I'm so devastated for my son

[Artista]

You can 'let it all out here' but you must also be accepting of honest rebuttal as well.
" I'm almost angry with my husband for passing this on"
".. my husband's flawed genes.."

Hair loss skips generations on BOTH SIDES. You cannot absolutely connect or BLAME THIS solely to your husband and his genes. That is unfair and almost sounding disrespectful.
That hair loss to your son may have also been brought on by your side of the family too.
That should not be the focus anyway.. Your son's hair loss is why your here and you are at the right forum to ,not only get great advice for him, but also to dispel misconceptions about hair loss.

[didi]

very interesting thread

amazes me how women dont care if their bf/husband is bald but get so devastated if their son goes bald...i mean logic would tell you if you marry someone who is bald chances are that your son will be bald too...

is it just that females mind cant join the dots? if im to mary women who has serious mental illness i would anticipate my offsprings would have big chance to have the same illness, you kinda accept the risk n when it happens you are already prepared??anyone agrees with this

[Exodus]

In my opinion your attention to this and bringing it up to him will make him feel self conscious and more than likely uncomfortable. If you have noticed it it is a good chance that he has as well if he has been looking into a mirror lately. My best advice would be to be as supportive as possible and to be tactful.

Also it is a scientific fact that both sexes pass and indirectly activate and trigger the baldness gene not just one. Though in his paternal line baldness runs through that line as a male with XY chromosone.. your matrilineal genes are in him as well and it is the pairing of both the dominant bald gene and recessive traits and yours perhaps being the trigger pull that have potentially activated the baldness. It is a 50/50 shot a genetic lottery..two boys can be born from the same family and one can have a full head of hair and the other brother conceviably go bald before 30 years old it is just random like that. However now is not the time to blame your husband, yourself or anyone else for that matter.. it is time to be there for your son and to seek answers for him should he ask them of you.. and constructive ones that are well resrched at that.

Im the youngest of three brothers. Number 1 has perfect hair, mature hairline. Number 2 mass recession and thinning. Me, I've maintained my hairline somewhat, but diffuse all over the crown/top/vertex of my head. Baldness most likely comes from my Mothers side as my grandad and uncle are bald, yet on my dads they're full of thick luscious black velvety hair.

Various approaches really for your son, but it could be super awkward raising it with him...

[Aames]

Flawed genetics? Perhaps you should start a revolutionary eugenics or genocide group that could wipe the bald fascists off the face of the earth for good.

[Assemblage23]

just waiting for Highlander to reply

[win200]

just waiting for Highlander to reply

I'm sure he'll have a restrained, thoughtful, cautious word of wisdom to offer.

[clandestine]

Propecia has the potential for sexually related side effects; research these thoroughly before committing. It's discouraging that most members have neglected to mention this.

[mpb47]

Well, it's her son, not a potential romantic interest. Mothers scrutinize their sons differently; they notice things others don't. I still think most guys with hair loss vastly overestimate the degree to which most (not all, but MOST) women care about or even notice hair loss. I mentioned my brother's hair loss to my ex-wife the other day, who sees him reasonably frequently, and she had no idea what I was talking about--she literally hadn't notice. And he's a NW3 *at best.*

+100 on this^^^

A friend at work was interested in dating me about 2 years ago. Not that I was not interested, but I was simply too physically sick at the time to have a relationship. The point is she was interested in me even though I am quite sure she knows I have mpb if for no other reason because she started asking me about it a few months ago. And it was for the very same reason this women is here. Her son (26) lives out of state and she had not seen him for a good while and was shocked that he had lost noticeable hair. She thought he was way too young for mpb so I asked her where had he lost hair. She indicated with her fingers that his hairline had gone back and his crown was getting thin. She later showed me before and after photos and it was clearly aggressive mpb.

I told her it was almost certainly mpb and no he was plenty old enough for it.
I described the 2 treatments available and left it to her if she should act in the info. In her case, her son already has a lot going for him including a long term girlfriend so he may not even care one bit.

muchtooyoung: How does your son feel about? I think you really need to find out before you push treatments on him. OTOH, if he does care, then it is best to catch it early and not wait to long. I think it is good you want to be helpful. ...when my mom's hairdresser mentioned I might have it, my mom was in denial probably because I was only 14-15 at the time.

Best of luck!

[win200]

+100 on this^^^

Thanks! It's amazing to me how some posters here absolutely insist that even a hint of hair loss is kryptonite to women. It's just not. Women don't typically experience hair loss, and they don't even really know what it looks like until it's taken a huge toll on a man's hair. It's not even that they don't mind it; they just don't even see it most of the time.

I was on FB the other day, and I noticed how many of my female friends from high school are now married to guys with extensive hair loss. And these are attractive, smart, successful women. I guess that vapid women without much intelligence or personality might be more sensitive to hair loss, but who cares about them?

If you want to believe that your hair loss will kill your chances with women, fine, believe that. But it won't.

[Kayman]

No it just shows how women really feel about hairloss. They hate it.

So what are you saying? That she'll now think less of her son because he's losing hair? This is a completely different situation its a mother concerned for her sons mental well being not a woman who's finding her partner less attractive due to hair loss.

[win200]

So what are you saying? That she'll now think less of her son because he's losing hair? This is a completely different situation its a mother concerned for her sons mental well being not a woman who's finding her partner less attractive due to hair loss.

Exactly. It's an apples-and-oranges comparison.

[mpb47]

Thanks! It's amazing to me how some posters here absolutely insist that even a hint of hair loss is kryptonite to women. It's just not. Women don't typically experience hair loss, and they don't even really know what it looks like until it's taken a huge toll on a man's hair. It's not even that they don't mind it; they just don't even see it most of the time.

I was on FB the other day, and I noticed how many of my female friends from high school are now married to guys with extensive hair loss. And these are attractive, smart, successful women. I guess that vapid women without much intelligence or personality might be more sensitive to hair loss, but who cares about them?

If you want to believe that your hair loss will kill your chances with women, fine, believe that. But it won't.

Not at all, this women was clearly interested in me...I am normally very clueless about taking hints but in this case she was inviting over to her house over the holidays and inviting me to lunch often.
And she is no dog ether. She is normally very conservative, but at our Christmas party, strictly by accident, I got to see what she normally hides very well

But with her son it is a different matter- that is maternal instinct at work and nothing wrong with it.

[mpb47]

Exactly. It's an apples-and-oranges comparison.

It's maternal instinct - and it is a good thing else we may not be here

In my example the woman was also concerned because he had cancer as a child and she thought the loss may be due to residue from all the drugs he had to take.

[Pate]

just waiting for Highlander to reply

I'm sure he'll have a restrained, thoughtful, cautious word of wisdom to offer.

That is, without doubt, the best post I have ever read on BTT.

[jgold]

Research propecia before you have your son take it. I'm 20 and I wouldn't suggest him to get on it, even though it's really the only thing that will truly help.