View Full Version : Hair loss, solutions, and dating

02-12-2016, 03:34 PM
Warning: There's a rant coming your way....

I was listening to a podcast a couple of days ago, and the guest was a woman who gives love/dating advice to men and women in need of some romantic guidance. One of the questions that came in centered around a woman who had been on three dates or so with a guy. They were really hitting it off, she goes home with him and they sleep together, and the next morning, she realized that he was wearing a "toupee" because his hair was a little loose. She freaked out.

This lady was horrified and had no idea how to process this information. She couldn't believe he didn't disclose this beforehand and how deceptive it was of him to not tell her about this and if he could keep this from her then what else could he possibly be hiding from her.... He's probably a serial killer as well and has a wife and three kids along with 4 other mistresses and he probably doesn't really work where he says he works and is he really 38 or is he lying about that as well because I can't believe a word that comes out of his mouth because HE'S WEARING A TOUPEE AND DIDN'T TELL ME.

Geesh. Of course, she didn't say all of that specifically, but that was the general idea and was a great representation of the train of thought I tend to see people (particularly women) go down in our society. For some reason, they view this as a betrayal of some sort and then go into this whole ordeal about how (or if) they should bring it up.

I don't get it. Women can wear makeup and hair extensions and get all dolled up every single day and it's not an issue. But if a man is insecure about his hair loss and decides to find some sort of solution, he's mocked and vilified by these same women who he probably really wants to impress anyway and the hair gives him that extra jump in his step. And if we're being really honest, most of these same women probably wouldn't date him if he disclosed before the first date that he wears a hair piece. (Speaking of which, can we get rid of the term "toupee" please? The negative connotations with this word are out of control.) And the bottom line is - does it even really matter?

Granted, the guest who was giving advice did give rather decent feedback. In short, she felt like the caller was being overly dramatic and that in the grand scheme of a relationship, the fact that the guy didn't tell her about the hair piece really isn't a big deal. She should be more focused on how the guy treats her, is he kind, does she have fun with him, etc. And if his hair piece is a deal breaker, she's gonna be a hard one to please in relationships.

However, she then proceeded to tell the caller that if she wanted to she could address it with him and express that she likes him the way he is and he doesn't need the hair piece. I wanted to scream in my earbuds, "But what if he's not doing it for you? What if he wears it because it makes him feel better and he likes it for himself? What if it makes him more confident? Let the man live in peace please." I mean, it had only been 3 dates - can the guy have a little space?

Then the host and the guest made some rather light hearted jokes about toupees and hair loss and what not, and while it wasn't explicitly mean spirited, it did portray the rather large amount of ignorance that society still has when it comes to hair loss, hair systems, hair restoration, etc. I wanted to call in and give them a crash course on hair loss and the possible solutions/fixes, but the show was pre-recorded. Plus, it probably wasn't the time or the place....

Anyway. That's my rant. Thanks for listening (or not). :cool:

And with that in mind, do any of you have any stories (positive or negative) about your hair loss/transplants/hair pieces/etc. in terms of dating?

I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My opinions/comments are my own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff.

02-12-2016, 03:49 PM
This is actually a good post. You're right, women can do WHATEVER the hell they want - botox, face lifts, makeup, breast enhancement.. and it's just normal and in most cases distasteful to even comment on it. I tried explaining the grief behind my hair loss to my ex gf (ex for a good reason)... it was to no avail. It was just a waste of time. Her f*cking response was, "I would make it a NON-ISSUE and shave it bald". REALLY?!?! So, if by aging myself 10 years and having a huge HT scar on the back of my head, I will be making it a "non-issue". She didn't take it seriously AT ALL. When I finally built up the strength to not wear any hair spray and have her play with my hair, she pet it and then said by doing so, her arm was in the way of the movie we were watching. I felt humiliated. I talked to her about it on THREE occasions after nine months of dating, and when we broke up she said, "well, I had to deal with your hair issues and I never said anything"... of course this was after 9 months of completely spoiling her and breaking my back for her and her baby. Oh yeah, she thought it was too self conscience of me to have gotten an HT, while she had two breast jobs and wore tons of makeup.

My last gf just said, "it's hair, it's totally superficial" to which I responded, "the way you look in society is not superficial. anyone that says that is full of sh*t. She just dismissed it and said if it bothered me, I should shave bald too.

My family - "oh my God it's just hair" or "wear a hat" or "just shave it" - from my dad who's like 70 and meticulously combs the 60 strands he has left on the top of his head.

There needs to be more damn MPB awareness. One of us should start a website. I am sick of people's ignorance. We as men have somewhat destroyed this as a legitimate issue because of our self pride. There is no compassion for it. Men suffer in silence or become addicted to forums like this, where they feel they are listened to and can voice their grievances and emotional distress. It should BE KNOWN that 95% of men that are losing their hair, especially at a young age, suffer horribly... it should be COMMON KNOWLEDGE.