come to grips with it now though. My regimen worked and my hair improved a bit... but if it got worse I don't know what would have happened.

05-02-2011, 12:31 AM
Whynot, no nobody is offended. You didn't say anything offending or bad. I'm just saying you're probably in a better situation than many others. I think the least advantage you have over some -like me- is the age. While I'm not over the hell or anything, I still don't have the opportunities that someone your age has. Even by the time u're 28, the best years of your life aren't behind you.
And when it comes to hair loss, there's a better chance that you might be still considered young when they finally come up with some damn treatment, that is unless those MFs really **** up and fail again in producing anything useful or they just keep saying "in the next 5-10" like they have been doing for the past 20 years.

But one thing I do understand -and most people dont- is that each one of us sees his problem as the biggest and most important problem there is. So, I do understand your despair. I just hope that histogen or whoever just come up with something good in the next couple of years or we're all screwed.