17 years of suffering and counting

[sickly_burnt_tree_forest]

Hey everyone, im sorta new here. I started balding at the age of 17 and im 34 now. It has been the most difficult road. The depression, low self esteem, anxiety, feelings of inferiority, the moments of ridicule burn in my mind from all the years of carrying out this horrible life sentence. When you begin to lose your hair at a young age its truely devistating and it changed me for the worse. I started drinking heavily in my late teens and doing any drugs i could find. I think it was the lonliness, while all friends i knew were going to college and out on dates i was planing my life with a hat. Im only 5'6 tall also so it makes hairloss so much more worse with everyone always looking down at your head. I have concidered suicide for so many years. I always thought maybe one day there will be a cure, so i could go to school for something that i actually enjoyed and wanted to do, instead of a job i am miserable at, however i am allowed to wear a hat and that is the reason why i work there and the fact i dont have to socially interact with very many people and as a hair loss sufferer that is a golden benefit. Its also nice to be able to cry at work without anyone seeing you. I always heard as you get older it gets easier, i guess some people can deal with it alot better than i have so far. I have held out hope for so many years that this horrible disease could be cured and i could have a chance at a life of happiness and not cowering in the shadows. I guess im having a very bad hairloss life and i am losing hope fast. Its just been too much suffering and i am having a moment of weakness where a hair loss suffer looks back on their life and thinks, is it worth it and should i go on. I am truely tired an exhausted from hairloss, it has claimed my entire life. If anyone reads this, i hope your fight is going better than mine has. I would trade the rest of my life for just a few moments of never knowing the pain and suffering of the hair loss life.

[john2399]

I feel like im in your position because i am young now dealing with hairloss at 19. Truly sucks specially because life is one big competition to get the hot girls and hairloss just ends any "swag" you had or will ever have again. Keep your head up thou, i mean im in no position to give you advice but for you to last till 34 with this terrible disease, you must be a strong person. Ive been dealing with this for 4 years and it feels like 40 so you should atleast feel good that you didn't go crazy and still standing strong. I guess some people have it easier than others but those people never appreciate happiness. I think all hairloss sufferes really appreciate life and for the people who never lost hair really will never get the chance to understand life like we do. Stay strong man, if you lasted till 34, look around you most 35 year olds are going bald so your def not alone.

[ravegrover]

I'm sure you have heard this before - accepting hairloss makes it easy. As in, lose the hat and stop hiding. Not sure about ur personal situation. But, if ur married and in ur 30s - hairloss isnt everything. You will still think about it, perhaps every day, but there is much much more to life.

[PatientlyWaiting]

That's a sad story and you speak for a lot of people.

[sickly_burnt_tree_forest]

Thank you so very much for the reply, it helps alot to have a place to go where everyones problems are the same. I dont think i will ever be the person who can take off my hat and be comfortable around people and face the music, but i hope to one day. I greatly appreciate the people on here who are strong for others even though they suffer the disease themselves ,its truely noble and selfless, thanks alot

[spectrum]

Be a strong man! You have to be more stronger! As regards to what you have described you should listen to my situation. Lots of people (including teachers in school) made fun of me because I 'm short (5"5'), having spots on my face, having to wear think glasses for shortsightedness and finally balding. I committed suicide and I know how it does feel. I dropped off the university because of major depression and absolute loneliness, Yes! I was the best student in school. That's the world of mine! who cares! The reality begins when you are needy! When you need a partner! When you need to get a job! When you have to confront people in society! All I needed to be like a normal guy at my age! Having some like others! I was born in a really poor family! But money wasn't/isn't my main consider and it wont be. However poverty affected my life, too.

Life is unfair; it is an answer, psychiatrist told me. I remember of complaining to my parents for period of time but it was worthless, nothings were going to be changed. I was alone! I hate watching romantic movies and I cant tolerate even listening to many musics. I can remind I was hating hearing girls laughing. I think most of women (99%) wont feel loneliness like man! Because How ugly a woman is, she will get
suggestions. You think I am mentally sick?

It's a hell road and it seems to me it never end. We need to walk stronger, we need to be more powerful. There are a lot of things we can enjoy! We need to think of people are in worse situation than ours! I think it's a solution! and I never forget that everybody dies a day!

F*ck the world!

[john2399]

Originally Posted by spectrum

Be a strong man! You have to be more stronger! As regards to what you have described you should listen to my situation. Lots of people (including teachers in school) made fun of me because I 'm short (5"5'), having spots on my face, having to wear think glasses for shortsightedness and finally balding. I committed suicide and I know how it does feel. I dropped off the university because of major depression and absolute loneliness, Yes! I was the best student in school. That's the world of mine! who cares! The reality begins when you are needy! When you need a partner! When you need to get a job! When you have to confront people in society! All I needed to be like a normal guy at my age! Having some like others! I was born in a really poor family! But money wasn't/isn't my main consider and it wont be. However poverty affected my life, too.

Life is unfair; it is an answer, psychiatrist told me. I remember of complaining to my parents for period of time but it was worthless, nothings were going to be changed. I was alone! I hate watching romantic movies and I cant tolerate even listening to many musics. I can remind I was hating hearing girls laughing. I think most of women (99%) wont feel loneliness like man! Because How ugly a woman is, she will get
suggestions. You think I am mentally sick?

It's a hell road and it seems to me it never end. We need to walk stronger, we need to be more powerful. There are a lot of things we can enjoy! We need to think of people are in worse situation than ours! I think it's a solution! and I never forget that everybody dies a day!

F*ck the world!

Thats pretty powerful. How is your situation now?

[sickly_burnt_tree_forest]

yes us short guys with hair loss definately did get the shit end of the stick genetically. I was trying to read through other forums and find up lifting advice and i stumbled on some female opions and a whole bunch of females posted that its ok to lose your hair, its better than being short hahaha, wow did i feel like shit. its a good thing i didnt own a gun. I pray that in the next few years some ground breaking discoverys will be made in either cloning or stem cell activation. I think the younger generation has a lot of hope for medications in the next 5 years to come out to stop balding, however its far too late for alot of us folks that are years and years deep in this ****ing shit. Im doing the propecia and rogaine treatments and so far they have not been helping very much and i am praying with all my heart and soul that the pg2 inhibitor drug is going to come to the market in the next couple years and stop the follicle destruction so i can figure out if hair transplants would be a option for me. I have a diffused baldness pattern, it started in the temples then i had a massive shead and it all gets thinner and thinner as the months and years have painfully gone by. If that inhibitor drug comes out and works, and histogen comes out and works, then transplants may be a wonderful option with amazing results...all of my hope rests on that and if someone does better i will sell my house or a kidney to pay for it and live in my car and start life over with confidence for the first time in my life. Its no fair when you lose your hair young, but maybe in the next 10 years there will be real options that will really restore a full head of hair...im hopefull that replicel and aderans will get there shit together in the next 10 years too. The science does work, its just not completely developed for humans yet. I am hopeful, hope is all we have.

[mpb47]

Originally Posted by sickly_burnt_tree_forest

yes us short guys with hair loss definately did get the shit end of the stick genetically. I was trying to read through other forums and find up lifting advice and i stumbled on some female opions and a whole bunch of females posted that its ok to lose your hair, its better than being short hahaha, wow did i feel like shit. its a good thing i didnt own a gun...

You need to focus your attention on women that have a decent IQ, as they are more willing to give you a chance if you are not some genetically perfect person. And it seems so cheap but confidence does work. Fake it if you have to.

As far as the depression goes you have to bulldoze through it. Depression is normally a distortion of reality. Your life may not be perfect , but it's most likely not as bad as you think because depression plays tricks on your mind and makes things seem worse than they actually are.

Hang in there and good luck...

[spectrum]

Originally Posted by john2399

Thats pretty powerful. How is your situation now?

Time has taught me lots of things. How to live like nobody. Live in dark far away from the community, outside of people 's care. I read books about programming languages and now I am a freelancer programmer. I enjoy my skills. There are lots of light music, good movies and specially documentary ones. I consider indirect education through the web. I have some friends like to myself. They are bald and short as well. I do know smoking is killing me but it relaxes me. I know I should avoid drinking whiskeys but sometimes I need to.

Finally I like to breath in and breath out and it's the precious of life.