Some Thoughts on Baldness
There are a lot of different opinions on this site regarding whether baldness represents the end of one's life. Having mixed feelings about it, and having a sometimes negative view of baldness myself, I would like to offer some objective thoughts.
There are those who think that all bald men are ugly. This is an absurd statement. Depending on your headshape, facial features and body, you can look good even if you are bald. I have heard a few very negative comments on this forum stating that baldness is just flat-out hideous looking. I agree that pretty much any guy will look better with hair;however, that does not mean that some guys don't look ok bald. There are plenty of guys out there who have full heads of hair and who are unattractive. There are a myriad of things, which technically, are physical flaws. Some guys are bald, or short, or ugly, or fat or have big noses or ears. Where does it end? In the end everything is relative.
There are men who are bald and are, despite their lack of hair, more attractive than most men who have hair. Would you rather be bald and in shape or fat with a full head of hair? People cite the likes of Billy Zane, Andre Agassi, Michael Stipe etc to underscore the notion that some bald men look decent. The list of good-looking bald men is longer than that. The French soccer star Zenedine Zidane, who is famous for head-butting an Italian player during the 2006 World Cup, happens to be an attractive bald guy. If you look at pictures or video of him before he buzzed his hair short, you will notice that he began balding at a young age. Shit happens. Zidane is better looking than most men even though he is bald. Baldness does not necessarily mean the end of things.
Some guys tell men who are bothered by their hairloss to "man up" and deal with it. Well, that's a stupid thing to say in general because each man's hairloss affects his appearance in different ways. Some guys look like aliens if they shave their heads;they truly look abnormal. For a guy who looks ok with no hair to say something like that is ignorant of some guys' situations. Using Propecia, Rogaine, wearing a hairpiece or having a tranny performed are better options for many fellas. There is a segment of the male population who like the "macho" look, so they have no problem shaving the dome. Many of us don't want to look macho, we want to look natural and attractive;furthermore, looking macho or "tough" doesn't prove anything. In our image and stereotype obsessed culture, people often judge others on their "image" even though "image" is make-believe.
One of the things that has given bald men a bad reputation is the bald man who decides not to groom himself. If you are a Norwood 5 or 6, and you grow your hair out long on the sides but have nothing on top, you will look like a clown. You know how the typical circus clown is bald on top but has an afro on the sides? That's the sort of thing that gave bald men a bad reputation to begin with. If every bald guy looked like Agassi, Zane, Zidane or Stipe then our perception as a society about bald men would be more favorable.
As a guy who began balding when I was 17, and who was a Norwood 6 by 21, I can say that there are no easy answers for self-acceptance. I spent $10,000 on hairpieces between the ages of 21 and 24. I think the stress that premature baldness gave me may have contributed to my decline in physical health. Personally, I know how important it is to stay positive and try to be happy in life. Life is too damn short to be miserable forever. It wasn't until I was in my late 20's that I finally began to accept my hairloss. For those fellas who are younger, I can say that it usually gets easier with age. In fact, the older I get the better I feel. I will look better at 40 than I do now at 33.
There is a famous psychologist who stated a study on human happiness in one of his books. Women were asked to rate their attractiveness and they were followed later on in life. The study found that there was no correlation between looks and happiness. In other words, the women who rated themselves as unattractive were no more likely to be unhappy than women who rated themselves as attractive. I suppose there are lessons to be learned from this study. There will be women who are not attracted to you because you are bald;so be it. There are also women who are not attracted to guys who are assholes, bald, short, big-nosed,smelly, poor, ugly etc. Personally, I'd rather be a good man than be an asshole. I'd rather be bald and in shape than fat with B-cup sized boobs like many men. None of us is perfect;the question, or rather task, is to find the inner strength to make the most out of what you were given. Now, that's easier said than done; however, life goes by quickly and there is no telling how long any of us have to live. Any of us could die in a car wreck. It's important to focus on the future and distract yourself from your misery.You may be bald but you may also be handsome, intelligent, athletic, artistic etc. Everyone has some sort of talent;find it, and run with it...
Women have hair loss too!
I am a 45-year-old female. Get this, guys: Women suffer from hair loss too. Hormonal shifts can create male pattern baldness in women, adding years to their looks. It wasn't until I discovered the correlation between a high glycemic diet and stress that I could finally solve my problem. It took me 18 months to grow a thick healthy head of hair again. I had to eliminate 80 percent of the food I was eating. I wish I could say I had good self-esteem when my hair fell out, but I just felt ugly and scared. Women lose their hair too, they're just too scared to talk about it.
By the way, my daughter's father is 38 years old. He was shaved when I met him eight years ago. He shaved his head because it was thinning. I was completely paralyzed by how attracted I was to him. He is truly one of the hottest men I've ever seen. Most bald men are hot.
A very balanced view on baldness.... well done for posting it.
Also, good input from a female that baldness can be very attractive!
I dont have a problem with men who decide to shave their heads, take medications or have a hair transplant. As long as that decision makes handling their baldness easier then im all for it.
Unfortunately, you do get certain people who will moan about anything - 'shaved heads look ugly', 'medications dont work', 'hair transplants look rubbish'. That kind of talk is not only false, but can make already miserable young men become depressed.
That is a great and very thoughful post Weedwacker, thanks.
"Would you rather be bald and in shape or fat with a full head of hair?"
Definitely fat with a full head of hair. You can burn off old fat, it just takes discipline. I myself managed to lose around 3 stones in as many months, simply because I was tired of being 'short, fat and bald' - the gruesome threesome. The 'fat' label was the only one that was possible to eradicate.
You can't become taller or grow new hair. It is currently impossible. I began losing mine at 19 and I'm now 26. I've been at Norwood 6 for about 4 years now. If what you say is true, it will hopefully get better with age.
I thought getting leaner and fitter would have helped more. It did initially, but then you realise people still put you in the 'lesser member of society' category. I put the weight on after I started losing my hair - emotional eating was a crutch I guess. But now I look exactly like I did 8 years ago when I had girls flirting all around me, except now the only difference is I have a shaved head (which unfortunately for me is one of those wonky shaped ones).
And guess what? No flirting girls. I used to have to barely bat an eyelid. Now I have to practically chloroform them. I guess I'm going to have to start hanging around people in 30's/40's bars
What I definitely want to say to you and everyone here is please don't waste any more money on 'treatments' until an actual scientifically-proven CURE for creating and nurturing new hair follicles is developed and released. There is currently no pill, cream, oil, wig or hair transplant in the world that will give you back the full head of hair you once had. I live in hope that there will be one day, but I'm an all or nothing kind of guy, and at the moment, I choose nothing.
This is my first post. Thanks for those that have read it, thanks for listening even though it may have been a tad on the pessimistic side
P.S. I totally agree with the BS macho image thing. I was never one of those guys.
Thanks for the comments folks. You know, you can't please everyone. Here's something to add to the discussion:
Christiano Ronaldo is considered one of the sexiest men on the planet. He is one of the world's best soccer players. There was a picture posted of him wearing nothing but skimpy shorts and sandals. Women sent in there comments of his photo;half thought he was hot and some didn't. Some pointed out the fact that he shaves his legs(which he does for soccer)and they find that unappealing on a man. Some didn't like his sandals and shorts because they thought he looked "gay" in them. Now, Christiano Ronaldo looks like a greek statue;literally! He is ****ing ripped;lean and ripped. The muscle definition of his legs is insane;not to mention the veins because of his paucity of bodyfat. What is the moral of this? Well, women find many different things attractive;some of which is conditioned by the societies in which people are brought up. Much of the antipathy to baldness is cultural. Just as women wouldn't find men with clean-shaven faces attractive 5,000 years ago(because they woud have thought they looked feminine),women now(for the most part) are not attracted to ripped men with shaved legs. You really can't win, can you?
I think too many generalisations are made about baldness, especially by those who didn't have to start dealing with it by their teens or early 20s. I think those who began losing hair at an older age don't really understand the stigma; even if women in general didn't mind baldness, and to be honest most do, young women in their 20s are very unlikely to think the look is okay. The trouble is that it is a very conforming age, and bald men can't conform. They are, in short, abnormal.
Also, there is a hell of a lot of pressure on those of us in our 20s to adopt the Mr. Meatball head shave because it's the 'only fashionable option.' There is pressure on older men, but nothing like the pressure you get in your twenties. People with hair just make this assumption that it's the only acceptable option and therefore you're weird if you don't do it. No matter if you think it's the look from hell of course.
I have serious issues with shaving my head. Not only do I think shaved heads look crap, but I cannot justify the work involved. I currently get my hair cut once a month, it costs Ģ10 and it takes 30 minutes. My thin hair looks incredibly crap and I certainly don't know anyone else as balding as me who doesn't shave their head, but in my opinion I'll look just as crap with a shaved head, albeit I'll be conformist crap instead of weird crap!
So, that's why I don't do it. The very idea of spending 10-15 minutes every day ****ing about with a razor on my head for a look I can't stand is absurd. That's something in the region of 90 hours a year, just to look like an egg.
Bottom line, I look crap but it's a crap look that takes zero effort. Shaved head is a crap look that takes a lot of effort. And that's why I don't do it.
Shaving my head takes me no longer than five minutes per day, not a big deal to me. Fixed by 35 - you are in the ideal position to try the shaved look..... with the lack of social contact. Might be worth a shot - dont knock it till youve tried it
Waste of five minutes. That's the irony; baldness seems to demand more hair care than any other style! Hair loss has already claimed my looks, I'll be damned if it takes my time as well.
Five minutes every single day? Just to look like an egg? Forget it.
Oh cmon fixed.....you may look good shaven......give it a try : )
I vote we start a petition to get fixed to shave his head.
By StayStrongMen in forum Introduce Yourself & Share Your Story
Last Post: 12-06-2010, 10:30 PM
By NateDog in forum Men's Hair Loss: Start Your Own Topic
Last Post: 08-27-2010, 03:33 AM
By heynow1234 in forum Introduce Yourself & Share Your Story
Last Post: 03-03-2010, 04:39 AM
By Snapple in forum Hair Loss Treatments
Last Post: 11-30-2009, 08:36 PM
By Harry West in forum Hair Transplant: Start Your Own Topic
Last Post: 08-14-2009, 05:16 PM
» The Bald Truth