+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    Senior Member Davey Jones's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    The High Seas
    Posts
    347

    Default Do you tell 'em?

    I was visiting family this last Easter, and I got to talking with my cousin's husband (is that what a second cousin is?), Mark. He's a fellow baldy, and inevitibly, the conversation always hits on our shared condition. It's funny to me how comforting joking about being bald with a fellow baldy can be, as a contrast to how a non-balding person even bringing up the subject can make me want to rip their jaw off and hide away in shame somewhere with it. Ashamed of the balding, that is, not the jaw ripping. That part would be justified.

    Anyway, this other guy, Kyle, takes his hat off to scratch his head, and someone mentions that he's losing his hair a bit too. He explains that it's just the hat, and everyone accepts this and moves on. Worst part is, I can see in his face that Kyle believes his hat excuse too. Now, I'm no doctor, but most of us here, through our struggle, have become some of the world's foremost experts on hairloss, and I know androgenic alopecia when I see it. This dude's hat was not deviously ripping his hairs out in a pattern baldness format, just to mess with him. His grandfathers screwed him over, not his accessories.

    This is far from the first time I've seen this behavior. Another big one is, "Oh, I'm not balding; I'm just really stressed right now." My fellow hairloss experts are shaking their heads. "Pff, telogen effluvium is cleeeearly a different disorder." But the layman (though likely future hairloss expert) doesn't know that yet. They don't WANT to know that, because knowing that is akin to knowing that they're balding.

    My question here is this: "How do you/would you handle this situation, a person in that dreaded first Stage of Grieving, denial?" Do you tell them, so they can start trying to counter the effects now? Or...is ignorance bliss? Do you let them figure it out on their own time? Let them have the last six months, maybe a year, of being able to reasonably pretend that it isn't happening to them?

    I can see it both ways. In this particular situation, that guy Kyle f---ing sucks, so I didn't really care. But the situation at least got me thinking!

  2. #2
    Senior Member gmonasco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Los Angeles, California
    Posts
    872

    Exclamation

    Quote Originally Posted by Davey Jones View Post
    My question here is this: "How do you/would you handle this situation, a person in that dreaded first Stage of Grieving, denial?" Do you tell them, so they can start trying to counter the effects now? Or...is ignorance bliss?
    I think I'd suggest something like: "Hair loss can be a symptom of some other medical issue; just to be sure, you might want to go a doctor and get it checked out." If they follow up, any decent dermatologist should be able to clue them in about MPB.

    I doubt it would work, given the typical male reluctance to seek medical consultation for anything that isn't excruciatingly painful or life-threatening. But at least you could ease your conscience knowing that you tried.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,062

    Default

    Why do you need to tell him. I am sure he has worked that out for himself.

    That hat and the denial is pretty normal he is self conscious and does not want people to notice. I hate it when anyone comments on my baldness, I want to live my life without that. Yet too often I get someone commenting on it and It just makes me even more depressed.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Davey Jones's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    The High Seas
    Posts
    347

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sausage View Post
    Why do you need to tell him. I am sure he has worked that out for himself.

    That hat and the denial is pretty normal he is self conscious and does not want people to notice. I hate it when anyone comments on my baldness, I want to live my life without that. Yet too often I get someone commenting on it and It just makes me even more depressed.
    I guess that's true. It seemed like he genuinely thought it was the hat, but if you want to believe something bad enough, I'm sure you're a more convincing liar. You've already had plenty of practice trying to convince yourself, afterall.

    Overall, I think you're right. Whether they actually believe it or not, whether it would help them in the long run or not, it's best to not bring it up. I still wonder if anyone can make a compelling argument for telling.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    346

    Default

    No you don't. It ain't life threatening and only thing you can do is make them feel bad, worried and even depressed.

    I have a few friends who have asked me about my opinion concerning hair loss.

    They are still in early stages, and one of them had visible vertex hair loss. But I didn't tell him. The guy has enough worries in his life without hairloss, if it continues he will find out on his own, but if it is of slow progression the longer they(him) are in denial less time they will be depressed and affected in case some new treatment comes.

    To clarify:
    Kyle might be in denial for the next 6 months about his hair loss but thats 6 months longer without hair worries...

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

» The Bald Truth

» Recent Threads

Histogen news
05-08-2014 07:00 AM
by James7
Last Post By inbrugge
Today 09:42 PM
body hair on minox
Today 09:41 PM
Last Post By inbrugge
Today 09:41 PM
Everyone in here, now.
10-01-2014 01:21 PM
Last Post By inbrugge
Today 09:36 PM
We have a vehicle for CB-03-01: VERSAPRO
10-05-2014 06:05 AM
Last Post By inbrugge
Today 09:35 PM