Snake Oil Venture Capital Firm Proposal

[NeedHairASAP]

Hello,

Looking to get some money guys together to start a VC firm who specializes in hairloss snake oils. PM if interested. We fund highly creative marketing proposals for products that consist of plastic bottling, a liquid (could be anything, water etc.), and possible boxing costs. These costs of production, coupled with distribution and transportation costs, will be our only worries. If interested in a more in depth summary of the proposals strategy, then please PM.

Let's make MILLIONS off of these fools [gestures to those around him]

Cost Anaysis:

50,000 boxes= .10 ea

50,000 plastic bottles with sprayer= .60 ea

50,000 units of water= .10 ea

Transport, Marketing, Distribution Costs per unit= $5 ea

Total Cost per Unit= $5.80

Sale Price: $90

Total Revenue: 4.5 Million USD

Total Cost: 5k+5k+250k+30k= $290k USD

Total Profit: 4.21 Million USD

Return: 646%




Products in Production:

TRX4
SF33 (seaweed and fart extracts)
SUPERgaine (extreme rogaine formula)
HairInjecterxistogen (procedure consisting of 3 or 4 injections that increase the island of hair among your horseshoe up to 17%)
SuperFUT (The GOld StandArd of the GOLD STANDARD-- the platinum or diamonds of hair transplants-- available in malls and gas stations by a certified technician/auto repair man/salesperson/fartsniffer

and


MANY MANY MANY other products... PLEASE PM ME WITH PAYPAL ACCT PASSWORDS... THX U

[bananana]

no need for this.

pls, lets keep this a fairly serious place.

[NeedHairASAP]

Originally Posted by bananana

no need for this.

pls, lets keep this a fairly serious place.

a 646% return IS serious

[25 going on 65]

Admins will probably move the thread but I actually think it's hilarious.

[bananana]

it is funny, but cmon guys, if every other member starts topics like this, forum would go to s hit...

[UK_]

Originally Posted by NeedHairASAP

a 646% return IS serious

Wow this is incredible, unfortunately I just sold my house to buy shares in the "Hair Max laser blow dryer" that hopes to send laser guided jolts of saw palmetto directly onto the scalp then dry it to form a wonderful green mucus coloured crust to seal in any further hair loss.

Hopefully aiming for pan-Asian approval in 2078.

[greatjob!]

haha! I’ve actually thought about this before when thinking of all the bs treatments, and thought I should start up a bs company to peddle snake oil and make millions, but then I realized I wasn't a piece of shit

[Highlander]

Originally Posted by NeedHairASAP

Hello,

Looking to get some money guys together to start a VC firm who specializes in hairloss snake oils. PM if interested. We fund highly creative marketing proposals for products that consist of plastic bottling, a liquid (could be anything, water etc.), and possible boxing costs. These costs of production, coupled with distribution and transportation costs, will be our only worries. If interested in a more in depth summary of the proposals strategy, then please PM.

Let's make MILLIONS off of these fools [gestures to those around him]

Cost Anaysis:

50,000 boxes= .10 ea

50,000 plastic bottles with sprayer= .60 ea

50,000 units of water= .10 ea

Transport, Marketing, Distribution Costs per unit= $5 ea

Total Cost per Unit= $5.80

Sale Price: $90

Total Revenue: 4.5 Million USD

Total Cost: 5k+5k+250k+30k= $290k USD

Total Profit: 4.21 Million USD

Return: 646%




Products in Production:

TRX4
SF33 (seaweed and fart extracts)
SUPERgaine (extreme rogaine formula)
HairInjecterxistogen (procedure consisting of 3 or 4 injections that increase the island of hair among your horseshoe up to 17%)
SuperFUT (The GOld StandArd of the GOLD STANDARD-- the platinum or diamonds of hair transplants-- available in malls and gas stations by a certified technician/auto repair man/salesperson/fartsniffer

and


MANY MANY MANY other products... PLEASE PM ME WITH PAYPAL ACCT PASSWORDS... THX U

I will only do this if inside each packet of snake oil we send out we include a little note that recommends they "compliment" the treatement with the use of the Big Three (Finasteride, Minoxidil, and Nizoral).

If you think about it, recommending that they compound treatments is going to reduce the negative feedback, and also increase the chances that people actually believe the snake oil did something for them.

[Follicle Death Row]

But what will we call the parent company that produces all these amazing treatments?

Follistogen?
Follerans?
Replihair?
Folligain?
L'Oreal?...Oh wait that one's taken, my bad.

We could also put together a DIY SMP package with our own patented red and green inks and needle/pen. Here's the pitch: Complete kit comes with ten pairs of 3d glasses (pictured below) to put on your observers during social interactions. SMP has never looked so real! May also be used by the subject themselves when viewing their awesome new shaved do in the mirror. Order now and receive a 10% discount off the recommended retail price of $599.

Disclaimer: Inks last 14 days once applied. Order a years supply touchup kit for the low price of $300.

[UK_]

LOL Follerans hahahaa wdf

Wow 599? Throw in a free bottle of saw palmetto and you've got yrself a deal!!!