Advice from a man who started balding 20 years ago (at age 18)
I was driving in the car today and I was reminded of a youtube video I recently saw about adults having a fictional conversation with their younger teen selves. I was thinking about advice I would give myself, and one of the topics that I would have loved to have covered would be on my experience with baldness. Since time travel is impossible, the next best thing for me to do would be to help someone else out.
I am 38, I started losing my hair at 18. For a myriad of reasons, I was devastated by my hair loss. I (subconsciously and consciously) equated so many things with having a full head of hair; youth, being attractive to women, etc etc. For years I wore hats, tried pills, creams, sprays, and the dreaded side part comb over. I even got a toupee at one point. I researched hair transplants even though my father had a horrible transplant from the 70's and made him look like Donald Trump.
The stress of this effected my health. Every morning I would look at the mirror with a sense of dread as I took inventory of the remaining hairs left on my scalp. I had problems with self confidence and couldnt pick up girls. People teased me about my side-part hair style but I refused to brush it any other way for fear of my baldness becoming evident to others.
Then one day when I was 28 years old, I thought about my life over the last 10 years. Even though I am a generally happy person, I realized that this condition was casting a dark shadow on everything I did and thought. So I went to a drug store, bought a pair of clippers, and shaved my head bald.
I have large features so I thought that a bald head would never work for me. I helped this by wearing glasses and I also grew a trimmed beard. Once I settled into my new look, I was able to finally feel at PEACE with myself. I actually looked GOOD! My confidence sky rocketed and I was able to get back to living my life.
Now, I realize that the main reason of concern for balding men is GIRLS!!! BUT you have to realize that there are a myriad of qualities that girls look for in guys. Maybe having a full head of hair is one of them, BUT if you improve your body by going to the gym, improve your mind by reading books, improve your game (try reading the website www.laddertheory.com for an insightful and comical look into the female psyche) and have a good job there is NO LIMIT to the girls you can date, I am living proof. I have slept with more women in my 30's then most men have in their entire lives. I am not saying this to brag, I just want to give you guys hope. I am now in a monogamous relationship and am engaged.
At this time I dont even think about being bald, just every 3 days I shave my head and I am good to go. Save the money you would have spent on a transplant or toupee and vacation to Europe or New Zealand instead. All of the pills/sprays have side effects anyway, I recently read that Propecia may cause prostate cancer. And nothing looks more ridiculous than a 30 year old man wearing a baseball cap.
I hope this helps out at least a few of you. Trust me, until Doctors are able to clone your hair in test tubes this is by far the best option. At this time I dont even miss having hair, honest.
Inspiring post mate, i'm an ex-musician myself - wrong side of 40 - and contemplating whipping all of my hair off some time soon, your post is inspiring, thanks.
a fantastic and totally true post. Its posts like this that make my sanity and my good intentions for my future self want to shave it off! Sometimes it can seem all to consuming as i equate my hair with my attractiveness and just fret over every follicle.
Even if the meds work, what is the cost of taking a pill for these next few years to "save my 20's". this post has inspired me to give the bald look a try!
Boy if i could wake up in the morning and just have to worry about shaving instead of slathering on rogaine and moving my hair around for 20 minutes i would finally be at peace as well.
thanks but the bald look would age me considerably and make me look ugly. I'm sure it suited your features in the end tohugh.
Same here I'm pretty sure I wouldn't look good bald since I have a really long face and a tiny head and hair makes my head look twice bigger. Not to mention I mean so many people tell me I look so much younger than I really am. people tell me that I could pass for being 16 while im
Really 21. So imagine a skinny kid looking guy being bald. I'm
Pretty sure if I would buzz my head right now would get a heat attack. Hairless
Sucks and it really scare the shit out of me.
Cheeser- Good post. You sound like a true voice of reason. I, too, have recently considered shaving it off. The funny thing is that I used to shave my head when I was a teenager. At that time, I had a full head of hair but thought I looked more attractive with my head shaved. Now that I don't have much hair, I want to grow it out (the irony! ha!). Regardless, it is what it is-I have to manage with what I have and I don't have much, so I'm probably going to shave it soon. I agree, the current medical treatments for MPB are not very effective and can produce side effects-I don’t feel like being a guinea pig for the industry. I even tried PRP (because it seemed like a viable treatment that wouldn't produce side effects) but it really didn't so much; my hair continued to fall, I believe, at a greater pace than before. It could just be coincidental but that's my experience nonetheless.
Good luck on your future endeavors and congrats on your engagement!
Props Sir, excellent post!
I think it's pretty much the inevitable, logical way any clear-thinking man will go. It's simply not worth it having to spend 2 hours holed up in the bathroom just to THINK you look presentable whilst everyone else pities you.
I have to totally agree with this post..
Fear is what brings us all down.. fear of not being attractive anymore, fear of ageing, fear of not liking what we see in the mirror and ultimately fear of living life..
How many of us in this forum have been consumed by these fears and for how long.. 2 yrs, 3, 5, 10.. i mean its just ridiculous. I count myself as someone who is generally a happy person but watching my hair fall out has caused me in some part stop living life..
And yeah we don't all look good with a bald head.. but if you don't accept yourself than how is anyone else going to..
I have such a fear that with the loss of my hair, i will be losing much more.. friends, girlfriend etc etc.. and the funny thing is, while im writing this out im thinking how absolutely stupid this thought is.
We're all human beings and we're a dominant species and what keeps us at the top is adaptability.. So yeah right now i can't imagine myself as a happy bald man but the truth is until there's some form of a cure we're all going to have to start living in reality and the first step is to love yourself..
BTW my best mate is bald and i watched him going through the whole process.. and yes it was painful but one things for sure, he takes as many women home now as he did when he had hair and he's not a particularly conversant man.
Thanks for this post.. struck a cord
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