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Well I am only writing this in the hope that someone might say "hey i know what he is going through" and not feel too much like a loser. My earliest memory with the baldness issue is my 6th grade teacher, Mr Hoderich. He was a black man and I teased him a few times for being bald without thinking twice about what he was going through. When I turned 20 I noticed my hair was falling out and thinning. This was and is the end of my world. As a teenager I contemplated suicide just because I had alot of acne and was very self conscious about that. So when my face cleared up my hair fell out. Its like complaining about an ant bite and then being mauled by a tiger. Now i am 26 and completely bald. I am really self conscious about the way I look. I am angry all the time and sad. I feel as though i cannot function anymore as a human being. I drink and smoke weed constantly to try and drown the pain that I feel. The weed helps a bit but I still wake up to this bald head. It really sucks because girls dont take you seriously. People poke fun at you and ask stupid questions. How often do you shave your head? When did you start going bald? Why are you bald? etc etc. That gets really annoying after the 500th time they ask you and you just want to choke the next person that makes a comment about your situation. I really am tired of this crap. I sometimes wonder why I am still living here on earth. I guess it could be worse i mean i could have cancer or something. Its just that i want to have a girlfriend thats really hot and go out without being worried that someone will say something and i will be in county jail charged with assault because I cant take the comments anymore. Well i guess i am done complaining. Now that i heard that they found a cure for baldness through stem cells then I hope they dont take 10 years to put it into the market. I need this now. Can anyone relate?
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Yeah, I can definitely relate to the feelings that you describe. I wonder all the time why I'm still alive on this earth. All the hopes and dreams of my childhood seem to have come crashing down. Everything that I worked so hard and long for seems to not matter anymore. It's hard to describe just how angered and hopeless it feels to be in the process of going bald, or be bald.
For me, I can't even pull off a bald head. My skull isn't round enough. I just look absolutely horrible without a full head of hair covering it.
Like you, I had acne (though moderate) before my hairloss, so it feels like I never had the full experience of adolescence. I used to worry all the time about breaking out, but once I stopped getting acne, I started losing my hair.
Unfortunately, they don't have a cure for baldness, yet. Stem cells are at least 10-15 years away from the consumer market. Folica, on the other hand, seems to be more promising, but chances of its success are nonetheless low. Propecia and hair transplants are the only options. One is expensive, and the other has the potential to make you impotent. -
well i wouldn't worry so much about impotence from propecia--it's actually pretty rare. i think less than 2% of guys experience it. ive been on the drug for seven years with no problems.
I can totally relate to the feelings that you guys are describing. i went through a lot of that too... the anger, feeling hopeless, questioning my own existence and purpose. i was drinking a lot back then too to try to ease the pain. i thought about suicide too although i knew i could never really do it. all i can say is that is really does get better over time. there really is life after hair loss like spencer always says.
im just curious, you guys both mentioned that you had acne early on: did either of you take accutane?Comment
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I never took Accutane, because my acne was never bad enough. I just used topical antibiotics, and acne cream. But, it was bad enough where I would constantly be afraid of breaking out.
But, like arod said, it's a small problem to have when compared with hair loss.Comment
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I think we can all relate. When I was younger it never entered my mind that I would go bald. My Dad started to lose his hair at about 30 but he never really looked bald to me so I didn't think about it. For me hair loss came out of nowhere also I feel like it was a surprise attack. I've been very depressed for the past 5 years and have avoided many social situations where I could not wear my baseball cap. I've noticed that this seems to be very common among us balding guys, especially the young ones.
The biggest problem for me is that I'm almost ashamed to talk about why I am really depressed, When I talk to my parents I avoid the topic so they just think I'm down because of work or something. My mother always bitches about me wearing a hat all the time which really gets to me. Does she realty think that I like having a baseball cat basically attacked to my head during all of my waking hours?
I am the only one of my friends who has lost this much hair and I feel invisible in the bar. When I was younger I would get a lot of attention from girls, but now I'm a big zero. I'm the goofy balding guy with the hat.
I do try to stay upbeat when I can, but like you I drink more than I should just to forget about my reality. I don't know how guys deal with this and just go on with their lives. There are so many bald guys in the world and they somehow deal with it. They get married and have families. I see bald guys at bars having fun, so I ask myself why can't I just be one of the happy bald guys?
I’m considering having a hair transplant and plan of going for a couple of consultations locally. I’ll keep everyone posted.Comment
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This one really hit home for me. I try my best to keep myself upbeat, but sometimes I can't hide it and people would ask me what's going on. I would always tell them I'm just tired, or it's stress from school. Society has this ideal that a guy shouldn't worry about hairloss, but at the same time, the bald guys are the ones getting the short end of the stick from society.Comment
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Hey arodriguez7382,
Not sure if you read this. As you you'll see, everyone here can relate.
Be strong!
Spencer Kobren
Founder, American Hair Loss Association
Host, The Bald Truth Radio Show
I am not a physician. My opinions and knowledge concerning hair loss and its treatment are based on extensive research and reporting on the subject as a consumer advocate and hair loss educator. My views and comments on the subject should not be taken as medical advice. Always seek the advice of a medical professional when considering medical and surgical treatment.Comment
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response
cool thanks guys. its nice to know i am not the only one going through this crap. i guess we all need to somehow realize that being bald is who we are as human beings. its sounds corny but i mean my goal is to try to get passed this and accept my hairloss. However long it takes i must live with this. I thank God every day for being healthy. Especially when i see kids with cancer or badly burned from war. we have to remember that there are worse things than being bald. once we are comfortable in our own skin then we will reflect that and we can lead happy lives. it is easier said than done though. some people are not strong. who knows if i am but suicide should never be an option for anyone who feels that that is the only way out. i just wanted to say that because i considered it at one point as we all must have. hang in there guys. to hell with what people think about our bald heads.Comment
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You might want to take a listen to our 12/07/08 broadcast with Neil Strauss. It might help.
Spencer Kobren
Founder, American Hair Loss Association
Host, The Bald Truth Radio Show
I am not a physician. My opinions and knowledge concerning hair loss and its treatment are based on extensive research and reporting on the subject as a consumer advocate and hair loss educator. My views and comments on the subject should not be taken as medical advice. Always seek the advice of a medical professional when considering medical and surgical treatment.Comment
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Great posts gentlemen. It feels great to vent - it's therapeutic. I kept may hair loss suffering quiet for almost 8 years -- and I mean completely quiet, I didn't talk to anyone about how it made me feel insecure, inconfident, etc. --- and I took numerous blows from people that thought their comments were "jokes". I tried useless shampoos and even had a bogus hair transplant with the jackasses at Bosley. Then finally I found The Bald Truth and realized there's a place to us to voice these helpless feelings that come with losing hair and to get legitimate help. I've had a second hair transplant now, with Doctor McAndrews of the IAHRS. Being bald for me is NOT an option - I can't do it. All of my life I have received comments and jokes about beig short -- I am only 5'1", substantially below average height for a guy. Try getting chicks as a short guy --- dear christ, it just doesn't happen, not even if you have the hair of a god. I've been single for almost 15 years now. One chick I met online said I was nice and she would date me, blah blah blah, but she ended up telling me "I'm a high heel kinda girl". She chose shoes over me. Another chick that I work with seemed to really dig me, we became friends, we went out to lunch, etc. It felt natural to ask her out -- so I did. And she gave me this big spiel about how she just got out of a relationship, and how she doesn't date people she works with, because its awkward. Then I find out from a mutual friend in the office that she said it was because I was too short for her tastes. Then here's the real kick in the ass --- about 2 years later I get a wedding invitation from her -- she married some other guy in the office!!
Being short sucks, especially in the social circle. And then when my hair loss kicked in, it was a double whammy. Hell no to baldness. I have no interest in being the next Danny De Vito --- unless someone's gonna pay me $10 million bucks for a movie and I just move to a smal island or something and forget about it all.
If anyone is considering a hair transplant and wants to tap into my experiences (the good ones), feel free to let me know.
Hang in there guys --- and thanks for letting me join in on this vent fest.
TeeJayComment
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resonse
i never took accutane but i did come close to getting that medication. thats until i learned i had to sign 50 papers and there was a risk of liver damage later in life.Comment
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Hey guys, things could be a heck of a lot worse. I mean really a lot lot worse. You could be a woman with hair loss and or balding.Comment
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Kathy,
I feel for you, but why do you think it is worse for a woman? Just because we are accepted by society if we lose our hair does not mean that it makes us feel any better about ourselves. We still feel less attractive and deal with the same depression and feelings of low self-esteem as anyone who is losing their hair, whether you're a man or a woman. Please don't discount how this makes us feel as men.
PaulComment
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Good point, Paul.
Another thing - this type of thinking, the idea that there are worse fates, doesn't really help in the long run. To a balding woman, I can make the same argument that things can be worse... she can be dying, or dead. Even a dying person can think of worse scenarios to be in.Comment
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