IM SPiNNING OUT AGAIN!!!

[Highlander]

I can't ****ing handle it anymore. There is so much I want to change, so little time.

**** MY LIFE. I JUST WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL!

One day I'm going to wake up and have the skin, hairline, and facial features I want. I know it!

Just two more years I keep telling myself. Just two more years.

**** this gay earth.



You're either aesthetic or pathetic. That's life.

[ProudBaldie]

take some antidepressants dude.......im worried about you.

[yeahyeahyeah]

Originally Posted by Highlander

I can't ****ing handle it anymore. There is so much I want to change, so little time.

**** MY LIFE. I JUST WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL!

One day I'm going to wake up and have the skin, hairline, and facial features I want. I know it!

Just two more years I keep telling myself. Just two more years.

**** this gay earth.



You're either aesthetic or pathetic. That's life.

Are you not on propecia?

[Highlander]

I'm on finasteride 1.25mg and I think it's going to work. I'm just talking about life in general. So many little things are holding me back, but together it feels like a lot.

I just want to fix it all! I know I can! It's just going to take some time... but here's to hoping that I'm still on track for completion by my 22nd birthday.

[ThinningB420]

Highlander, you're Catholic, right? I ask this because you mention a lot of Catholic things and God in a positive manner.

If so, I think you really need to pray to God to accept yourself as he accepts you. You seem to be struggling with vanity and pride to me. Maybe you should pray to work on those.

[Highlander]

Originally Posted by ThinningB420

Highlander, you're Catholic, right? I ask this because you mention a lot of Catholic things and God in a positive manner.

If so, I think you really need to pray to God to accept yourself as he accepts you. You seem to be struggling with vanity and pride to me. Maybe you should pray to work on those.

This isn't so much vanity as it is me wanting to fix legitmate issues that I have. Hair loss was caused by medication, not Mother Nature. I used to have gyno before I got it fixed - was that vanity too? And what about my skin that I want to clear up completely?

I just want to be the real me, and not held back by all these constantly "minor" imperfections that have been the result of medication and hormonal imbalances throughout my life. We live in an age where this is a real possibility to do what I want ot do, and I'm blessed to have the ability to afford such procedures.

Interested to know your thoughts on this.

[ThinningB420]

Your hair loss was caused by accutane, right? I'm in the same boat. I traded one problem for another. However, there is no proof accutane causes MPB which you are suffering from if you're losing hair in the temple area then the hair line next. Accutane may have just sped up mother nature. That's the most I can conclude from my research.

Some people just can't clear their skin up perfectly. If one is stressing about minor imperfections I would say it's vanity because it's exaggerating the issue and the importance of "perfect skin".

The gyno is difficult. If it was very bad, I could understand surgery if it could not be removed through finishing puberty. If it was minor I could see it as vanity. That's a relative statement; however, I think there are differences. For example, my nose has a lot of cartilage and looks fat at the tip. If I wanted to get surgery because I don't like having a nose with a big tip, then that is vanity. If my nose is physically deformed by birth or an accident, then surgery is not vanity.

Also, I wouldn't call getting a chin implant correcting a minor imperfection. You say life is about aesthetics and heavily emphasize that. What importance is that to God? In heaven we aren't going to care about how good we look. Maybe our bodies will be perfected in heaven in a physical manner that we never achieved on earth, maybe they will be perfected in a manner consistent with our bodies on earth. I don't know but I do know that people we may consider unattractive here on earth will not be considered that in heaven because we will all be perfect. Therefore, "attractiveness" according to our standards is flawed. Putting emphasis on it is to turn away from God, which is sinful, most likely venial unless it is great vanity.

It is pretty well known St. Paul was an unattractive man. That didn't stop him from becoming a saint. It wasn't important to God. To God he was beautiful inside and out and that is why he is a saint. Ultimately our lives on earth are for the purpose of preparing us for heaven so we should concern ourselves primarily with heavenly things. It's fine to be concerned about the here and now, but we can't let it run our lives. If so we are selfish and risk eternal damnation. After all, the first sin was pride. Adam and Eve wanted to be like God and chose to defy him and seek the fruit to become knowledgeable like God. I see focusing so heavily on appearance to be similarly prideful.

[Highlander]

I suppose you see that focus because here the focus really is all on our looks (on the BTT forum). But I shall take your advice to heart. God must come first!

On that note, I have fallen in love with the story of Saint Christopher. His story is so relevant. How he dedicated himself to the Lord, and through the temptation and all he kept his heart pure. His strength and faith are something I hope to achieve in my life.

My grandmother gave me a Saint Christopher's necklace that I hang over my desk to remind me of this daily.

[ThinningB420]

Yes, St. Christopher was an amazing saint. It's good to have a devotion to him.

I'm not saying you're gravely sinning. I just think you should try to pray more to God for acceptance of who you are. This is something I do constantly because I'm a perfectionist and I struggle with similar things as you do. We just have to remind ourselves what the real focus of life is.

That was the great thing about living in a religious community. When I was there; I didn't care about any of the material world things like looks, having a great job, or trying to find a beautiful woman to one day marry. I prayed, worked around the Church, studied, and spent time growing in Christ with others wishing to do the same. It was really a wonderful life. There are just a few things in my life I need to resolve now, like my career, examining the vocation of marriage, and working on my perfectionism before I could ever go back to that life.