The Five Stages of Grief: Where Are You?

[Highlander]

I posted this in another thread, but I thought it would be interesting for us to compare where we think we are right now relative to the model. I feel that many of you are struggling to maintain the farce of stage five, whereas you're more realistically somewhere between stages of one, two, and three.


The stages, popularly known by the acronym DABDA, include:

Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death. Denial can be conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, or the reality of the situation. Denial is a defense mechanism and some people can become locked in this stage.

Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Anger can manifest itself in different ways. People can be angry with themselves, or with others, and especially those who are close to them. It is important to remain detached and nonjudgmental when dealing with a person experiencing anger from grief.

Bargaining — "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just do something to buy more time..." People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example "Can we still be friends?.." when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it's a matter of life or death.

Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed. Depression could be referred to as the dress rehearsal for the 'aftermath'. It is a kind of acceptance with emotional attachment. It's natural to feel sadness, regret, fear, and uncertainty when going through this stage. Feeling those emotions shows that the person has begun to accept the situation.

Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with their mortality, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. This stage varies according to the person's situation. People dying can enter this stage a long time before the people they leave behind, who must pass through their own individual stages of dealing with the grief.

[yeahyeahyeah]

Originally Posted by Highlander

Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed. Depression could be referred to as the dress rehearsal for the 'aftermath'. It is a kind of acceptance with emotional attachment. It's natural to feel sadness, regret, fear, and uncertainty when going through this stage. Feeling those emotions shows that the person has begun to accept the situation.

here
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[Highlander]

Originally Posted by yeahyeahyeah

here
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You're depressed, or you're all five?

So many feelings...

[Davey Jones]

If most people were being honest, I think they'd admit that they bounce around those stages quite a bit. I happily spend most of my time in Stage 5, now a days, but I'd be lying my ass off if I said I wasn't a 2 or a 4 some days.

Stage 1 is virtually impossible at the point you're shaving your head, like I do. Actually, I'd say you have to get past One before you can even bring yourself to do it.

[ovoxo]

like 2345, emotional rollercoaster

[Maradona]

Originally Posted by Highlander

You're depressed, or you're all five?

So many feelings...

I am at stage 6, there will be a treatment good enough to get me through this.

Those steps only apply to those with DUPA, that could be me. I just hope It ain't or I'll be at stage 0, kill myself before going through any of those steps .

[Highlander]

Originally Posted by Maradona

I am at stage 6, there will be a treatment good enough to get me through this.

Those steps only apply to those with DUPA, that could be me. I just hope It ain't or I'll be at stage 0, kill myself before going through any of those steps .

What is stage six? Suicide? or defeating MPB?

[beatinghairloss]

Originally Posted by Highlander

I posted this in another thread, but I thought it would be interesting for us to compare where we think we are right now relative to the model. I feel that many of you are struggling to maintain the farce of stage five, whereas you're more realistically somewhere between stages of one, two, and three.


The stages, popularly known by the acronym DABDA, include:

Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death. Denial can be conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, or the reality of the situation. Denial is a defense mechanism and some people can become locked in this stage.

Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Anger can manifest itself in different ways. People can be angry with themselves, or with others, and especially those who are close to them. It is important to remain detached and nonjudgmental when dealing with a person experiencing anger from grief.

Bargaining — "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just do something to buy more time..." People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example "Can we still be friends?.." when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it's a matter of life or death.

Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed. Depression could be referred to as the dress rehearsal for the 'aftermath'. It is a kind of acceptance with emotional attachment. It's natural to feel sadness, regret, fear, and uncertainty when going through this stage. Feeling those emotions shows that the person has begun to accept the situation.

Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with their mortality, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. This stage varies according to the person's situation. People dying can enter this stage a long time before the people they leave behind, who must pass through their own individual stages of dealing with the grief.

I am in the 6th stage.

Rational preemptive action.
This stage comes after acceptance with the hope to change my current dilemma but even more importantly to find and prevent younger people from following down the same road of self sabotage. This sabotage includes but is not limited to; a terrible western diet, indoor cave like behavior lacking sufficient oxygen and sunlight, excessive sexual stimulation and an overall sedentary lifestyle. These factors NEED more awareness as they accelerate young people’s hair loss across the globe.

[Highlander]

Originally Posted by beatinghairloss

I am in the 6th stage.

Rational preemptive action.
This stage comes after acceptance with the hope to change my current dilemma but even more importantly to find and prevent younger people from following down the same road of self sabotage. This sabotage includes but is not limited to; a terrible western diet, indoor cave like behavior lacking sufficient oxygen and sunlight, excessive sexual stimulation and an overall sedentary lifestyle. These factors NEED more awareness as they accelerate young people’s hair loss across the globe.

I've heard of diet, but the rest I believe have been shown time and time again to not influence hair loss.

[FlightTL]

I do have depression. Losing hair is a huge part of it, I think.




Take Care